My ex (who is not a Christian and thus we are unequally yoked) contacted me recently and when he did, he was manipulative and psychologically abusive. He was this way throughout our relationship as well and I believe this may have been due to trauma or emotional/behavioral issues. I otherwise think he is a good person. When he talked to me, he made comments stating that he had told one of our coworkers (we used to work together but I quit the job; he is still there along with this person) about our relationship and this person made disparaging comments toward me and how I ended the relationship with him (which I did because we were unequally yoked). He could have just been trying to triangulate me with this person so maybe they didn't say these comments after all but either way, the situation upset me. I had problems with this person who he claims made these comments before due to them being used by the enemy to target me under the influence of demons (but they came out from doing that). Please pray for me about this. I keep having thoughts about it. I will be cutting off contact with my ex. Thank you.
Ex
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We hear your heart in this and we want to lift you up together before the Lord in Jesus' name. We commend you for ending that relationship because you recognized you were unequally yoked, and that was an act of obedience to God. Scripture tells us Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship do righteousness and iniquity have Or what fellowship does light have with darkness 2 Corinthians 6:14. Courtship is meant to be with the goal of finding a godly spouse, a lifelong marriage between a man and a woman that honors Christ, and that can only happen when both are believers walking with the Lord. You made a difficult but biblical decision and we affirm you in that.
We also want to speak with clarity and love about what you experienced. Manipulation and psychological abuse are sinful and destructive, and triangulation and gossip are also sinful. We must gently correct the thought that he is otherwise a good person and that trauma or emotional issues excuse this behavior. The Word tells us for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God Romans 3:23, and that out of the heart come evil thoughts and harmful words Matthew 15:19. Trauma may help explain why someone struggles, but it does not excuse abusive behavior. True goodness before God comes through repentance and faith in Christ and a transformed heart, not just good intentions. We rebuke the manipulation, the demeaning words, and the attempt to use a coworker to hurt you, whether those disparaging comments were actually made or were fabricated to control you. The Lord calls us to speak truth and to turn away from those who practice deceit. Do not be deceived Evil companionships corrupt good morals 1 Corinthians 15:33 and Do not associate with one given to anger and do not go with a hot-tempered man Proverbs 22:24. Your decision to cut off contact is wise and protective and aligns with the call to guard your heart, for Watch over your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life Proverbs 4:23.
We understand why these thoughts keep returning and why this situation has upset you so deeply. When someone tries to involve others against you it can wound deeply and keep your mind spinning. We also recognize that you have discerned spiritual opposition in the workplace before. We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the worlds rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places Ephesians 6:12, yet we are also called to take personal responsibility for our actions and not blame everything on demons alone. For your own peace, we encourage you to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ 2 Corinthians 10:5 and to choose to think on what is true and pure and praiseworthy Philippians 4:8. When the memory of his words or the coworker's alleged words comes, we can pray immediately, forgive as Christ forgave us, and refuse to dwell on gossip or slander. If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men Romans 12:18, which in this case means releasing them to God, praying for them, but maintaining firm boundaries and not seeking further contact or information.
We noticed you did not mention the name of Jesus in your request, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. We are saved by believing in Jesus Christ, that He died for our sins and rose again, and by confessing Him as Lord. If you have trusted in Him, we rejoice with you, and we encourage you to continue to call upon His name in every prayer, for He is near to those with a broken heart. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3.
We pray together now for you.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You and we lift our sister up to You. We thank You for giving her courage to walk away from an unequally yoked relationship in obedience to Your Word. Lord, heal her heart from the manipulation and psychological abuse she endured and from the fresh hurt of this recent contact and the confusion of triangulation. We ask You to quiet the intrusive thoughts that keep replaying and to renew her mind according to Romans 12:2. Help her to take every thought captive to Christ and to experience Your peace that surpasses all understanding as she casts her cares on You Philippians 4:6-7. Guard her heart and set firm boundaries, give her wisdom to remain no contact and to seek godly counsel and fellowship in the body of Christ. We forgive, as You have forgiven us, and we release both this ex and this coworker into Your hands. We pray for the ex, Lord, that You would convict him of sin and bring him to true repentance and salvation through Jesus Christ, and that You would heal any trauma he carries. We pray for the coworker as well, that truth would prevail and that no weapon formed against our sister would prosper. Lead her forward toward healing, wholeness, and in Your timing, toward a godly marriage with a believing husband if it is Your will, a relationship marked by purity, honesty, kindness and mutual submission to Christ. We ask all this in the mighty and saving name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and our only hope, amen.
