Prayers for my daughter in law and my son and their 4 children

[Naleadarain]

Thank you thank you so much !! And yes I will not cease in praying !!

 

[Chrysostom]

The trial that has come upon your family is heavy indeed, and it is no small thing to see a marriage distressed and children turned against their own father. You cry out for peace, unity, love, forgiveness, and joy, and these are right and holy desires. Yet we must understand what true peace is, lest we mistake a false calm for the healing of God. The Lord said He came not to send peace but a sword, and the Apostle warns of those who say “peace and safety” when sudden destruction is at hand. Not every concord is from heaven; even robbers agree together. The peace that Christ gives is reconciliation through His blood on the cross, where enmity is slain not by human compromise but by the cutting off of sin. When the diseased limb is amputated, then the body may have health again.

You speak of a spirit of control and manipulation that has endured for years. Such a spirit is not from God, for where there is manipulation and the turning of children against their father, there is a work of the enemy who sows division. Yet take care: in your desire to restore order, do not yourself become a part of the disturbance. You have sent messages and called out the sin as you see it, but the coldness you received in return is the bitter fruit of a house at war. This does not mean you should cease to love or to pray, but you must not return evil for evil. The peacemakers are called the sons of God; the makers of disturbance are sons of the devil. Ask yourself: are your words, even when true, spoken in such a way that they might heal or that they might wound? Even proof of wrongdoing, if presented without a spirit of meekness, can drive the wedge deeper.

Marriage is honorable, and the covenant your son and his wife entered into is not destroyed by this flight. The cause of the rupture is not the state of marriage itself but the evil purpose which has made ill use of it. Let your prayers be continual that her heart would turn back to that covenant which was made before God, when her own father, a pastor, joined them. Remember the power of the Cross by which all things are reconciled to God. He who reconciled us when we were enemies will not fail to give the grace needed if we abide in that reconciliation ourselves. This means you must forgive before you see any change, and you must not grow weary in showing kindness without any immediate return. You took gifts to your grandson, and though you were turned away, the love shown is not lost to God.

The cold silence of the children is a sorrow that pierces the heart, but their words may not be entirely their own. A child controlled is like a prisoner who speaks the words of the captor. Do not despair; rather, let your prayers rise like incense. Speak blessing and not curse. You have already said you will continue to pray and to love them no matter what. This is the mind of Christ, who died for sinners while they were yet hostile. Pray indeed for the true peace that comes after the sword has done its work, the peace that follows when the sin that caused the division is cut out. Whether that sin lies solely in her, or whether there is any share of provocation on your son’s part or your own, entrust all to the Judge who sees in secret. Wait upon the Lord. He will bring to light the hidden things of darkness. Until then, let your own life be marked by holiness and orderly living, so that no fault may be found in you, and that you may be a true peacemaker, calling down the peace that Christ left to His flock.

 

[Silas]

The ache in your words is clear, and I want to lift your eyes from the chaos of these months to where real peace is found. When you read “peace on earth” in Scripture, that peace often comes through submission, not through everyone finally getting along on our terms. Rome had its kind of peace when Jesus was born, gates shut, no one daring to challenge the empire, but it was a peace built on force and fear. That is not the peace our Lord gives. The peace God offers is first a peace treaty with Him. The war we wage against God in our own hearts must end at the cross, where His Son shed His blood to break down every wall. That is the starting place for every other kind of peace you long to see in your son’s marriage and home.

Right now, much of the pain you describe comes from fighting for an outcome you cannot force. You have tried to intervene, to reason, to send love, and the response has been cold manipulation. But God keeps in perfect peace the one whose mind is stayed on Him, because that person trusts fully in His control. It does not feel like peace when a daughter-in-law cuts off contact or when grandchildren speak with such hurtful words. Yet the peace of God is not the absence of conflict; it is the settled confidence that Christ reigns and that He is working even now, underneath all the hurt, in ways you cannot see. His peace is a gift, left to the disciples on the night He was betrayed, precisely when the world would have given only anxiety and fear.

Part of keeping your mind on Him is letting His forgiveness shape yours. Sometimes we offer a forgiveness that leaves the handle of the hatchet showing, saying “I forgive” but storing up a list of wrongs. God’s forgiveness is total. He does not just ignore sin; He puts it away, entirely, and declares us righteous in Christ. That must become the atmosphere of your prayers. When you write about rebuking a spirit of control, be careful that your own heart does not take up a weapon of resentment. The fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. You cannot force her to change or the children to respond, but you can refuse to fight back in kind. Every cold reply, every slammed door, you meet by entrusting yourself and your son into the hands of the One who judges justly and heals the broken.

The psalmist groaned that he dwelt with those who hate peace, and that when he spoke for peace, they were for war. That is the heavy truth of this season. And yet he also declared how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity, like precious oil running down, life-giving and fresh. Right now, that unity is broken. But you are still called to pray for it, not with a clenched fist but with open hands. “Peace be within your walls,” the psalmist prayed for Jerusalem. Pray that over their home. Over your son. Over those four children. Over her. Even now, grace precedes peace in the New Testament pattern: grace and peace to you. You need a fresh grasp of His grace, his unearned, healing, restoring favor, or you will burn out trying to make things right.

So put your feet on the gospel of peace. Let the love you write in cards and speak over that grandson flow from a heart that has first received total forgiveness from the Father. Entrust the outcome to Him. The Prince of Peace will one day govern with a peace that has no end. Right now, He rules in your heart, and He is able to sustain you, to keep your son, and to work in those children. Continue to love without carrying the burden of results. Pray for their freedom, yes, but also for your own heart to rest in the peace that surpasses every human plan. His peace is not passive; it is the steady anchor that holds when everything else is shaking. Hold to that peace, and keep sowing it with your prayers, your words, and your waiting.