My ex who I broke up with because he is not a Christian and we were unequally yoked (I dated him out of disobedience; I knew we were not equally yoked) randomly contacted me last night and I spoke with him throughout the day today. Please pray for my healing from any confusion and harm it caused me because the relationship was emotionally and psychologically abusive and he was manipulative today when we spoke. I think he has emotional/behavioral problems that cause him to be that way. I tried to keep in touch with him because I wanted to end things amicably and said I'd always be there for him and I also wanted to evangelize to him if given the opportunity but my trying to witness to him fell on deaf ears today and I think cutting off contact is the best thing to do. Please pray. Please also pray for his health as he has cancer. Thank you.
Ex
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We thank you for your honesty and humility in sharing this with us and we praise God for your obedience in ending a relationship that was unequally yoked. You did the right thing, even though it was difficult, and the Lord honors a heart that turns back to Him in repentance. For what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. Your desire to honor God in your relationships is pleasing to Him, and we encourage you to continue to guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23.
We also hear your pain and confusion from the contact with your ex and we want to affirm your discernment. An emotionally and psychologically abusive and manipulative relationship is not of God, and it is wise and biblical to set firm boundaries and to cut off contact when that contact brings harm and confusion. Do not be deceived. Evil companionships corrupt good morals. 1 Corinthians 15:33. While your heart to end things amicably and to evangelize to him is compassionate, we cannot remain in harmful entanglements in order to witness, especially when that witness has fallen on deaf ears and is used as an opportunity for manipulation. The Lord does not call you to be his emotional support at the expense of your own safety and peace. We encourage you to forgive him as Christ has forgiven us, but forgiveness does not require ongoing contact or returning to a yoke that God has called you out of. We encourage you to seek wise counsel and support from mature believers and pastoral leadership in your local church as you walk through this healing, and to keep your future courtship focused on seeking a godly spouse, a fellow believer in Christ, with marriage as the goal that honors God.
We also noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that our prayers are heard. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9.
We are praying together for your complete healing and for him as well. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 and He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3. Jesus invites you, Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28.
We pray together, Father in heaven, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You and we lift up our sister to You. We thank You for her repentant heart and for giving her the courage to walk away from what was not Your will. We ask You to heal her from all confusion, harm, and lingering wounds from this emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship. Wash away the lies and manipulation she has endured, renew her mind with Your truth, and give her Your perfect peace that surpasses all understanding. Help her to walk in firm, godly boundaries and give her strength to keep contact closed if that is what is needed to protect her heart and her walk with You. Surround her with godly counsel, fellowship, and protection. We also lift up this man to You, Lord. You know his health and his battle with cancer. We ask for Your mercy upon him, that You would touch his body according to Your will, and more importantly that You would touch his soul. Open his eyes to see his need for Jesus, soften his heart that has been deaf to the gospel, and bring him to saving faith through Your Holy Spirit before it is too late. Let no manipulation or emotional brokenness keep him from Your grace. We ask all of this in the mighty and only saving name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, Amen.
We also hear your pain and confusion from the contact with your ex and we want to affirm your discernment. An emotionally and psychologically abusive and manipulative relationship is not of God, and it is wise and biblical to set firm boundaries and to cut off contact when that contact brings harm and confusion. Do not be deceived. Evil companionships corrupt good morals. 1 Corinthians 15:33. While your heart to end things amicably and to evangelize to him is compassionate, we cannot remain in harmful entanglements in order to witness, especially when that witness has fallen on deaf ears and is used as an opportunity for manipulation. The Lord does not call you to be his emotional support at the expense of your own safety and peace. We encourage you to forgive him as Christ has forgiven us, but forgiveness does not require ongoing contact or returning to a yoke that God has called you out of. We encourage you to seek wise counsel and support from mature believers and pastoral leadership in your local church as you walk through this healing, and to keep your future courtship focused on seeking a godly spouse, a fellow believer in Christ, with marriage as the goal that honors God.
We also noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that our prayers are heard. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9.
We are praying together for your complete healing and for him as well. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 and He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3. Jesus invites you, Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28.
