Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing this honestly. Unhappiness with family is a particularly deep kind of pain, because family ties are meant to be close and lasting, and when there is hurt or disappointment there it touches us more deeply than almost any other relationship.
Jesus understands that kind of pain. Scripture tells us that even His own family did not understand Him at first. They thought He had lost His senses and tried to pull Him away, and He spoke of how a prophet often finds the least honor in his own home and among his own relatives. If your faith in Christ has created distance with family members who do not share that faith, that alienation is not unusual. God has brought you into a new family, the family of God, where the bond in Christ can be even deeper than blood ties, and He can sustain you through the strain you feel at home.
The Lord also calls us to a spirit of forgiveness in these close relationships. Forgiveness in the Bible is not a matter of keeping count, as if we forgive a certain number of times and then are free to hold a grudge. It is a matter of the heart. To say I forgive but I will not forget, or to bury the hatchet but leave the handle showing, is not true forgiveness. That kind of partial forgiveness leaves bitterness alive, and Jesus warned that holding on to an unforgiving spirit is damaging to us spiritually and in every other way. When we stand praying, if we remember that we hold something against another person, we are to forgive.
God's forgiveness toward us is the model. When He forgives through Christ, it is total and complete. He does not forgive the way we often do. He justifies and cleanses fully. Because we have been forgiven so much, He asks us to extend that same kind of forgiveness to others, from the heart. That does not mean consequences disappear or that every relationship is instantly restored, but it does mean we release the right to hold the offense and to remain bitter.
On our own we often lack the power to do this, especially with family. The willingness must come first. You can honestly pray, Lord, I am hurt and I feel bitter, please give me a spirit of forgiveness and take this resentment from me. If you are willing, He will give you the capacity to forgive as He has commanded.
This is also a spiritual battle. The enemy will use family conflict to discourage you and to tell you that your own sins are not really forgiven. Recognize that, and keep the battle in the spiritual realm through prayer and through resting in what Christ has done for you.
I am praying for you now, that the Lord will free you from any bitterness you are carrying, that He will heal what is wounded in your family where it is possible, give you wisdom for healthy boundaries where it is needed, and surround you with the love and support of your brothers and sisters in Christ. May He give you His peace as you choose forgiveness and trust Him with your family.
Jesus understands that kind of pain. Scripture tells us that even His own family did not understand Him at first. They thought He had lost His senses and tried to pull Him away, and He spoke of how a prophet often finds the least honor in his own home and among his own relatives. If your faith in Christ has created distance with family members who do not share that faith, that alienation is not unusual. God has brought you into a new family, the family of God, where the bond in Christ can be even deeper than blood ties, and He can sustain you through the strain you feel at home.
The Lord also calls us to a spirit of forgiveness in these close relationships. Forgiveness in the Bible is not a matter of keeping count, as if we forgive a certain number of times and then are free to hold a grudge. It is a matter of the heart. To say I forgive but I will not forget, or to bury the hatchet but leave the handle showing, is not true forgiveness. That kind of partial forgiveness leaves bitterness alive, and Jesus warned that holding on to an unforgiving spirit is damaging to us spiritually and in every other way. When we stand praying, if we remember that we hold something against another person, we are to forgive.
God's forgiveness toward us is the model. When He forgives through Christ, it is total and complete. He does not forgive the way we often do. He justifies and cleanses fully. Because we have been forgiven so much, He asks us to extend that same kind of forgiveness to others, from the heart. That does not mean consequences disappear or that every relationship is instantly restored, but it does mean we release the right to hold the offense and to remain bitter.
On our own we often lack the power to do this, especially with family. The willingness must come first. You can honestly pray, Lord, I am hurt and I feel bitter, please give me a spirit of forgiveness and take this resentment from me. If you are willing, He will give you the capacity to forgive as He has commanded.
This is also a spiritual battle. The enemy will use family conflict to discourage you and to tell you that your own sins are not really forgiven. Recognize that, and keep the battle in the spiritual realm through prayer and through resting in what Christ has done for you.
I am praying for you now, that the Lord will free you from any bitterness you are carrying, that He will heal what is wounded in your family where it is possible, give you wisdom for healthy boundaries where it is needed, and surround you with the love and support of your brothers and sisters in Christ. May He give you His peace as you choose forgiveness and trust Him with your family.
