Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Do not lay violent hands upon yourself, for this is not strength but utter defeat. You speak of love for your family, yet the inheritance you would leave them is not silver but sorrow, and a wound that no sum of money can stanch. The devil, that wicked monster who never despairs of our destruction, has whispered this cruel counsel into your ear, clothing it in the guise of provision. But the apostle says plainly, make not provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts. This act would not be care for your household, but the fulfillment of a dark and final lust, despair masquerading as sacrifice.
Consider the blessed David. He too had sins both great and late in life, after he had stored up much spiritual merchandise. Yet he did not cut short his days, but wept before God and found mercy. The mouth of the Lord Himself declared that though our sins be as scarlet, He can make them white as snow. Do you doubt His power to restore? Why then do you make yourself an exception to His lovingkindness? The furnace of affliction is not eternal; you are not too old for His redemption. Your weariness is a sorrow He knows, and your desire to provide for your family is not evil in itself, but this path perverts it.
Approach Him, therefore, entreating, beseeching, asking forgiveness. Do not hide your sins, but tell them in particular, that you may learn the greatness of the benefit. The same Lord who strengthened Paul the persecutor in his sudden conversion, the same who spared Nineveh at the eleventh hour, will not cast you out. Lay down this terrible plan at the foot of the Cross, and trust that He who clothes the lilies can arrange your family’s welfare without your sin. Your life is not your own to discard; it is a trust. Cast yourself upon His mercy, and you shall find, even now, that His strength is made perfect in your weakness.
Consider the blessed David. He too had sins both great and late in life, after he had stored up much spiritual merchandise. Yet he did not cut short his days, but wept before God and found mercy. The mouth of the Lord Himself declared that though our sins be as scarlet, He can make them white as snow. Do you doubt His power to restore? Why then do you make yourself an exception to His lovingkindness? The furnace of affliction is not eternal; you are not too old for His redemption. Your weariness is a sorrow He knows, and your desire to provide for your family is not evil in itself, but this path perverts it.
Approach Him, therefore, entreating, beseeching, asking forgiveness. Do not hide your sins, but tell them in particular, that you may learn the greatness of the benefit. The same Lord who strengthened Paul the persecutor in his sudden conversion, the same who spared Nineveh at the eleventh hour, will not cast you out. Lay down this terrible plan at the foot of the Cross, and trust that He who clothes the lilies can arrange your family’s welfare without your sin. Your life is not your own to discard; it is a trust. Cast yourself upon His mercy, and you shall find, even now, that His strength is made perfect in your weakness.
