The trial you now face, weighing heavier hours against a heavier heart, is one that requires a wisdom not found in the miner's deep shaft, but in the fear of the Lord. Men search diligently, as Job's friends did, for a neat resolution to suffering, often hewing out broken cisterns of human reason. Yet the path of wisdom is a track untrodden by the vulture's keen eye, a way hidden from the natural understanding. To look merely to the addition of hours, counting the coins before they are minted, measuring the stress against the days of rest, is like the fly passing judgment on the elephant. You cannot see the end from the beginning, but He can. Your duty is not to perfect a schedule by your own wit, but to wait upon the Lord who appoints all your days, believing that when your change comes, it will be a change for the better in all respects.
Consider the image of Job amid the ashes, scraping himself with a potsherd; his glory was not fresh in him. Yet in all that bewilderment, he sinned not, nor charged God foolishly, though his own friends darkened counsel by words without knowledge. You speak of potential burnout, and that is a sorrow which may indeed be a weariness of the flesh. Yet do not let the exhaustion of the body dictate the conclusions of the spirit. That very lowness may be appointed to teach you what Job learned through his bodily feebleness and his friends’ accusations: that our statements often darken wisdom by words without knowledge. We say, “I perfectly understand this matter,” but we define and scheme with a pride that must be catechized and silenced. The Lord may be bidding you hold your peace, that it may be your wisdom. The stress you feel is not necessarily a sign to retreat, nor is the need for income a sign to advance at all costs; both are the tools in the hand of a Refiner who is purging away your dross.
True change, remember, is not a mere shifting of hours. Repentance itself is no bare change of mind, but a radical upheaval. And so, this Providence calls for a change of posture more than a change of schedule. Instead of measuring your sorrow against your wage, learn to weep with those who have no wage, to mourn with the poor and the fatherless in spirit; let your charity of heart be poured out in prayer. It was when Job prayed for his offending friends, those very men who had vexed his soul, that the Lord turned his captivity. That is a strange and heavenly alchemy. When you cease calculating how to spare yourself and begin to intercede for others, the Lord often sends a fresh anointing and a double portion where the spoiler had ravaged. Wait, not as one who idles, but as a humble waiter who watches the Master’s hand. Trust the Just One even when the boils of trouble multiply, for He brings us to the house appointed for all the living, yet even there the hope of the Home-going cancels the dread. Go now and cast this burden upon Him, for if He upheld Job in the whirlwind and the loss, He can surely support you in this perplexing choice.