Please pray for me about my ex popping up recently and randomly contacting me and disturbing my peace when I was in a good place after our breakup. I cut off contact with him now. But I feel so bad. I still love him and he made me feel so terrible like a horrible heartbreaker. I made mistakes but I broke up with him because we are unequally yoked and he is not a Christian and I truly feel he began to have terrible problems in his life because our relationship was not in God's will and God was punishing him especially for him trying to draw me into sexual sin. But I didn't know how to explain that to him. I tried witnessing to him when he popped up this week and at the point that he is, only the Holy Spirit can open his eyes. He has enough information. His heart is hardened toward the gospel. Thank you.
Ex
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We are lifting you up together before the Father and we thank you for sharing this painful situation with such honesty. We understand how difficult it is when an ex reappears and disturbs the peace you had finally found after a breakup, especially when you still have feelings of love for him and also carry guilt and confusion about how things ended.
We want to affirm that your decision to end the relationship because you were unequally yoked was biblical and courageous, even though it hurts deeply now. The Scripture is clear, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship should be understood as courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, and marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that is meant to honor God. When a believer is joined with an unbeliever, the foundation cannot be in God's will, and it will inevitably bring spiritual conflict and sorrow. You did the right thing to step away, and cutting off contact now to protect your peace and your walk with God is wise and necessary.
We also want to address the sexual sin you mentioned with love and truth. You said he tried to draw you into sexual sin, and we want to gently but firmly say that sex before or outside of marriage is fornication, and God calls us to flee from it. Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18. If there was fornication in the relationship, we encourage you to confess it fully to God and receive His forgiveness, for If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9. Do not let the enemy condemn you as a horrible heartbreaker. God does not define you by your mistakes when you are in Christ, Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17. The guilt you feel is understandable, but we must not carry shame that Christ has already borne.
We also hear your concern that God was punishing him and that his terrible problems came because the relationship was not in God's will. It is true that when we walk outside God's will there are painful consequences, and God does discipline those He loves, for whom the Lord loves, he chastens Hebrews 12:6. Yet we want to encourage you to see God's heart correctly. The Lord is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9. His desire for your ex is not merely punishment but that his hardened heart would be softened and that he would turn to salvation. You were right to witness to him, and you are also right to recognize that only the Holy Spirit can open his eyes now. At this point, continued direct contact will only reopen wounds and confuse your own heart, so entrusting him to God in prayer from a distance is the most loving thing you can do. We can pray that God will use the information he already has and bring others across his path to water the seed you planted.
We noticed that you spoke of God, the gospel and the Holy Spirit, but you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that we are saved. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved! Acts 4:12. It is by placing our faith in Jesus Christ, His death for our sins and His resurrection, that we are forgiven, made new, and able to pray with confidence. We encourage you to keep Jesus at the center of your healing and your prayers for your ex, for only He can truly save and transform.
We pray together for you now in Jesus' name. Father, we come before You in the precious name of Jesus Christ and we lift up our sister to Your throne of grace. Lord, we thank You for giving her the courage to walk away from an unequally yoked relationship even when her heart still aches. We ask You to heal her heart, to lift the heavy guilt and the lie that she is a horrible heartbreaker, and to fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Guard her heart and her mind in Christ Jesus as promised in Philippians 4:7. Help her to remain firm in the boundary she has set, to not be drawn back into confusion, and to trust that You will work all things together for good for those who love You according to Romans 8:28. Forgive her for any fornication or mistakes in the relationship and cleanse her completely, and help her to walk in purity as she waits for a godly marriage if it is Your will. We also lift up her ex to You, Lord. You see his hardened heart and his struggles. We ask that Your Holy Spirit would convict him, soften his heart, and draw him to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. Let the gospel seed that was planted take root in Your timing. Give our sister comfort, rest for her soul as You promise Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest Matthew 11:28, and guide her steps toward wholeness and toward a future godly spouse who loves You above all. We ask all this in the saving and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to stay in prayer, in the Word daily, and in fellowship with strong believers who will support your decision. Keep no private door open to contact with him, and let your love for him now be expressed only through prayers for his salvation from afar. God is close to the brokenhearted and will restore your peace as you keep trusting Him. Psalm 34:18.
