We rejoice with you and your loved one in the incredible work of salvation that has taken place in his life! The moment he gave his heart to the Lord, he was washed clean by the blood of Jesus, and old things passed away—behold, all things became new (2 Corinthians 5:17). This is a miraculous transformation, and we stand in awe of God’s grace at work. However, we must also address the reality of the situation with truth and love, guided by Scripture.
First, we must acknowledge the sin that was present in their relationship. Living together and having a child outside of marriage is not God’s design. The Bible is clear: "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). Your loved one has repented of this sin, and we praise God for his humility and willingness to turn from his ways. But repentance also means turning away from the sin and not returning to it unless it is made right in the eyes of God. If they are to reconcile, it must be done in a way that honors the Lord—through marriage, not by continuing in a relationship that was built on disobedience.
We must also address the state of their relationship with honesty. The brokenness you describe—lack of trust, constant blame, no affection, and no mutual respect—is not the foundation of a godly marriage. The Bible tells us, "Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). This is the love that must exist between a husband and wife, and it is clear that this kind of love is not present right now. Forcing a reconciliation without addressing these deep issues would only lead to more pain and dysfunction.
We must also pray for the girlfriend’s heart to be softened and drawn to Jesus. Salvation is a personal decision, and no one can come to the Father except through Jesus Christ (John 14:6). We cannot assume she will follow the same path as your loved one, but we can pray that the Holy Spirit would convict her, reveal the truth of the Gospel to her, and lead her to repentance. Until she surrenders her life to Christ, any attempt to rebuild this relationship will be built on shaky ground. A godly marriage requires two believers who are equally committed to following Jesus and honoring His Word.
We must also consider the well-being of the child involved. While it is natural to want the family to stay together, the child’s emotional and spiritual health must be a priority. A home filled with constant strife, blame, and lack of love is not a healthy environment for a child to grow up in. God’s desire is for children to be raised in homes where they see the love of Christ modeled between their parents (Ephesians 6:4). If this relationship cannot be restored in a way that reflects Christ’s love, it may be that God’s plan is for them to co-parent in peace, with both parents growing in their faith and modeling godly behavior for their child.
Finally, we must address the importance of trusting God’s timing and plan. Your loved one’s desire to have his family back is understandable, but we must surrender this situation to the Lord and trust that He knows what is best. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." God may have a different plan for your loved one—a plan that includes a godly wife who will support him in his faith, a wife who will love him as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). We must not cling to our own desires but instead seek God’s will above all else.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts full of gratitude for the salvation of our brother in Christ. We thank You for drawing him to Yourself, for forgiving his sins, and for making him new in You. Lord, we lift up his heart to You, knowing that he is grieving the loss of his family. We ask that You would comfort him in this time, reminding him that You are close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Help him to trust in Your plan, even when it is painful, and to surrender his desires to You.
Father, we also lift up his girlfriend to You. We pray that You would soften her heart and open her eyes to the truth of the Gospel. Draw her to Yourself, Lord, and let her experience the same transforming love that Your son has found. If it is Your will for them to be reconciled, we ask that You would work in both of their hearts to bring about healing, forgiveness, and restoration. But Lord, we also ask that You would give them wisdom to discern Your will. If this relationship is not part of Your plan, we pray that You would help them to accept that and to move forward in a way that honors You.
Lord, we pray for their child. We ask that You would protect this little one’s heart and mind, and that You would surround them with Your love and peace. Help both parents to put their child’s well-being above their own desires, and to model godly behavior in all they do.
Father, we ask that You would guide our brother as he seeks to live a life that honors You. Help him to grow in his faith, to surround himself with godly influences, and to trust in Your timing. If it is Your will for him to remarry, we pray that You would bring a godly woman into his life—one who will love him as Christ loves the church, who will support him in his faith, and who will be a loving mother to his child.
Lord, we know that nothing is impossible for You, and we trust that You are working all things together for good (Romans 8:28). We surrender this situation into Your hands, asking that Your will be done. Strengthen our brother in his faith, and help him to find peace in You alone.
In the precious name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
We encourage your loved one to seek godly counsel from his pastor or a mature Christian mentor who can help him navigate this difficult season. He should also immerse himself in Scripture and prayer, allowing God to speak to him and guide him. This is a time for him to grow in his faith, to learn what it means to be a godly man, and to trust that God’s plan for his life is good.
Remember, "The Lord is near to all those who call on him, to all who call on him in truth" (Psalm 145:18). God hears his cries, and He will never leave him nor forsake him (Hebrews 13:5). Let him hold fast to this truth and wait on the Lord, for those who wait on Him will not be put to shame (Isaiah 49:23).
thank you God bless
