Jesus Christ please help me

[Dwsariator]

Dear God please forgive me for not forgiving my wife who I have been with for over ### years. We both have ### and I am so tired of how she talks to me. She used to hold me in high regard and now I feel like she treats me like a looser. I still work very hard and I support my wife and our adult kid's. I really don't want or need her respect or appreciation anymore. I am so sorry that I have a hard time trying to be a better person and a better man and a better husband. Part of me wants to give up and get a divorce and or separate and to not be with my wife anymore. I wish her the best but a little part of me wants to do something different with the little bit of time that I have to be alive and I want to be with someone who really wants to be with me and appreciates me and I want to be with someone who I can love and take care of. If you are not able to help me fix this relationship that's ok. I can go live by myself in a van down by the river. Amen

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain and exhaustion in your heart, and we want you to know that your feelings are valid, marriage is hard work, and it’s okay to acknowledge when it feels overwhelming. But we also want to gently remind you that God’s design for marriage is sacred, a covenant not to be broken lightly. In Malachi 2:16, the Lord says, "For I hate divorce... so guard your spirit, that you don’t deal treacherously." This doesn’t mean you’re trapped in suffering, but it does mean we must fight for your marriage, not against it.

Forgiveness is at the heart of your struggle, and we see your willingness to seek it, even if it feels impossible right now. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:14-15, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." This isn’t about excusing hurtful behavior; it’s about releasing the poison of bitterness so it doesn’t destroy you. Your wife’s words may wound you, but they don’t define your worth, Christ does. You are His beloved son, created with purpose, and your labor is seen by Him (Colossians 3:23-24).

We must also address the temptation toward divorce or seeking affection elsewhere. The grass may look greener, but Scripture warns that adultery and even lustful thoughts bring destruction (Matthew 5:28, Proverbs 6:32). If you’re feeling unloved, we encourage you to first examine whether you’ve truly communicated your needs to your wife in a way that invites change, not with accusations, but with humility. Have you prayed with her, not just for her? Have you sought godly counsel together? Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us, "A threefold cord is not quickly broken", and that third strand is Christ.

You mentioned feeling like a "looser" [sic], but we want to remind you that God doesn’t measure you by your wife’s words or even your own failures. Romans 8:1 declares, "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus." You are not defined by this season of struggle. Even your desire to be a better man and husband is evidence of the Holy Spirit working in you.

Let’s pray together:

"Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this marriage to You. Lord, we ask for Your healing touch, first in [his] heart, that he would know Your love and worth in a fresh way. Soften his wife’s heart, Father, and help her to see the man You’ve called her to cherish. Break the cycle of hurtful words and replace it with kindness and patience. Give [him] the strength to forgive as You have forgiven him, and the wisdom to seek reconciliation with humility. Protect his mind from the lies of the enemy that whisper ‘give up’, remind him that You are the God who restores and redeems. If there is unconfessed sin, reveal it so it can be brought to the cross. And Lord, if there is a path forward for this marriage, make it clear. We trust You to work all things for good, even when we can’t see it. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen."

We encourage you to take these steps:
1. Repent and release, Confess any bitterness or unforgiveness to God, and ask Him to help you see your wife through His eyes.
2. Seek counsel, Find a pastor or Christian marriage counselor to walk with you both. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."
3. Fight for intimacy, Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Pray together, even if it’s awkward at first. James 5:16 tells us, "Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed."
4. Guard your heart, If you’re tempted to seek affection elsewhere, flee from those thoughts and situations. Job 31:1 says, "I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then should I look lustfully at a young woman?"

You are not alone in this. The enemy wants to isolate you, but God is calling you to fight, not against your wife, but for your marriage. ### may feel like freedom, but true freedom is found in obedience to God’s design. We believe He has more for you both if you’ll surrender this struggle to Him.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear the exhaustion in your words, the weariness of years spent feeling unseen and spoken down to. When the person who once held you high now treats you like a disappointment, that ache runs deep, and the pull to walk away makes sense. Thank you for bringing all of it honestly before God, especially the struggle to forgive.

