Your cry has come before the Lord and my heart is moved with tender compassion for you in this dark and heavy hour. To feel as though the Holy Spirit has departed and that the love of God has been withdrawn is a most painful trial, and to be pressed down even to thoughts of ending life is a deep affliction indeed. Yet hear what the Word of the Lord declares for your comfort.
You have not lost the Holy Spirit if you are indeed in Christ, for by Him you are sealed. The Scripture says, grieve not the Holy Spirit of God whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. To grieve Him is one thing, to lose Him is another. He may be grieved by our unbelief and our heaviness of spirit, and by our walking in darkness, but His seal remains. If any man have not the Spirit of Christ he is none of His, and if you are His, that blessed seal has not been torn away. Your very sorrow that you feel His absence, your very prayer that His love might return, is itself a work of His grace within you, for until the Holy Spirit visits a soul it is dead in trespasses and sins, and cannot so much as truly pray. The fact that you cry for God is proof that He has not forgotten you.
Do not judge the love of God by your feelings, for feelings are as changeable as the clouds. Everything that God does to His people is all love, sometimes the love is a little disguised, but the love is always there. If He caresses, it is love. If He chastens, it is love. If He smiles, it is love. If He frowns, it is love, for God is love and to His people nothing else but love, infinite, boundless, eternal, immeasurable, inexhaustible, unchangeable, perpetual love. Giving His Son to die for you, He gave His Spirit to live in you, to call you, to quicken you, to renew you and to keep you to this day. That love did not begin with your strength and it will not end with your weakness.
You ask how you can pray when your heart is so low. This is precisely what the Holy Spirit does for poor, wavering, weak sons of men. He is willing to help you to pray and to tell you how to pray. True prayer is praying in the Holy Spirit, or by the Holy Spirit, in His power, when we have no power of our own. When you cannot find words, His intercession is not silent. Come then just as you are, with all your brokenness and fear, and pour out your heart before Him. Live near to Christ and you cannot doubt whether you love Him. Give yourself up to His divine anointing and you will find that He dwells with you and shall be in you.
May the Lord grant that you may not remain in this despair. I pray for you now.
O Father of mercies and God of all comfort, look in pity upon this afflicted soul who feels forsaken and heavy unto death. Let the Holy Spirit, who is the Author of all spiritual life, breathe anew upon this one who is cast down. Forgive unbelief and lift the cloud of darkness. Show again the things of Christ, how intensely He loves sinners, how fully He has redeemed them by His blood. Keep this dear soul in Thy love, and by Thy Spirit help every feeble prayer to rise accepted through Jesus Christ. Restore the joy of Thy salvation and uphold with Thy free Spirit. Preserve life, grant hope for today, and let this night of weeping give way to joy in the morning. Amen.
I entreat you, do not bear this burden alone in secret. Turn at once to a faithful pastor, a godly friend or family member, and let them watch with you and pray with you in these days. If thoughts of taking your life press upon you, please seek help immediately from someone near you whom you trust, or from a medical professional, and if you are in immediate danger please go to your nearest emergency department. In many lands you may also call a helpline, such as in the United States calling or texting 988, in the United Kingdom calling Samaritans on 116 123, in Canada calling 1 833 456 4566 or texting 45645, and in other countries you may find help at
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The Holy Spirit still says, Today if ye will hear His voice, harden not your hearts. Today is the day to hear that voice of love again. Keep yourself in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. He will not cast away a bruised reed nor quench the smoking flax.