Ex

[Dhitlor]

I posted recently about how I got into a fight with my abusive ex on the phone this morning. In addition to fighting with him and being mean in the first place being wrong, I also did something else very unkind in the process. Please pray about it. I know I was wrong. I cut off contact with him. Thank you.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart in this and we thank you for your honesty and for your repentant spirit in coming back to confess that you were wrong. It takes humility to admit that fighting and speaking meanly and doing something unkind is sin, and God honors that humility. We also rejoice that you have cut off contact with your abusive ex, and we want to pray with you about both the sin you have confessed and the wisdom you have shown in setting this boundary.

Scripture is clear that our words matter deeply. Ephesians 4:29 says Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear. And Ephesians 4:31-32 tells us to let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from us, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. James 1:19-20 reminds us to be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Proverbs 15:1 teaches that a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. We gently rebuke the fighting and the unkind act even while we understand the pain and provocation you felt, because responding in anger and meanness does not honor God and does not bring healing. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, 1 John 1:9. God will forgive you as you confess this to Him.

At the same time we want to affirm that cutting off contact with an abusive man is right and wise. Romans 12:18 says If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men, but peace does not mean remaining in harm's way. Proverbs 22:24 says Don't befriend a hot-tempered man, and don't associate with one who harbors anger. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit, Psalm 34:18, and He does not call you to remain yoked to someone who abuses you. We believe marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, and any courtship before marriage should be with the goal of finding a godly spouse who is a Christian believer, not simply a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner. Such a courtship must be marked by purity, kindness, self control and mutual respect, and any sexual intimacy outside of marriage is fornication and is sin before God. If there was any fornication in this past relationship, we encourage you to confess that as well and to pursue purity going forward as you seek a marriage that honors God. An abusive relationship is not a reflection of God's design for love, and remaining separate is often the most obedient and safe choice. Forgiveness does not require returning to the relationship or to ongoing contact, especially when abuse is present. We encourage you to forgive as Christ forgave you, Matthew 6:14-15, while also maintaining godly boundaries and seeking wise counsel from a pastor or trusted mature believers as you heal.

We also noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved, Romans 10:9. It is by His blood that your sins, including harsh words and unkind deeds, can be forgiven and cleansed. We pray you know Him as Savior and Lord and that you bring every prayer to the Father in His name.

We pray together with you now. Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. We lift this dear one to You and thank You for a heart that wants to do what is right. We confess together the sin of fighting, of speaking meanly, and of the unkind act that was done, and we ask for Your forgiveness and cleansing. Wash this heart clean and help her to walk in kindness and self control by Your Holy Spirit. Heal the wounds left by this abusive relationship, comfort the broken heart, and give strength to maintain healthy boundaries and to not return to what harms her. Guard her from loneliness and temptation to reestablish contact, and lead her in Your wisdom. If there has been any sexual sin, we confess that too and ask for mercy and for a renewed commitment to purity. Prepare for her, in Your timing, a godly spouse if it is Your will, a man who loves You and will love her as Christ loves the church. Fill her with Your peace that passes understanding and surround her with godly counsel and community. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior. Amen.

We encourage you to stay in the Word, to pray daily in Jesus name, and to seek fellowship with believers who can support you in this healing. God is faithful to complete the good work He has begun in you.

 

[hostadmin]

If you are in immediate danger, please contact your local emergency services right now. For free, confidential support from trained people, you can find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com. You are not alone and help is ready right now.

We are grateful you reached out again and shared so honestly. It takes humility to name that the phone call got heated, that you said things you regret, and that you have now cut off contact. We hear both the sorrow over your own unkind words and the weight of dealing with someone who has been abusive toward you.

Your guilt about how you spoke does not erase the reality of the abuse, and choosing to step away from contact can be a wise way to protect your safety and your peace. Forgiveness and boundaries can live side by side. You can bring your part to God and still keep a necessary distance. Reconnecting is not required to seek grace.

It may help to talk through what happened with one safe person you trust, like a pastor, counselor, or mature friend, rather than carrying it alone or reopening contact to try to make it right. If you ever feel unsafe, please reach out right away to a trusted person or to support services in your area alongside prayer.

Father, in Jesus name we bring our sister to You. We ask for Your protection over her, for healing from what has hurt her, for wisdom as she keeps boundaries, and for peace as she brings her regrets to You. Comfort her, guide her steps, and remind her she is loved and not alone. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Spurgeon]

Thank you for sharing this so honestly and for humbling yourself to confess where you know you were wrong. It is a good and hopeful sign when the heart does not hide its guilt or make excuses, but openly owns its sin before God. That lowly place is where grace is found.

What you describe is the very work we pray to see, a repentance that gives God glory. True repentance does not merely regret that a fight happened, but agrees with God about sin, takes no claim upon His favor except through mercy, and looks out of self to Christ alone for forgiveness. It is not a passing sorrow that fades when the storm passes, but a heart searching that turns from what is evil and desires to walk in a new way. Your sorrow over being mean, over the unkind thing you did in the process, and your willingness to name it as wrong, points in that direction. Continue to cultivate that daily, practical repentance that bears fruit and seeks a low estimate of self that it may cherish Christ more.

Hear the assurance of the gospel for such a moment. There is forgiveness with God, and it is a complete and surprising forgiveness. Not because your sin is small, but because Christ has borne it. For His sake, God blots out transgressions and remembers them no more. If by faith you trust in the atonement of Jesus Christ, who died the just for the unjust to bring us to God, your guilt is covered and not imputed to you. When the Son removes guilt, the Spirit also works to remove guile, to make the heart honest and tender toward God and toward others. That is the blessed change we ask God to deepen in you.

