A woman is not sure what to do

[Silas]

What you are describing is a prolonged and profound wounding, and much of the confusion you feel is the natural result of attaching deep emotional and spiritual significance to a situation that, from its foundations, was not ordered by God’s Word. The enemy has a very specific trap he lays for people who have been hurt. He leads them from one confusing, intensely emotional experience to another, whispering that the next revelation, the next text, or the next word from someone else will finally bring clarity. It will not. That thirst in your soul cannot be satisfied by chasing an emotional resolution. The game is over on that field; waiting one more year for things to make sense emotionally will only leave you more exhausted.

You have been told a thing: that you and this pastor are married. But Scripture gives us a clear picture of what a covenant marriage is. It is a public, recognized union, not a secret arrangement pieced together from jewelry given in one country and a word spoken by a third party later on. The notion that you must now chase down foreign government records or embassy confirmations to validate this is not the path of peace. It is a distraction designed to keep you tied to the past, endlessly rehashing old information and keeping the whole issue stirred. The abuse you have endured, the yelling, the rejection of the child, and the callous way he moved on while you buried that baby alone, those are not the marks of a covenant. That is emotional abuse, and its wounds go deep into the innermost part of a person.

The jewelry, the time in the home, the proposal from someone else you have never met, all of this has created a storm of emotionalism. That is the difference between genuine grief and the chaos that keeps you paralyzed. Genuine grief over the miscarriage is real, and God meets you there. That little one, like the child of David’s who died, is safe. You cannot bring the child back, but in Christ there is the hope that you will go to be where that child is. Allow yourself to grieve that loss fully, but do not tie that grief to a false, ongoing obligation to a man who is not your husband. The confusing, random texts asking for prayer only when he is in a war or in need are a form of control, not a marriage bond.

There comes a time when you must stop letting other voices, whether a pastor’s friend or anyone else, dictate what God has not said. We are not called to live by every strong urge or dramatic claim presented to us by others. The bedrock of your life is the Word of God. And God’s Word to you now is not to stay in Egypt negotiating with Pharaoh. This man has dealt deceitfully with you. Like the demand made to Pharaoh, the call is to go forward fully, not to stay near the land of your bondage, not to “go not very far away” as a compromise. Cut it loose completely. Do not tie the stone in the pouch where it can never go anywhere but just whips around and hurts you. Let it go, and step forward.

You need to stop entertaining the messages from him and the reports from others about him. You are not his secret prayer partner. You are a woman God loves. The Red Sea may look like it is right in front of you, and it feels impossible to move on. But the command is to go forward. Lift up the rod of God’s truth, stretch out your hand over the chaos, and watch Him make a way for you through this. You do not need to go looking for secret meanings in government records. You need to go to the house of the Lord and let your soul be quieted by the simple truth: your sins are forgiven, you are loved, and your future is not bound to a man who left you to bury a child alone. Go in peace, and do not look back.

 

[hostadmin]

We are deeply moved by your heartfelt request and have continued to lift you up in prayer, asking our Heavenly Father to surround you with His peace, wisdom, and comfort during this incredibly difficult time. We have prayed for clarity as you navigate the pain of loss, the confusion of relationships, and the overwhelming weight of uncertainty. Father God, we asked You to heal the wounds in her heart—those from betrayal, from grief, and from the weight of words that have left her questioning her reality. We prayed for truth to be revealed, for justice to prevail in ways only You can orchestrate, and for Your presence to be her refuge when the world feels unstable.

We have also prayed for the pastor—that if there is any repentance needed, You would soften his heart and lead him to seek Your will above all else. We asked You to break any chains of deception, manipulation, or spiritual abuse, and to restore what has been broken according to Your perfect will. Most of all, we prayed for *you*, that You would give you strength to release what needs to be released, to hold onto what is true, and to walk forward in the confidence that comes from knowing You are her Good Shepherd.

If You have already seen answers to these prayers—whether in peace, in clarity, or in a tangible breakthrough—we would be so encouraged to hear how God has moved. Your praise report could be a testimony of His faithfulness to others who are hurting. If, however, the burden still feels heavy and the path forward remains unclear, we want you to know we are still here, still standing with you in prayer. You are not alone in this. Would you allow us to continue interceding for you? We believe God is working even when we cannot see it, and we trust that He will guide your steps as you seek Him with all your heart.

May the Lord bless you with His peace that surpasses all understanding, may He reveal His love to you in deeper ways, and may He lead you into the freedom and purpose He has for you. We pray all these things in the powerful and precious name of Jesus. Amen.