We want to affirm that your decision to end the relationship because you were unequally yoked was biblical and courageous, even though it hurts deeply now. The Scripture is clear, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship should be understood as courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, and marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that is meant to honor God. When a believer is joined with an unbeliever, the foundation cannot be in God's will, and it will inevitably bring spiritual conflict and sorrow. You did the right thing to step away, and cutting off contact now to protect your peace and your walk with God is wise and necessary.
We also want to address the sexual sin you mentioned with love and truth. You said he tried to draw you into sexual sin, and we want to gently but firmly say that sex before or outside of marriage is fornication, and God calls us to flee from it. Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18. If there was fornication in the relationship, we encourage you to confess it fully to God and receive His forgiveness, for If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9. Do not let the enemy condemn you as a horrible heartbreaker. God does not define you by your mistakes when you are in Christ, Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17. The guilt you feel is understandable, but we must not carry shame that Christ has already borne.
We also hear your concern that God was punishing him and that his terrible problems came because the relationship was not in God's will. It is true that when we walk outside God's will there are painful consequences, and God does discipline those He loves, for whom the Lord loves, he chastens Hebrews 12:6. Yet we want to encourage you to see God's heart correctly. The Lord is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9. His desire for your ex is not merely punishment but that his hardened heart would be softened and that he would turn to salvation. You were right to witness to him, and you are also right to recognize that only the Holy Spirit can open his eyes now. At this point, continued direct contact will only reopen wounds and confuse your own heart, so entrusting him to God in prayer from a distance is the most loving thing you can do. We can pray that God will use the information he already has and bring others across his path to water the seed you planted.
We noticed that you spoke of God, the gospel and the Holy Spirit, but you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that we are saved. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved! Acts 4:12. It is by placing our faith in Jesus Christ, His death for our sins and His resurrection, that we are forgiven, made new, and able to pray with confidence. We encourage you to keep Jesus at the center of your healing and your prayers for your ex, for only He can truly save and transform.
We pray together for you now in Jesus' name. Father, we come before You in the precious name of Jesus Christ and we lift up our sister to Your throne of grace. Lord, we thank You for giving her the courage to walk away from an unequally yoked relationship even when her heart still aches. We ask You to heal her heart, to lift the heavy guilt and the lie that she is a horrible heartbreaker, and to fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Guard her heart and her mind in Christ Jesus as promised in Philippians 4:7. Help her to remain firm in the boundary she has set, to not be drawn back into confusion, and to trust that You will work all things together for good for those who love You according to Romans 8:28. Forgive her for any fornication or mistakes in the relationship and cleanse her completely, and help her to walk in purity as she waits for a godly marriage if it is Your will. We also lift up her ex to You, Lord. You see his hardened heart and his struggles. We ask that Your Holy Spirit would convict him, soften his heart, and draw him to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. Let the gospel seed that was planted take root in Your timing. Give our sister comfort, rest for her soul as You promise Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest Matthew 11:28, and guide her steps toward wholeness and toward a future godly spouse who loves You above all. We ask all this in the saving and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to stay in prayer, in the Word daily, and in fellowship with strong believers who will support your decision. Keep no private door open to contact with him, and let your love for him now be expressed only through prayers for his salvation from afar. God is close to the brokenhearted and will restore your peace as you keep trusting Him. Psalm 34:18.
We hear how heavy this has been for you. Finding a better place after a breakup takes so much work, and then to have that peace disturbed again can feel so disorienting. It makes sense that you feel torn right now, still loving him, still grieving, and also carrying guilt about being the one who ended it.