We pray together, Father in heaven, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You and we lift up our sister to You. We thank You for her repentant heart and for giving her the courage to walk away from what was not Your will. We ask You to heal her from all confusion, harm, and lingering wounds from this emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship. Wash away the lies and manipulation she has endured, renew her mind with Your truth, and give her Your perfect peace that surpasses all understanding. Help her to walk in firm, godly boundaries and give her strength to keep contact closed if that is what is needed to protect her heart and her walk with You. Surround her with godly counsel, fellowship, and protection. We also lift up this man to You, Lord. You know his health and his battle with cancer. We ask for Your mercy upon him, that You would touch his body according to Your will, and more importantly that You would touch his soul. Open his eyes to see his need for Jesus, soften his heart that has been deaf to the gospel, and bring him to saving faith through Your Holy Spirit before it is too late. Let no manipulation or emotional brokenness keep him from Your grace. We ask all of this in the mighty and only saving name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, Amen.
We're so glad you reached out, and thank you for being honest about how painful yesterday was. It makes complete sense that hearing from him again would stir up confusion, even when you know the relationship hurt you and was not right before God. Wanting to end things kindly and hoping he might listen about Jesus comes from a good heart, and it is also painful when that hope meets manipulation or deaf ears.
Choosing to step back from contact now sounds like a wise and protective decision for you. Healing from emotional and psychological harm often takes time, and distance can give your mind and heart space to settle and regain clarity.
One thing that helps many people in this spot is to make a simple plan ahead of time for if he reaches out again, for example not answering, filtering his number or messages, and letting a trusted friend or pastor know so you are not carrying the decision alone. If you notice the confusion, anxiety or low mood lingering, it can also help to talk with a pastor or counselor you trust, alongside prayer.
We are praying for your peace and restoration, and we are also praying for him in his illness.
Father, we bring our sister to You and ask for Your healing over the confusion and hurt she is carrying. Quiet her heart, restore her confidence in You, and surround her with wise support as she keeps healthy boundaries. We also lift this man to You in his cancer, asking for Your mercy, care and drawing near to him. Lead both according to Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.
Choosing to step back from contact now sounds like a wise and protective decision for you. Healing from emotional and psychological harm often takes time, and distance can give your mind and heart space to settle and regain clarity.
One thing that helps many people in this spot is to make a simple plan ahead of time for if he reaches out again, for example not answering, filtering his number or messages, and letting a trusted friend or pastor know so you are not carrying the decision alone. If you notice the confusion, anxiety or low mood lingering, it can also help to talk with a pastor or counselor you trust, alongside prayer.
We are praying for your peace and restoration, and we are also praying for him in his illness.
Father, we bring our sister to You and ask for Your healing over the confusion and hurt she is carrying. Quiet her heart, restore her confidence in You, and surround her with wise support as she keeps healthy boundaries. We also lift this man to You in his cancer, asking for Your mercy, care and drawing near to him. Lead both according to Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.
EnricoLange
Beloved of All
Praying for this in Jesus Name.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your request has been heard and brought before the Lord with care and with sorrow for the confusion and harm you have borne. You have done well to turn from a yoke which Scripture forbids, for we are told, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. You thought the yoke of Christ hard when that precept pressed upon you, yet you have found by experience that to reject it brings a heavier yoke still. In obedience you stepped away from disobedience, and that obedience, though painful, is the path of healing.
There is abundant healing power in Jesus Christ and His salvation. Not only is His fruit sweet and nourishing, but the leaves, the little things as it were about Christ, are full of healing virtue. The least thing about Christ is healing, and these healing leaves change the life blood, affect the spirits and make the nature other than it was before. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. When the heart has been bruised by manipulation and by words that confuse and control, we very speedily care for bodily diseases, but the wound of the spirit needs the Great Physician even more. Healing and forgiveness are placed in happy conjunction, and both are bestowed on the Lord's people. When Jesus healed the sick of the palsy He said, Son, be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee, and pardon and healing were one. So we look to Him not only for pardon for our own past disobedience in entering that unequally yoked path, but for the healing of the confusion and the ache that remains after it.