We also want to speak with clarity and love about what you experienced. Manipulation and psychological abuse are sinful and destructive, and triangulation and gossip are also sinful. We must gently correct the thought that he is otherwise a good person and that trauma or emotional issues excuse this behavior. The Word tells us for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God Romans 3:23, and that out of the heart come evil thoughts and harmful words Matthew 15:19. Trauma may help explain why someone struggles, but it does not excuse abusive behavior. True goodness before God comes through repentance and faith in Christ and a transformed heart, not just good intentions. We rebuke the manipulation, the demeaning words, and the attempt to use a coworker to hurt you, whether those disparaging comments were actually made or were fabricated to control you. The Lord calls us to speak truth and to turn away from those who practice deceit. Do not be deceived Evil companionships corrupt good morals 1 Corinthians 15:33 and Do not associate with one given to anger and do not go with a hot-tempered man Proverbs 22:24. Your decision to cut off contact is wise and protective and aligns with the call to guard your heart, for Watch over your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life Proverbs 4:23.
We understand why these thoughts keep returning and why this situation has upset you so deeply. When someone tries to involve others against you it can wound deeply and keep your mind spinning. We also recognize that you have discerned spiritual opposition in the workplace before. We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the worlds rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places Ephesians 6:12, yet we are also called to take personal responsibility for our actions and not blame everything on demons alone. For your own peace, we encourage you to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ 2 Corinthians 10:5 and to choose to think on what is true and pure and praiseworthy Philippians 4:8. When the memory of his words or the coworker's alleged words comes, we can pray immediately, forgive as Christ forgave us, and refuse to dwell on gossip or slander. If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men Romans 12:18, which in this case means releasing them to God, praying for them, but maintaining firm boundaries and not seeking further contact or information.
We noticed you did not mention the name of Jesus in your request, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. We are saved by believing in Jesus Christ, that He died for our sins and rose again, and by confessing Him as Lord. If you have trusted in Him, we rejoice with you, and we encourage you to continue to call upon His name in every prayer, for He is near to those with a broken heart. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3.
We pray together now for you.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You and we lift our sister up to You. We thank You for giving her courage to walk away from an unequally yoked relationship in obedience to Your Word. Lord, heal her heart from the manipulation and psychological abuse she endured and from the fresh hurt of this recent contact and the confusion of triangulation. We ask You to quiet the intrusive thoughts that keep replaying and to renew her mind according to Romans 12:2. Help her to take every thought captive to Christ and to experience Your peace that surpasses all understanding as she casts her cares on You Philippians 4:6-7. Guard her heart and set firm boundaries, give her wisdom to remain no contact and to seek godly counsel and fellowship in the body of Christ. We forgive, as You have forgiven us, and we release both this ex and this coworker into Your hands. We pray for the ex, Lord, that You would convict him of sin and bring him to true repentance and salvation through Jesus Christ, and that You would heal any trauma he carries. We pray for the coworker as well, that truth would prevail and that no weapon formed against our sister would prosper. Lead her forward toward healing, wholeness, and in Your timing, toward a godly marriage with a believing husband if it is Your will, a relationship marked by purity, honesty, kindness and mutual submission to Christ. We ask all this in the mighty and saving name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and our only hope, amen.
We are really glad you reached out, and we are sorry for how heavy the last contact with your ex left you feeling. Ending a relationship that was not healthy, leaving a workplace tied to it, and now choosing to cut off contact all take real courage. It makes sense you are still turning his comments over in your mind.
When someone has used manipulation and triangulation throughout a relationship, a single comment - especially one that pulls in a coworker and suggests others are judging you - is designed to keep you unsettled and questioning yourself. The looping thoughts you describe are a common after-effect when that kind of pattern has gone on for a while, even after the relationship has ended. It does not mean you did something wrong in how you ended things.
Since you have decided to cut off contact, it can help to make that boundary as clear and simple as possible. We encourage you to block his number and social media, decide ahead of time on a brief response if he finds another way to reach you, and let one or two trusted people - a pastor, counselor, or safe friend - know about your decision so you are not carrying the what-ifs alone. If the thoughts keep intruding or you feel unsafe, please reach out to a trusted pastor or counselor for support alongside prayer.
Father, we lift our sister to You. We ask for Your peace to guard her mind when thoughts replay, for wisdom as she holds this boundary, and for protection and dignity in any workplace connections that remain. Heal what has been hurt and guide her steps forward. In Jesus' name, amen.
When someone has used manipulation and triangulation throughout a relationship, a single comment - especially one that pulls in a coworker and suggests others are judging you - is designed to keep you unsettled and questioning yourself. The looping thoughts you describe are a common after-effect when that kind of pattern has gone on for a while, even after the relationship has ended. It does not mean you did something wrong in how you ended things.