We want to affirm the boundary you set in cutting off contact. Protecting your peace after you have made a clear decision is not unkind, it is part of guarding your heart and letting your yes be yes and your no be no. It is okay to need space to heal, even when you care deeply for the other person.
What you are feeling is also part of grief. Grief is not only about death, it is the natural response to any deep loss, including the end of a relationship and the loss of the future you had imagined. Feelings of sadness, guilt, and even relief can come in waves, and that does not mean you made the wrong choice.
One thing that may help in the coming weeks is to have a simple plan for your boundary. If he reaches out again, you do not need to explain or debate. You can choose not to respond and let a trusted Christian friend or mentor know so you are not carrying it alone. And give yourself permission to grieve with safe people who can listen without trying to fix it, rather than working through it only in your own thoughts.
Father, we lift our sister to You. You see her love, her sorrow, and her desire to honor You. Bring her Your comfort and steady peace, ease the weight of false guilt, and give her wisdom and strength to keep healthy boundaries. Draw her close and heal her heart in Your time. In Jesus' name, amen.
We want to affirm the boundary you set in cutting off contact. Protecting your peace after you have made a clear decision is not unkind, it is part of guarding your heart and letting your yes be yes and your no be no. It is okay to need space to heal, even when you care deeply for the other person.
What you are feeling is also part of grief. Grief is not only about death, it is the natural response to any deep loss, including the end of a relationship and the loss of the future you had imagined. Feelings of sadness, guilt, and even relief can come in waves, and that does not mean you made the wrong choice.
One thing that may help in the coming weeks is to have a simple plan for your boundary. If he reaches out again, you do not need to explain or debate. You can choose not to respond and let a trusted Christian friend or mentor know so you are not carrying it alone. And give yourself permission to grieve with safe people who can listen without trying to fix it, rather than working through it only in your own thoughts.
Father, we lift our sister to You. You see her love, her sorrow, and her desire to honor You. Bring her Your comfort and steady peace, ease the weight of false guilt, and give her wisdom and strength to keep healthy boundaries. Draw her close and heal her heart in Your time. In Jesus' name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your request has come before the Lord with much tenderness, and there is wisdom and sorrow mingled in it which calls for both truth and mercy.
To have cut off contact when that former path was opened again was not cruelty but obedience. You judged rightly that to be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever is to take a yoke which Christ forbids, and His yoke alone is easy and peace giving. When you felt that love still lingering in your heart and yet chose the will of God above the will of nature, you did not act as a horrible heartbreaker but as one who would be faithful to the Lord who bought you. The pain you feel does not prove that the decision was wrong. The heart will ache when it resigns what it once cherished, yet obedience is the path of peace and happiness.
You speak of guilt and of mistakes, and you feel the weight of them. Hear then the blessedness of which the Psalmist speaks. Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. At the very same time that the guilt of sin is taken away through the blood of Jesus Christ, the Spirit works a change within. The blood whispers peace within, not because we have been flawless, but because Christ was wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities, and the chastisement of our peace was upon Him. If you have looked to Him who was pierced, there is pardon for the greatest guilt, and peace with God becomes the fountain from which peace of conscience flows as a crystal stream. Do not carry the double burden of your own guilt and the service of God together. Come to Him anew, surrender the keys of the most secret chambers of your soul, and ask Him to make sure work with your case. He who has found peace through Jesus Christ will speak his heart honestly before God and find that honesty is the way of rest.
You have also judged rightly concerning that which would draw you into sin. The Lord has ordained that the union of one man and one woman in lifelong covenant is the only place for that nearness, and outside of it such sin is not love but rebellion. To refuse it is not unkindness, it is holiness. Do not seek peace at the expense of truth, nor cry peace, peace where there is no peace. The peace which Satan gives is a stillness of conscience that confirms his power, but the peace of God is a blessing which brings no sorrow with it, a peace from lips that cannot lie, through blood which has made a full atonement. You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. That perfect peace is not found in the absence of a message or the presence of a man, but in a mind stayed upon Christ. When duties press and when loved ones are far away, when sorrows surge round, to do the will of Jesus, this is rest.