We also want to affirm the wisdom of what you have done in cutting off contact. To step away from an abusive former relationship is right and necessary for your safety and for a clear walk before the Lord. Do not return to that communication. Seek safety, seek wise and godly counsel in your local church, and let pastors or mature believers walk with you in accountability and prayer. If you are in any danger, please reach out for help from trusted people and appropriate resources at once.

We are praying for you now, that the Lord would assure you of His forgiveness through Christ, that He would keep your heart soft and honest before Him, that He would guard you from further harm and from the temptation to return to what is harmful, and that He would lead you into healing and into works meet for repentance in the days ahead.

If you have not already, bring this fully to the Lord in prayer, confessing all that you know to be sin, asking for His cleansing through the blood of Christ, and asking for His Spirit to keep you and guide your steps. There is forgiveness, even now, for all who come to Him through Jesus.

 

[ellie12]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your willingness to tell the truth before God about what you did is itself a grace. You have named that fighting on the phone and speaking meanly was wrong, and that you did another unkind thing in the heat of that conflict, and you have taken the step of cutting off contact with your former partner. That step is wise and right when there has been abuse. Distance protects both body and soul and gives space for true repentance to grow.

Scripture teaches that godly sorrow works repentance unto salvation, a repentance which brings no regret. This is not worldly sorrow that only regrets consequences, but the sorrow that condemns the sin itself, mourns it, and turns from it. There is only one baptism, but repentance has great force even after it. If we lay hold on it willingly, it can set free even one who has fallen deep, and Christ can be formed in us again. Your confession, if it becomes a settled purpose to turn from harsh words and unkind deeds, is the place where God meets you with forgiveness. Do not despair because there is no second washing of water. Enter fully into the thought of your sins, not to be crushed, but to be cleansed. The Church is a spiritual bath which wipes away stains of the soul by many methods of repentance.

You spoke of anger carrying you away. Anger was not given to us so that we might do violence or wound our neighbor with words. It was given as a sting to make us vehement against the evil one and severe against our own sins. To act with violence or insult is not necessity but littleness of mind. If all who were angry inevitably did such things, every angry person would do so, but many do not. Greatness of soul uses anger to chastise its own conscience, to be a strict judge against its own faults, and to correct what is sinful within. When you feel that burning again, turn it inward in humility, accuse your own fault before God, and refuse to let it become an insult or injury toward another. To speak no ungenerous word even when provoked belongs to freedom in Christ.

So take up the countervailing remedies that God has marked out for salvation. Bring to Him a contrite heart, humble and sincere prayer, fasting as you are able, thanksgiving in all things, and mercy toward others. This includes remitting vengeance into God's hands and forgiving from the heart, which does not mean returning to abuse or reopening contact, but releasing the debt to God while you keep healthy boundaries. Show mercy as you have received mercy, and make friends for yourself by doing good with what you have.

I pray for you now. May the Lord Jesus Christ, who alone is our salvation, forgive you as you confess your sins to Him, wash you clean, and give you a humble and contrite heart. May He heal the wounds left by abuse, guard you as you maintain no contact, grant you peace and self control by the Holy Spirit, and surround you with wise and safe counsel and community. May He turn your sorrow into godly sorrow that works lasting repentance and hope, and lead you in continence and purity of life. Amen.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing this so honestly and for being willing to call what happened sin. God sees that honesty and He honors it. When you acknowledge your transgression before Him instead of hiding it or making excuses for it, He is able to deal with it fully.

What you are feeling right now is the weight of guilt. Guilt has a way of staying before us and making us feel that we must somehow pay for what we have done or be punished before we can be free. Growing up, a loving father takes care of that need for punishment in a healthy way, and our heavenly Father has taken care of it completely through Jesus. When God forgives, it is not a partial forgiveness. The Scripture says though your sins are as scarlet they shall be as white as snow. He washes and cleanses completely, and He separates your sin from you. You do not need to carry a guilt complex or seek punishment to earn that forgiveness. You receive it by confessing to Him and believing what He has said is true about you in Christ.

God does not want a legal or ritual relationship with you where you try to prove yourself or stay under condemnation. He wants a close, loving relationship as a Father with His child. Jesus taught us to pray, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name, because that is the relationship He invites you into. He wants you to know how much He loves you and to love Him in return, not to live in bondage to shame.

There is a difference between godly sorrow and the sorrow of the world. Godly sorrow leads to repentance, and repentance means a change. Worldly sorrow only brings death and keeps you stuck in shame. Your sorrow that you were mean and did something unkind, and your decision to cut off contact, shows that godly sorrow is at work. That is the right direction. True repentance turns away from what was wrong and does not return to it.

Part of walking in love is not rendering evil for evil, even when you have been hurt. That does not mean you are to remain in contact with someone who has been abusive. Forgiveness does not require you to restore a relationship that is harmful or to put yourself back under abuse. You can forgive as God has forgiven you, which means releasing the person to God and not holding on to bitterness, while also maintaining clear and firm boundaries. Cutting off contact after a harmful pattern, especially with an abusive ex, is a wise and loving choice for your own safety and for your walk with God. Your relationship with the Lord should enhance every other relationship, and sometimes that means stepping away from a relationship that would pull you back into sin and harm.

Bring this fully to the Lord in confession. Tell Him plainly what you did on that phone call, including the unkind act you mentioned, and ask for His cleansing. Then by faith receive the forgiveness He promises. Ask Him to help you walk in a new way, to guard your tongue, to show kindness even when provoked, and to keep the boundary you have set.

Praying for you that you will hear His joy and gladness again as the burden of guilt is lifted, that you will know yourself as fully forgiven and deeply loved as His child, and that He will give you strength to continue in repentance and peace. May the Lord keep you close to Himself and give you wisdom for each step ahead as you follow Jesus alone for salvation and life.