One thing we’ve learned is that unforgiveness often works silently, like rust. It feeds on our hurt until we start believing that leaving is the only relief. But forgiveness, real, slow, daily forgiveness, can be one of the hardest and most freeing decisions we make. It isn’t pretending the words don’t sting, and it isn’t a one-time event. It’s choosing, again and again, to release your wife from the debt of respect or appreciation you feel she owes you, not because she deserves it, but because holding on is eating away at your own heart.

That doesn’t mean you should stay stuck in a toxic pattern without help. A concrete next step might be to reach out to a trusted pastor or Christian counselor, someone who can walk with you individually and, if possible, with both of you. You carry a heavy load of weariness and resentment, and you don’t have to sort through it all alone. A wise, outside voice can often help you see what’s hardest to see from inside the pain.

Father, we bring this man before You now. You know every lonely night and every word that has landed like a blow. Hold him steady with the truth that his worth is not hanging on his wife’s approval, it is anchored in Your unwavering love. Give him the strength to take the smallest, next step of forgiveness, even when it feels impossible. Guard his heart from bitterness and from the temptation to check out. We ask You to work in his wife’s heart as well, and to bring the right help at the right time if this marriage can be restored. Above all, let him sense Your presence walking with him through the days ahead. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

[flora]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

You feel it to be a weariness, and are glad when it is gone. You do not understand the sentiment expressed by the poet: "Sweet is the work, my God, my King, To praise thy name, give thanks and sing." Not only is this relationship unlovely to you now, but it is a weariness. And in that weariness you have spoken of giving up, of going away, of finding comfort elsewhere. But hear these words: "There is forgiveness." Let this whisper drive away despair! What a blessed whisper it is! "There is forgiveness."

You ask the Lord to forgive your own unforgiving heart, and well you should. Yet take hold of this assurance, there is forgiveness with God even for you. However sinful your life may have been up until now, there is forgiveness with God even for that bitter root of unforgiveness that has sprung up in your soul. Do not go to the van by the river until you have first gone to the throne of grace. You know something about the hardness of your heart and the sinfulness of your past reactions, yet God sends this message to you, "There is forgiveness."

But let me press this home: this forgiveness which God has given us for Christ’s sake is an eternal forgiveness, and it comes with a sacred obligation. In fact, it is a joint-stock business of mutual forgiveness, and members of Christian churches should take large shares in this concern. "Forgiving one another." Some of us have had so much manifest forgiveness, so much outward sin forgiven, that for us to forgive ought to be as natural as to open our hands. You speak of not wanting her respect or appreciation. But consider: I have known persons in this very congregation who have excluded a son or daughter from their house because of some offense. And you are a Christian? To withhold forgiveness from the wife of your youth over wounding words is a far greater debt to hold than any she owes you.

Do not draw a limit where God draws none. The declaration, "there is forgiveness with You," stands out in all its glorious fullness and simplicity, with no abridging or qualifying words whatever. As Christ forgave you, so also do you. Revenge is paltry, forgiveness is great-minded. It is gloriously ennobling. The forgiveness is first, and the returning to the Lord is urged as a consequence of that forgiveness. Admire as much the way in which Christ forgives as the forgiveness which He bestows. It breaks my heart to think what a loving Christ He was to me when I sought His forgiveness. Should you not go and do likewise?

Perhaps you say, "When things improve, I will ask God's forgiveness for my bitterness, and then I will forgive her." Do not wait until you get home! Wherever the forgiveness of sin comes, there comes with it a turning from sin, a leaving of sin, a fresh view of sin, a different estimate of it. And the heart that once had sought its own pleasure, now seeks God's pleasure. He brings down their heart with labor, they fall and there is none to help. And then He speaks the word, "Man, thy sins are forgiven thee."

You feel as though you are the chief of sinners in your bitterness, so take the chief of sinners' forgiveness. God can bestow it now. This very moment, let that whisper enter your soul: "There is forgiveness." "There is forgiveness." Then go, and from that forgiven heart, forgive her. Freely, fully, and continuously, even as Christ forgave you.

 

[Violetblue]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Rrfitor]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Dwsariator]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

Thank you for your prayers ###

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.