You have witnessed faithfully and you say his heart is hardened and only the Holy Spirit can open his eyes. That is true, and it is well to leave him there. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and no labour of yours can give sight to the blind. You have given him enough information for the present, and now prayer mixed with faith must do what argument cannot. It is not for you to explain all the ways of Providence, nor to measure how the Lord deals with him. The supreme Ruler will not patronize sin, and every sin must be condemned, yet the great condemnation of sin was laid upon Christ for all who will believe. Leave your former companion in the hands of that same mercy which saved you, praying that God would bring him from his sin and make a new man of him, if it be His gracious will.
We will pray for you, that the Lord will keep you in that perfect peace which the blood of Jesus whispers within, that He will cleanse you from all guilt and keep you from guile, that He will establish your feet upon obedience and make your conscience quiet before Him. And we will pray for that man, not that God would bless a union which is outside His will, but that God would have mercy upon his soul, open his eyes to see Christ as his only hope, and bring him to repentance and faith. If he should ever be truly converted and become a new creature, that is in the Lord's hands for the future, but for now your path is to walk steadily with Christ, your mind stayed on Him, trusting Him to guard both you and yours in His keeping until earthly struggles cease and He calls you to Heaven's perfect peace.
To have cut off contact when that former path was opened again was not cruelty but obedience. You judged rightly that to be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever is to take a yoke which Christ forbids, and His yoke alone is easy and peace giving. When you felt that love still lingering in your heart and yet chose the will of God above the will of nature, you did not act as a horrible heartbreaker but as one who would be faithful to the Lord who bought you. The pain you feel does not prove that the decision was wrong. The heart will ache when it resigns what it once cherished, yet obedience is the path of peace and happiness.
You speak of guilt and of mistakes, and you feel the weight of them. Hear then the blessedness of which the Psalmist speaks. Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. At the very same time that the guilt of sin is taken away through the blood of Jesus Christ, the Spirit works a change within. The blood whispers peace within, not because we have been flawless, but because Christ was wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities, and the chastisement of our peace was upon Him. If you have looked to Him who was pierced, there is pardon for the greatest guilt, and peace with God becomes the fountain from which peace of conscience flows as a crystal stream. Do not carry the double burden of your own guilt and the service of God together. Come to Him anew, surrender the keys of the most secret chambers of your soul, and ask Him to make sure work with your case. He who has found peace through Jesus Christ will speak his heart honestly before God and find that honesty is the way of rest.
You have also judged rightly concerning that which would draw you into sin. The Lord has ordained that the union of one man and one woman in lifelong covenant is the only place for that nearness, and outside of it such sin is not love but rebellion. To refuse it is not unkindness, it is holiness. Do not seek peace at the expense of truth, nor cry peace, peace where there is no peace. The peace which Satan gives is a stillness of conscience that confirms his power, but the peace of God is a blessing which brings no sorrow with it, a peace from lips that cannot lie, through blood which has made a full atonement. You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. That perfect peace is not found in the absence of a message or the presence of a man, but in a mind stayed upon Christ. When duties press and when loved ones are far away, when sorrows surge round, to do the will of Jesus, this is rest.
You have witnessed faithfully and you say his heart is hardened and only the Holy Spirit can open his eyes. That is true, and it is well to leave him there. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and no labour of yours can give sight to the blind. You have given him enough information for the present, and now prayer mixed with faith must do what argument cannot. It is not for you to explain all the ways of Providence, nor to measure how the Lord deals with him. The supreme Ruler will not patronize sin, and every sin must be condemned, yet the great condemnation of sin was laid upon Christ for all who will believe. Leave your former companion in the hands of that same mercy which saved you, praying that God would bring him from his sin and make a new man of him, if it be His gracious will.
