Ex

[Dhitlor]

My ex who I have posted about before that I broke up with because we are unequally yoked (he's not a Christian and I knew he wasn't when we started dating but I was being rebellious and did it anyway) randomly contacted me last night after not speaking to me for a month or so when I broke up with him. I responded because I always wanted to end things amicably with him and promised to be there for him if he ever needed it (especially because he has a lot of health problems including cancer that he told me last night was confirmed after we broke up; when we were still together, he was starting to have symptoms). It really seems he's just reaching out to try to make me come back to him which I know God does not want. It's been made very, very clear that whether he intentionally means to be or not, he came into my life as a distraction from Satan. After talking with him for a day or so, I now doubt whether we can really be friends (and I started to doubt we could be so a few weeks ago when I really thought about it objectively). He really doesn't seem able to just be friends with me and I'm worried about that affecting his health as well right now. I don't want to cut off contact with him when I promised to be there but this doesn't look like a healthy situation and I have brought this up to him. Please pray. Thank you.

 

[Articles]

We thank you for sharing this with us so honestly and we praise God for your obedience in ending a relationship that you knew was unequally yoked. It takes courage and humility to recognize rebellion and then turn from it, and we rejoice that you did. We see your compassionate heart toward your ex and your desire to keep a promise, but we also share your discernment that this situation is not healthy and is pulling you away from God's best for you.

Scripture is very clear about this principle, Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. This does not only apply to marriage but to the courtship that leads to marriage. As believers we are to pursue courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman that honors God. When we enter a romantic relationship with an unbeliever, even with good intentions, we open our hearts to compromise and distraction, and as you wisely discerned, the enemy can use that to draw us away from the Lord. We are also told Don’t be deceived. Evil companionships corrupt good morals. 1 Corinthians 15:33 and Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23.

We understand the weight you feel because you promised to be there for him, especially now with his serious health problems including cancer, and we do not take that lightly. God cares deeply about vows, but our highest loyalty must always be to Him and to His Word. A promise to remain entangled in a way that tempts you back into an unequally yoked relationship or blurs emotional boundaries cannot override obedience to God. You are not responsible for his health or for his emotional response if you set godly boundaries. You can show Christlike compassion without remaining his primary confidant or daily support. It is wise and loving to step back, to make it clear that you cannot be just friends if he is hoping for reconciliation, and to entrust his care to his family, friends, medical team, and above all to the Lord. If you do have any further contact, we encourage you to keep it brief, clear, and not in private ongoing conversation, and to seek counsel from a mature believer or pastor who can help you maintain those boundaries. Your role now is to pray for him, not to be his caretaker in a way that jeopardizes your own walk.

We also noticed that you spoke of God but did not mention Jesus Christ in your request, and we want to gently remind you of this vital truth because it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. If you have placed your faith in Jesus, that you believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead and confess Him as Lord, you are saved and you can come boldly before God in prayer Romans 10:9. It is in Jesus' name that we pray for you and for your ex, and we encourage you to always approach God through Jesus, for He is our mediator and our hope, both for you and for your ex who does not yet know Him.

We pray together for you now.

Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, thanking You for our sister's repentant heart and her desire to obey You even when it is painful. Lord, give her wisdom that comes from above as she navigates these boundaries, for You have promised If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him. James 1:5. Guard her heart, strengthen her to stand firm against the temptation to return to what You have called her out of, and help her to trust that Your plan for a godly marriage to a believing husband in Your timing is far better than any distraction. Heal her from any guilt or confusion about this promise, and help her to release this man into Your hands. Lord, we also lift this young man to You. You see his suffering and his cancer diagnosis, and we ask for Your mercy upon his body. More than physical healing, we pray for the healing of his soul, that this trial would open his eyes to his need for Jesus, that he would seek You and find salvation. Comfort him, provide for his care through appropriate people, and draw him to Yourself. Give our sister peace that passes understanding as she walks in obedience, and surround her with godly counsel and community. We ask all these things in the mighty and saving name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how torn you feel in this. You ended the relationship for the right reasons, you care about him especially with this difficult health news, and now you are carrying both compassion and a growing sense that staying in close contact is pulling you back into something God has shown you is not healthy. That tension is heavy.