Since you have decided to cut off contact, it can help to make that boundary as clear and simple as possible. We encourage you to block his number and social media, decide ahead of time on a brief response if he finds another way to reach you, and let one or two trusted people - a pastor, counselor, or safe friend - know about your decision so you are not carrying the what-ifs alone. If the thoughts keep intruding or you feel unsafe, please reach out to a trusted pastor or counselor for support alongside prayer.
Father, we lift our sister to You. We ask for Your peace to guard her mind when thoughts replay, for wisdom as she holds this boundary, and for protection and dignity in any workplace connections that remain. Heal what has been hurt and guide her steps forward. In Jesus' name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your request has been heard and we join you in bringing it before the Lord, giving thanks for the wisdom He has given you to end a relationship that was unequally yoked and to now cut off contact where there has been manipulation and psychological abuse. That course is right and pleasing to God, for His Word teaches that light has no fellowship with darkness, and to walk away from what would draw your heart from Christ is obedience, not failure.
We pray that the God who knows the thoughts He thinks toward you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end, will now make that peace your daily portion. He has engraved you upon the palms of His hands and His thoughts are ever drifting your way for good, even when trials are grievous and when the words and actions of others leave wounds. When thoughts about what was said, whether true or spoken only to triangulate and unsettle you, return again and again, may He keep you in perfect peace as your mind is stayed upon Him, because you trust in Him.
We ask the Lord, who heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds, to breathe into your soul at this very moment that peace with God which passes all understanding, which flows from the blood of Jesus that whispers peace within. No other hand can minister this healing. The balm is at the Cross and the Physician is at the right hand of God, and the least thing that comes from Christ has healing virtue for the wounded spirit. May He lift you as on eagles wings above anxious and tormenting thoughts, and give you rest in doing His will, even while duties press and sorrows surge round.
We pray that He will guard your mind and your sleep, that your thoughts may be much with Him, and that you may know His sustaining presence as one who lays His hand upon you and will not let you go. May He deliver you from all fear of man and from the sting of disparaging words, whether spoken by your former coworker or merely claimed to have been spoken, and keep you from being troubled by those who once were used to target you. The Lord sees all that has been done and said, and He is your refuge and defense.
We also pray for your former companion, not that God would bless or restore a relationship outside of Christ, but that God in His mercy would bring him to salvation through Jesus Christ alone, to repentance and to newness of life, and that He would deal with whatever trauma and sin has borne fruit in abusive ways. May the Lord protect you as you maintain necessary boundaries and give you wise and godly counsel in your church as you walk this out.
May the Lord seek your peace, create your peace, and sustain your peace, until your expected end in Him is fulfilled. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ our only hope and healer. Amen.
We pray that the God who knows the thoughts He thinks toward you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end, will now make that peace your daily portion. He has engraved you upon the palms of His hands and His thoughts are ever drifting your way for good, even when trials are grievous and when the words and actions of others leave wounds. When thoughts about what was said, whether true or spoken only to triangulate and unsettle you, return again and again, may He keep you in perfect peace as your mind is stayed upon Him, because you trust in Him.
We ask the Lord, who heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds, to breathe into your soul at this very moment that peace with God which passes all understanding, which flows from the blood of Jesus that whispers peace within. No other hand can minister this healing. The balm is at the Cross and the Physician is at the right hand of God, and the least thing that comes from Christ has healing virtue for the wounded spirit. May He lift you as on eagles wings above anxious and tormenting thoughts, and give you rest in doing His will, even while duties press and sorrows surge round.
We pray that He will guard your mind and your sleep, that your thoughts may be much with Him, and that you may know His sustaining presence as one who lays His hand upon you and will not let you go. May He deliver you from all fear of man and from the sting of disparaging words, whether spoken by your former coworker or merely claimed to have been spoken, and keep you from being troubled by those who once were used to target you. The Lord sees all that has been done and said, and He is your refuge and defense.
We also pray for your former companion, not that God would bless or restore a relationship outside of Christ, but that God in His mercy would bring him to salvation through Jesus Christ alone, to repentance and to newness of life, and that He would deal with whatever trauma and sin has borne fruit in abusive ways. May the Lord protect you as you maintain necessary boundaries and give you wise and godly counsel in your church as you walk this out.
May the Lord seek your peace, create your peace, and sustain your peace, until your expected end in Him is fulfilled. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ our only hope and healer. Amen.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying for this request in Jesus Name.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
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