We will pray for you, that the Lord will keep you in that perfect peace which the blood of Jesus whispers within, that He will cleanse you from all guilt and keep you from guile, that He will establish your feet upon obedience and make your conscience quiet before Him. And we will pray for that man, not that God would bless a union which is outside His will, but that God would have mercy upon his soul, open his eyes to see Christ as his only hope, and bring him to repentance and faith. If he should ever be truly converted and become a new creature, that is in the Lord's hands for the future, but for now your path is to walk steadily with Christ, your mind stayed on Him, trusting Him to guard both you and yours in His keeping until earthly struggles cease and He calls you to Heaven's perfect peace.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing this so honestly and for seeking prayer in a painful and confusing time. Your sorrow is understandable. To still love someone while knowing you had to step away, and then to be contacted again when you had found some stability, would disturb anyone's peace.
What you describe about being unequally yoked and about sexual sin is important to name clearly. Scripture teaches that salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, with sexual intimacy belonging only within that covenant. To pursue purity is not cruelty, it is love for God and for the other person. Your decision to end the relationship for that reason and to cut off contact now is wise and right, even though it hurts.
Peace is spoken of often in Scripture, and it helps to understand what kind of peace God gives. There is a peace that comes from God ruling in the heart, steady and firm, and there is a kind of human peace that is only external and can actually be harmful if it keeps us in what is not good for us. True peace is called the mother of all good things and the foundation of joy, and those who make that kind of peace are called children of God. But agreement is not always good. Even those who do wrong can agree together, and that kind of false peace is more grievous than open conflict. At times, just as a physician must remove what is diseased to preserve the health of the whole body, separation is necessary. That is not hatred, it is care for holiness. Scripture says to follow peace with all people and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord. Cutting off contact when a relationship draws you away from obedience is part of pursuing that holiness and that true peace.
It is also understandable that you feel like a horrible heartbreaker and that you worry God is punishing him with terrible problems because the relationship was not in God's will and because he tried to draw you into sexual sin. God does discipline and He does allow affliction, but we should be careful not to assume every hardship is a direct punishment from Him for a specific sin. The word evil in Scripture is sometimes used to mean affliction or calamity that God permits, not that God is creating wickedness in a person. God is not the author of wickedness. He is holy and He calls all people to repentance. Your ex is responsible for his own choices, just as you are for yours. You can trust God's justice and His mercy without carrying the burden of thinking you caused his sufferings or that you must fix them by returning to what was not right.
You did what love requires by speaking the gospel to him. You are right that only the Holy Spirit can open eyes that are hardened. Through Christ, God Himself came to preach peace to those who were far off and to those who were near, and through Him we have access to the Father. That same Christ is the one your ex needs, not simply more information from you. Having shared the truth, the most loving thing now is to entrust him to God in prayer, to not reopen a door that tempts you both, and to keep the boundary you have set. Love does not mean keeping contact that pulls you back into compromise or confusion. Sometimes the struggle in the heart is between wanting to respond and wanting to endure in obedience, and in that wrestling we ask the peace of God to rule as judge, to give the prize to endurance and to quiet the other voice.
We will pray for you.
Father, we thank You for this sister who wants to honor You. We ask You to guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus with the peace that passes all understanding, the peace You give that the world cannot give. Heal the hurt and guilt she carries, and assure her that to obey You in purity and in not being unequally yoked is good and pleasing to You. Strengthen her to remain steadfast, to walk in holiness, and to find her joy and security in You. We pray for her former boyfriend, that You would have mercy on him and bring him to salvation through Jesus Christ alone, that his heart would be softened, his eyes opened, and that he would turn to You in repentance and faith. Keep her from temptation and from false peace, and build her up as part of Your household, firm on the foundation of Christ. In Jesus name, Amen.
Stay in fellowship, in the Word, and with trusted believers who can support you in keeping these boundaries. If he contacts you again, it is wise to keep distance and not engage beyond what is necessary. God sees your faithfulness and He is able to keep you in His perfect peace as you continue to follow Him.