What you are noticing about friendship makes sense. A boundary is simply a property line that helps us know what we are responsible for and what belongs to someone else. That includes our time, energy, and choices. When two people can be connected and still freely say yes or no, freedom is preserved. When one person cannot hear a no or keeps hoping friendship will turn back into romance, the line has blurred and it is not unkind to name that.

You made a caring promise to be there, but you are not responsible for his health or his response to a boundary. Loving him now may look like being clear and kind rather than staying available for daily conversation.

One next step that often helps is to decide ahead of time, with a trusted pastor or mature friend, what contact you can offer with peace. For many in this spot that is a brief, kind message that thanks him for sharing the health update, encourages him toward his doctors and support people, and clearly states you will not continue one on one daily contact. Then keep that limit, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Father, we lift this sister to You and ask for wisdom and steadiness as she walks this out. Comfort her heart where she feels guilty, guard her steps, and place supportive people around both her and her former boyfriend as he faces health challenges. Give her clarity to do what is loving and responsible before You. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Spurgeon]

Your request has been read with prayer and with thankfulness for the honesty with which you have set your case before the Lord. It is a mercy that you have seen the unequally yoked path for what it is, and that you obeyed the precept, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. To break the yoke of wood is painful to the heart, yet to take it again is to wear a yoke of iron. You thought the yoke of Christ hard when it called you to turn from a relationship that was not according to His will. Do not now prove by returning how much harder is the yoke of disobedience.

You discern rightly that this contact has come as a temptation and a trial. All temptation is trial from the hand of God, yet temptation in itself is dangerous and we are taught to pray, Lead us not into temptation. That prayer is not sincere if we then go straight into the place where temptation is to be found. The man who prays Lead us not into temptation and then goes into it is a liar before God. You need not ask the Lord not to lead you there if you choose to walk there yourself. God had one Son without sin, but He never had a son without temptation, and the greatest distance from the world will not keep us from it, yet we have no right to go voluntarily where we are surrounded by it.

You promised to be there for this man, and your compassion for him in his cancer and other afflictions is Christlike. Yet no promise to man can bind you to disobey Christ. There is a proper way to escape from a temptation, and there are many improper ways. Woe to the man who takes an improper way. The Lord promises that with the temptation He will also make the way to escape. That way is not to maintain a close and private friendship which you already perceive cannot remain merely friendship. When he looks for his yokefellow and would have you adjust your neck to his yoke again, you will only distress your own soul and hinder his.

It is right to doubt whether you can be friends in the sense you once hoped. A temptation may come though you hate it, and though you pray against it, it may cloud your joy and put a yoke upon your neck for years if you do not flee it. There is nothing praiseworthy in the temptation itself, for that is evil, but there is praise if you resist it. Your temptation is common to man, and many saints have been tempted in all points like as you are, and have been kept. Keep clear of the sin of the temptation and you need not fear the sorrow of it. If the trial drives you to your knees, it will become a blessing to you.

Do not bitterly condemn yourself for having entered this unequally yoked relationship in rebellion, and do not bitterly condemn him. Remember yourself, lest you also be tempted, and pray again, Lead us not into temptation. But now you must not go into temptation. Love for this man is best shown not by daily private talk which he hopes will draw you back, but by entrusting him to God, by praying for his soul and his body, and by letting any necessary kindness come through proper and guarded means, perhaps through your pastor or a mature believer, and not through an intimacy that rekindles what God has called you to forsake. To cut off or to strictly limit contact is not unkindness when it is obedience. It is the way to escape which God provides.

We will pray for you, that the Lord will keep your garments unstained, that you will stand fast, and that you will find His yoke easy and His burden light as you walk in His way. We will pray also for this man, not that God would bless a union which Scripture forbids, but that God would have mercy upon him, that He would bring him to salvation through Jesus Christ alone, who is the only way of salvation, and that He would deal graciously with his body according to His perfect will. We will pray that the Lord will give you wisdom, a watchful heart, and the counsel of godly friends in your church who can hold you accountable, so that you do not slip nor slide.

May the Lord keep you from the mischief of the temptation. Let the trial do you no hurt, but make you more watchful, more prayerful, and more wholly the Lord's.