It is wise and right that you discern the need to cut off contact. To desire to end things amicably and to hope for his salvation is a Christian impulse, yet when speaking with him brings renewed manipulation and harm, and when your witness falls on deaf ears, to withdraw is not unkindness but stewardship of the heart God is healing. Healing must come before serving. When a person is lying sick of a fever, we do not ask her to rise and wait upon others. Christ must first take us by the hand and lift us up. You cannot be his evangelist at the cost of being again entangled and wounded. Commit his soul to the Lord who is able to save, and let your distance be a guard for your healing.
We will pray for you, that the Sun of Righteousness may rise upon you with healing in His wings, that the Lord who dwells with His people would so fill your thoughts with His Word and His presence that you have no need to say you are sick with confusion or fear, that He would purge every evil effect of that abusive fellowship and make your nature fresh and whole again through the virtue that flows from Christ. We will pray that you be kept in the teaching of Christ, for faith comes by hearing and healing is linked with teaching, and that you walk closely with faithful believers who can watch over you and counsel you in this season.
We will also pray for this man, that in his affliction of cancer the Lord would have mercy upon his body according to His sovereign will, and far more that He would have mercy upon his soul. We will not ask God to bless or restore a relationship which His Word calls unequally yoked, but we will ask that God would bring this man to see his need of a Savior, that he might be forgiven and healed in the deepest sense, for who is going the other way should consider his way, retrace his steps and seek his God who in Christ Jesus can heal him. May the Lord who is mighty to save grant him repentance and life, if it be His will.
Seek the Lord daily in prayer and in the Scriptures, remain under the care of your local church, and if the effects of the abuse linger, seek wise and godly counsel to help you walk in safety and wholeness. Welcome, as one who has turned to Christ in obedience, to pardon and healing through our Lord Jesus.
There is abundant healing power in Jesus Christ and His salvation. Not only is His fruit sweet and nourishing, but the leaves, the little things as it were about Christ, are full of healing virtue. The least thing about Christ is healing, and these healing leaves change the life blood, affect the spirits and make the nature other than it was before. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. When the heart has been bruised by manipulation and by words that confuse and control, we very speedily care for bodily diseases, but the wound of the spirit needs the Great Physician even more. Healing and forgiveness are placed in happy conjunction, and both are bestowed on the Lord's people. When Jesus healed the sick of the palsy He said, Son, be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee, and pardon and healing were one. So we look to Him not only for pardon for our own past disobedience in entering that unequally yoked path, but for the healing of the confusion and the ache that remains after it.
It is wise and right that you discern the need to cut off contact. To desire to end things amicably and to hope for his salvation is a Christian impulse, yet when speaking with him brings renewed manipulation and harm, and when your witness falls on deaf ears, to withdraw is not unkindness but stewardship of the heart God is healing. Healing must come before serving. When a person is lying sick of a fever, we do not ask her to rise and wait upon others. Christ must first take us by the hand and lift us up. You cannot be his evangelist at the cost of being again entangled and wounded. Commit his soul to the Lord who is able to save, and let your distance be a guard for your healing.
We will pray for you, that the Sun of Righteousness may rise upon you with healing in His wings, that the Lord who dwells with His people would so fill your thoughts with His Word and His presence that you have no need to say you are sick with confusion or fear, that He would purge every evil effect of that abusive fellowship and make your nature fresh and whole again through the virtue that flows from Christ. We will pray that you be kept in the teaching of Christ, for faith comes by hearing and healing is linked with teaching, and that you walk closely with faithful believers who can watch over you and counsel you in this season.
We will also pray for this man, that in his affliction of cancer the Lord would have mercy upon his body according to His sovereign will, and far more that He would have mercy upon his soul. We will not ask God to bless or restore a relationship which His Word calls unequally yoked, but we will ask that God would bring this man to see his need of a Savior, that he might be forgiven and healed in the deepest sense, for who is going the other way should consider his way, retrace his steps and seek his God who in Christ Jesus can heal him. May the Lord who is mighty to save grant him repentance and life, if it be His will.
Seek the Lord daily in prayer and in the Scriptures, remain under the care of your local church, and if the effects of the abuse linger, seek wise and godly counsel to help you walk in safety and wholeness. Welcome, as one who has turned to Christ in obedience, to pardon and healing through our Lord Jesus.
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