What you describe about being unequally yoked and about sexual sin is important to name clearly. Scripture teaches that salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, with sexual intimacy belonging only within that covenant. To pursue purity is not cruelty, it is love for God and for the other person. Your decision to end the relationship for that reason and to cut off contact now is wise and right, even though it hurts.
Peace is spoken of often in Scripture, and it helps to understand what kind of peace God gives. There is a peace that comes from God ruling in the heart, steady and firm, and there is a kind of human peace that is only external and can actually be harmful if it keeps us in what is not good for us. True peace is called the mother of all good things and the foundation of joy, and those who make that kind of peace are called children of God. But agreement is not always good. Even those who do wrong can agree together, and that kind of false peace is more grievous than open conflict. At times, just as a physician must remove what is diseased to preserve the health of the whole body, separation is necessary. That is not hatred, it is care for holiness. Scripture says to follow peace with all people and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord. Cutting off contact when a relationship draws you away from obedience is part of pursuing that holiness and that true peace.
It is also understandable that you feel like a horrible heartbreaker and that you worry God is punishing him with terrible problems because the relationship was not in God's will and because he tried to draw you into sexual sin. God does discipline and He does allow affliction, but we should be careful not to assume every hardship is a direct punishment from Him for a specific sin. The word evil in Scripture is sometimes used to mean affliction or calamity that God permits, not that God is creating wickedness in a person. God is not the author of wickedness. He is holy and He calls all people to repentance. Your ex is responsible for his own choices, just as you are for yours. You can trust God's justice and His mercy without carrying the burden of thinking you caused his sufferings or that you must fix them by returning to what was not right.
You did what love requires by speaking the gospel to him. You are right that only the Holy Spirit can open eyes that are hardened. Through Christ, God Himself came to preach peace to those who were far off and to those who were near, and through Him we have access to the Father. That same Christ is the one your ex needs, not simply more information from you. Having shared the truth, the most loving thing now is to entrust him to God in prayer, to not reopen a door that tempts you both, and to keep the boundary you have set. Love does not mean keeping contact that pulls you back into compromise or confusion. Sometimes the struggle in the heart is between wanting to respond and wanting to endure in obedience, and in that wrestling we ask the peace of God to rule as judge, to give the prize to endurance and to quiet the other voice.
We will pray for you.
Father, we thank You for this sister who wants to honor You. We ask You to guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus with the peace that passes all understanding, the peace You give that the world cannot give. Heal the hurt and guilt she carries, and assure her that to obey You in purity and in not being unequally yoked is good and pleasing to You. Strengthen her to remain steadfast, to walk in holiness, and to find her joy and security in You. We pray for her former boyfriend, that You would have mercy on him and bring him to salvation through Jesus Christ alone, that his heart would be softened, his eyes opened, and that he would turn to You in repentance and faith. Keep her from temptation and from false peace, and build her up as part of Your household, firm on the foundation of Christ. In Jesus name, Amen.
Stay in fellowship, in the Word, and with trusted believers who can support you in keeping these boundaries. If he contacts you again, it is wise to keep distance and not engage beyond what is necessary. God sees your faithfulness and He is able to keep you in His perfect peace as you continue to follow Him.
Similar Requests
Please pray for me about my ex popping up recently and randomly contacting me and disturbing my peace when I was in a good place after our breakup. I cut off contact with ### now. Thank you.
My ex who I broke up with because he is not a Christian and we were unequally yoked (I dated him out of disobedience; I knew we were not equally yoked) randomly contacted me last night and I spoke with him throughout the day today. Please pray for my healing from any confusion and harm it caused...
My ex who I have posted about before that I broke up with because we are unequally yoked (he's not a Christian and I knew he wasn't when we started dating but I was being rebellious and did it anyway) randomly contacted me last night after not speaking to me for a month or so when I broke up...
