We hear your heartfelt cries and the deep longing you have for this relationship, and we come before the Lord with you in prayer. First, we praise God for your gratitude and acknowledgment of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in your life and the lives of your loved ones. Your desire to draw closer to God through daily Bible reading and prayer is beautiful, and we join you in asking the Lord to strengthen this discipline in your life. "Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path" (Psalm 119:105). May the Lord open your eyes to the treasures of His Word and fill your heart with His peace as you seek Him morning and night.
However, we must address the concerns in your prayer with love and truth, as Scripture calls us to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Your focus on this relationship reveals a deep emotional investment, but we must gently rebuke the areas where it does not align with God’s design for marriage and relationships. First, the Bible is clear that marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, established by God for a lifetime (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6). Your desire for marriage is not wrong, but the way you are pursuing this relationship raises several red flags that must be addressed.
You mention that this man has blocked you in the past, and now you are praying for him to unblock you and remain unblocked. This pattern of being blocked and unblocked is not a foundation for a godly marriage. A man who truly desires to honor God and pursue you as a potential spouse would not engage in such behavior. Proverbs 24:3-4 says, "Through wisdom a house is built; by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all rare and beautiful treasure." A relationship built on instability, emotional highs and lows, and uncertainty is not the wise foundation God calls us to. We must rebuke the idea that love is measured by how often someone reaches out or unblocks you. Love is patient, love is kind, and it does not seek its own (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). If this man is playing with your emotions, as you fear, he is not demonstrating the love of Christ.
You also mention that you have not been reading the Bible or praying much, and this is a critical issue. How can you discern God’s will for this relationship if you are not consistently in His Word? "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God" (Romans 12:2). Your time with God must come first, not just as a discipline, but as a lifeline. We encourage you to seek Him above all else, including this relationship. If this man is not pursuing you with honor, respect, and a desire to glorify God, he is not the one God has for you.
The mention of marriage in a church is beautiful, but marriage is not just about the ceremony, it is about the covenant. You speak of moving in with his family after marriage to save money, but this is not the biblical model for marriage. Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh." Marriage is about leaving and cleaving, not merging households out of financial convenience. We must rebuke the idea that marriage should be entered into for financial reasons or because you feel you have no one else to help you. God is your provider, and He will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
You also mention that you are holding onto his words of love, but love is not just words, it is action. "Let us not love in word only, or with the tongue only, but in deed and truth" (1 John 3:18). If this man is not demonstrating love through consistent, honorable actions, his words are empty. We must also address the financial aspect of your prayer, the ### he overpaid you and the gifts you have bought for him. These things should not be the focus of your relationship. If he is not willing to accept repayment, it may be a sign that he is not treating you with the respect and integrity a godly man should. "Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is perverse in his ways" (Proverbs 28:6).
We must also gently correct the language of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" in your prayer. Courtship, not dating, is the biblical model for pursuing marriage. Courtship is intentional, with the goal of marriage, and it is conducted with accountability and purity. You should not be in a relationship where you are emotionally or physically intimate outside of marriage. If this man is not pursuing you with the intention of marriage, and if he is not treating you with the honor due a future wife, then this relationship is not of God.
Finally, we must address the fact that you are placing this relationship above your relationship with God. Your prayers reveal that your hope, joy, and emotional well-being are tied to this man’s actions. This is idolatry, and it breaks God’s heart. "You shall have no other gods before me" (Exodus 20:3). We rebuke the spirit of idolatry in this situation and call you to repentance. Your first love must be Jesus Christ. Only when He is your everything will you be able to discern His will for your relationships.
Let us pray:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear sister to You. Lord, we thank You for her desire to seek You and for her love for Your Word. We ask that You draw her closer to You, that she may find her identity, worth, and fulfillment in You alone. Father, we ask that You break the chains of emotional dependency on this relationship. If this man is not the one You have for her, we pray that You close the door completely and give her the strength to walk away. If he is the one, we pray that You convict his heart to pursue her with honor, integrity, and a desire to glorify You.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of fear, insecurity, and idolatry that has taken root in this situation. We declare that You are her provider, her protector, and her peace. We pray that You fill her with Your Holy Spirit, that she may walk in wisdom and discernment. Father, we ask that You heal her heart from any past wounds and fill her with Your love, so she is not seeking love from a man to fill a void that only You can fill.
We pray for this man, Lord. If he is not walking in Your will, we ask that You convict him and bring him to repentance. If he is the one You have for her, we pray that You mold him into the godly husband she needs. Father, we ask that You surround her with godly mentors, friends, and family who will speak truth into her life and hold her accountable. We pray that she would seek You above all else, that her time in Your Word and prayer would be a priority, and that she would find her joy and hope in You alone.
Lord, we ask that You give her the strength to let go of this relationship if it is not Your will. We pray that You would open her eyes to any areas of sin or idolatry and give her the courage to repent. We declare that she is a daughter of the Most High God, and her worth is found in Christ alone. We pray that You would prepare her for the godly marriage You have for her, if that is Your will, and that she would trust in Your timing and Your plan.
We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names, the only name by which we are saved. May Your will be done in her life, and may she find her ultimate satisfaction in You. Amen.
We encourage you to seek God above all else. Spend time in His Word, not just as a discipline, but as a lifeline. Join a Bible-believing church where you can find accountability, mentorship, and godly friendships. Surround yourself with believers who will encourage you in your walk with Christ. If this man is not pursuing you with honor and integrity, we urge you to let go and trust God with your future. He has a plan for you, and it is a plan for good, not for harm, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Trust in Him, and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).