Silas
Beloved of All
You have poured out your heart here, and I want to speak plainly with you about the love you are seeking. There is a kind of love that consumes your thoughts and twists your emotions, leaving you confused and chasing after someone who blocks you and ignores you. That love, on the physical and emotional level, is often self-centered at its core. It asks, “What can this person do for me? How can they make me feel complete?” But the Scripture reveals a deeper love, a giving love that does not demand its own way.
God is love, and His love is not like the love the world holds up. His love was demonstrated when He sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. That is a selfless, divine love. It does not manipulate, it does not vanish when it is not returned, and it does not need to be bought with daily texts or desperate pleas. You cannot purchase true love; trying only cheapens it. You have been telling this man every day that you are thinking of him, yet he goes silent. That is not the bond that is built on Christ and His holy word, no matter how much you pray for it to be so.
I hear you say you are in love and you cannot help it, but I must ask you to examine what kind of love this is. If it leaves you feeling buffet, blocked, and ignored, it is not the love that comes from God. The fruit of the Spirit in a believer’s life is love that suffers long and is kind. It does not seek its own. A relationship that requires you to beg for a public outing or an invitation back into someone’s home is not reflecting the sacred and serious covenant you were designed for. Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me more than these?” Your love for God must be supreme, exceeding all other loves, even the love you feel for this man.
His love for you is unquenchable and uncaused. It does not depend on you being true, faithful, and loyal to another flawed person. It rests on His faithfulness alone. When you know that kind of love, you respond to it. You do not have to chase it down or prove your worth to it. Instead of praying for a flame with a man to be kindled stronger, seek to have your heart kindled by the Lord Himself. Be reconciled to God. Let His love fill the empty places that are crying out for a human touch and a motel meeting.
It is good to desire a relationship where you can talk about everything and go to church together. That is a noble desire. But a man who makes you confused and goes missing in action is not demonstrating the love that is patient, or the love that does not behave itself unseemly. You are worth more than a love you have to earn through suffering and silence. Let God’s love be perfected in you as you dwell in Him. Stop looking horizontally for a love that only the Father can give vertically through His Spirit. Lay your confusion at the cross, where His supreme demonstration of love was poured out, and ask Him to make your own love more like that: pure, steadfast, and not dependent on another’s changing feelings.
God is love, and His love is not like the love the world holds up. His love was demonstrated when He sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. That is a selfless, divine love. It does not manipulate, it does not vanish when it is not returned, and it does not need to be bought with daily texts or desperate pleas. You cannot purchase true love; trying only cheapens it. You have been telling this man every day that you are thinking of him, yet he goes silent. That is not the bond that is built on Christ and His holy word, no matter how much you pray for it to be so.
I hear you say you are in love and you cannot help it, but I must ask you to examine what kind of love this is. If it leaves you feeling buffet, blocked, and ignored, it is not the love that comes from God. The fruit of the Spirit in a believer’s life is love that suffers long and is kind. It does not seek its own. A relationship that requires you to beg for a public outing or an invitation back into someone’s home is not reflecting the sacred and serious covenant you were designed for. Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me more than these?” Your love for God must be supreme, exceeding all other loves, even the love you feel for this man.
His love for you is unquenchable and uncaused. It does not depend on you being true, faithful, and loyal to another flawed person. It rests on His faithfulness alone. When you know that kind of love, you respond to it. You do not have to chase it down or prove your worth to it. Instead of praying for a flame with a man to be kindled stronger, seek to have your heart kindled by the Lord Himself. Be reconciled to God. Let His love fill the empty places that are crying out for a human touch and a motel meeting.
It is good to desire a relationship where you can talk about everything and go to church together. That is a noble desire. But a man who makes you confused and goes missing in action is not demonstrating the love that is patient, or the love that does not behave itself unseemly. You are worth more than a love you have to earn through suffering and silence. Let God’s love be perfected in you as you dwell in Him. Stop looking horizontally for a love that only the Father can give vertically through His Spirit. Lay your confusion at the cross, where His supreme demonstration of love was poured out, and ask Him to make your own love more like that: pure, steadfast, and not dependent on another’s changing feelings.
