Silas
Beloved of All
It means a lot that you were honest about how difficult this retreat feels, and I am praying for you right now.
God designed marriage to be a deep unity where two lives become one. The word used for one in Scripture often means a compound unity, two distinct persons joined together as one flesh. Jesus taught that in the resurrection people will not marry as they do now, but will be like the angels in heaven, and He affirmed that resurrection is real and certain. That helps us see that marriage as we know it belongs to this life, and that is why it matters so much now. It is not a casual arrangement, it is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman that God uses to reflect His faithfulness while we are here on earth. When a retreat feels disappointing or tense, it does not mean your marriage has failed. It often means God is inviting you both to lean more deeply into that oneness He created.
Part of why these moments feel so hard is the inner conflict we all carry between the flesh and the Spirit. The Bible is clear that there is a real warfare going on inside us. The flesh wants its own way, to be understood, to be right, to pull back, while the Spirit leads us toward patience, kindness, humility and self control. A marriage retreat can bring that tension to the surface very quickly. Time set aside to focus on your relationship can expose impatience, hurt, or old patterns, and that can feel discouraging. Recognizing that struggle for what it is can help you respond differently, by quietly asking the Holy Spirit to lead you in each conversation, to listen well, to speak gently, and to choose grace over getting your own way.
I also think of Jairus, who came to Jesus full of hope for his daughter and then heard the crushing news that she had died. You can imagine his disappointment and sense of hopelessness. Yet when Jesus came to the house where people were weeping, He said do not weep in that way, she is not dead but asleep. He then brought her back to life. When a situation feels lifeless or hopeless to us, Jesus sees it differently. He has power to bring life where we see only death. That does not mean every difficult weekend will instantly feel wonderful, but it does mean you can bring your disappointment to Him honestly and ask Him to do what only He can do in your hearts and in your marriage.
Father, I lift up this dear one to You right now. You see the frustration and weariness in this retreat. Bring Your comfort and peace. Quiet the striving of the flesh and help Your Spirit to rule in every thought and word. Help this couple to remember that You made them one and that You are faithful to sustain what You have joined. Where there is hurt or hopelessness, bring Your life and hope. Give them ears to hear each other, grace to forgive, and strength to love as You have loved us through Jesus Christ. Help them to keep looking to You for resurrection hope and daily help. In Jesus name, amen.
If the retreat continues to feel heavy, give yourself permission to pause, pray briefly, and step back to breathe before you continue a hard conversation. Share honestly but kindly with your spouse about how you are feeling, and keep turning together to Scripture and prayer. God is present with you in this, and He is able to use even a hard retreat for good.
God designed marriage to be a deep unity where two lives become one. The word used for one in Scripture often means a compound unity, two distinct persons joined together as one flesh. Jesus taught that in the resurrection people will not marry as they do now, but will be like the angels in heaven, and He affirmed that resurrection is real and certain. That helps us see that marriage as we know it belongs to this life, and that is why it matters so much now. It is not a casual arrangement, it is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman that God uses to reflect His faithfulness while we are here on earth. When a retreat feels disappointing or tense, it does not mean your marriage has failed. It often means God is inviting you both to lean more deeply into that oneness He created.
Part of why these moments feel so hard is the inner conflict we all carry between the flesh and the Spirit. The Bible is clear that there is a real warfare going on inside us. The flesh wants its own way, to be understood, to be right, to pull back, while the Spirit leads us toward patience, kindness, humility and self control. A marriage retreat can bring that tension to the surface very quickly. Time set aside to focus on your relationship can expose impatience, hurt, or old patterns, and that can feel discouraging. Recognizing that struggle for what it is can help you respond differently, by quietly asking the Holy Spirit to lead you in each conversation, to listen well, to speak gently, and to choose grace over getting your own way.
I also think of Jairus, who came to Jesus full of hope for his daughter and then heard the crushing news that she had died. You can imagine his disappointment and sense of hopelessness. Yet when Jesus came to the house where people were weeping, He said do not weep in that way, she is not dead but asleep. He then brought her back to life. When a situation feels lifeless or hopeless to us, Jesus sees it differently. He has power to bring life where we see only death. That does not mean every difficult weekend will instantly feel wonderful, but it does mean you can bring your disappointment to Him honestly and ask Him to do what only He can do in your hearts and in your marriage.
Father, I lift up this dear one to You right now. You see the frustration and weariness in this retreat. Bring Your comfort and peace. Quiet the striving of the flesh and help Your Spirit to rule in every thought and word. Help this couple to remember that You made them one and that You are faithful to sustain what You have joined. Where there is hurt or hopelessness, bring Your life and hope. Give them ears to hear each other, grace to forgive, and strength to love as You have loved us through Jesus Christ. Help them to keep looking to You for resurrection hope and daily help. In Jesus name, amen.
If the retreat continues to feel heavy, give yourself permission to pause, pray briefly, and step back to breathe before you continue a hard conversation. Share honestly but kindly with your spouse about how you are feeling, and keep turning together to Scripture and prayer. God is present with you in this, and He is able to use even a hard retreat for good.
