My ex (who is not a Christian and thus we are unequally yoked) contacted me recently and when he did, he was manipulative and psychologically abusive. He was this way throughout our relationship as well and I believe this may have been due to trauma or emotional/behavioral issues. I otherwise think he is a good person. When he talked to me, he made comments stating that he had told one of our coworkers (we used to work together but I quit the job; he is still there along with this person) about our relationship and this person made disparaging comments toward me and how I ended the relationship with him (which I did because we were unequally yoked). He could have just been trying to triangulate me with this person so maybe they didn't say these comments after all but either way, the situation upset me. I had problems with this person who he claims made these comments before due to them being used by the enemy to target me under the influence of demons along with other coworkers (but they came out from doing that). Please pray for me about this. I keep having thoughts about it. I will be cutting off contact with my ex. Thank you.
Ex
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We are lifting you up before the Lord and we thank you for sharing this burden with us so openly. We rejoice that you had the biblical wisdom and courage to end a relationship that was unequally yoked, for the Scripture says Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity Or what fellowship has light with darkness 2 Corinthians 6:14. That was not a small decision, and it was the right one in the eyes of God. A courtship is meant to be a season of discerning marriage to a fellow believer in Christ, not a partnership with someone who does not share faith in Jesus, and we affirm you for honoring the Lord in that choice.
We also affirm your decision to cut off contact with your ex. What you have described is not love, it is manipulation and psychological abuse, and even if trauma or emotional struggles are part of his story, they do not excuse sin or give permission to harm you. The Lord calls us to guard our hearts, for Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life Proverbs 4:23, and to not make close fellowship with those who are given to anger and abuse, for Do not befriend a hot-tempered man, and do not associate with one who harbors anger Proverbs 22:24. To continue contact with someone who uses triangulation, gossip, and disparaging words to control and unsettle you would keep a door open to further hurt. Setting a firm boundary is wisdom, not unkindness.
We want to speak gently but clearly about how you are viewing him. You said you otherwise think he is a good person. We understand the desire to see the best in someone you cared for, but Scripture teaches that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God Romans 3:23 and that apart from Christ none is good in the way God defines goodness. This does not mean he cannot be saved and transformed, and we will pray for his salvation, but we encourage you not to minimize the pattern of abuse by calling it goodness with some flaws. God sees the behavior for what it is and calls us to speak truth about it while still praying for the person's repentance.
Regarding the coworker and the comments he claims were made, whether those words were actually spoken or whether he was triangulating you to make you feel judged and isolated, the result is the same, it is gossip and slander intended to stir up strife. We do not need to be consumed with figuring out exactly what was said. The Lord calls us to leave such things with Him and to not be entangled again. You mentioned that this workplace had been a place of spiritual oppression and that people were used by the enemy. We agree that our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world's rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places Ephesians 6:12. At the same time we must remember that people are also responsible for their own choices, and the enemy cannot force a believer who is walking with Christ to be overcome. We are to submit therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you James 4:7 and to be sober and watchful, for Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour 1 Peter 5:8. Your peace will not come from monitoring what others may or may not be saying about you, but from resting in what God says about you.
We understand that thoughts about this situation keep returning and have upset you deeply. The Lord is near to you in this. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18. He wants to heal your mind and give you His peace. We are to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ 2 Corinthians 10:5 and to be transformed by the renewing of your mind Romans 12:2. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control 2 Timothy 1:7. When those intrusive thoughts come, we encourage you to deliberately turn to prayer, to speak Scripture aloud, and to dwell on whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good report Philippians 4:8.
We also noticed that your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We say this in love because there is such hope here. It is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father, for Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6, and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we urge you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and confess Him as Lord, for if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. It is in His name that we pray and find healing, forgiveness, and protection.
If there was any sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, we want to lovingly call that what Scripture calls it, fornication, which God calls us to flee from, for Flee sexual immorality 1 Corinthians 6:18. If that is part of your story, we encourage you to confess it to the Lord and receive His forgiveness and cleansing, and to commit your future courtship to purity until marriage between a man and a woman as God designed it. Even if that was not part of this relationship, we encourage you to hold that standard for the godly marriage we pray God will bring you in His timing.
We now pray together for you.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. We lift up Your daughter to You and ask for Your healing hand upon her heart and mind. Lord, we thank You for giving her discernment to walk away from an unequally yoked relationship and for giving her strength to cut off contact with one who has been manipulative and abusive. We ask You to seal that boundary with Your peace and to give her grace not to look back and not to be drawn into further communication. We pray that You would quiet the intrusive thoughts that keep returning, that You would take every anxious thought captive and replace it with Your truth. Let Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard her heart and her thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:7. Heal the wounds left by psychological abuse and by words spoken against her, and remind her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made and deeply loved by You. We pray also for this ex, Lord, that You would convict him of his sin, bring him to repentance, and bring him to saving faith in Jesus if he does not know You. We pray for the coworker and former workplace, that no weapon formed against her would prosper and that any gossip or slander would be silenced by Your hand. Help her to forgive as You have forgiven her, to release bitterness, while still maintaining wise boundaries and not reconciling what is not safe or godly. Lead her forward into hope, and in Your perfect timing, bring a godly Christian husband who will love her as Christ loves the church and with whom she can build a marriage that honors You. We ask all of this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, amen.
We encourage you to stay rooted in the Word daily, to stay in fellowship with mature believers who can support you in person, and to seek wise pastoral counsel if the distressing thoughts continue. Do not engage with messages or attempts to draw you back in, and do not seek out information about what others may be saying. Trust the Lord to be your defender. He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ Philippians 1:6. We are praying that you will know His nearness, His protection, and His perfect peace in the days ahead.
We also affirm your decision to cut off contact with your ex. What you have described is not love, it is manipulation and psychological abuse, and even if trauma or emotional struggles are part of his story, they do not excuse sin or give permission to harm you. The Lord calls us to guard our hearts, for Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life Proverbs 4:23, and to not make close fellowship with those who are given to anger and abuse, for Do not befriend a hot-tempered man, and do not associate with one who harbors anger Proverbs 22:24. To continue contact with someone who uses triangulation, gossip, and disparaging words to control and unsettle you would keep a door open to further hurt. Setting a firm boundary is wisdom, not unkindness.
We want to speak gently but clearly about how you are viewing him. You said you otherwise think he is a good person. We understand the desire to see the best in someone you cared for, but Scripture teaches that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God Romans 3:23 and that apart from Christ none is good in the way God defines goodness. This does not mean he cannot be saved and transformed, and we will pray for his salvation, but we encourage you not to minimize the pattern of abuse by calling it goodness with some flaws. God sees the behavior for what it is and calls us to speak truth about it while still praying for the person's repentance.
Regarding the coworker and the comments he claims were made, whether those words were actually spoken or whether he was triangulating you to make you feel judged and isolated, the result is the same, it is gossip and slander intended to stir up strife. We do not need to be consumed with figuring out exactly what was said. The Lord calls us to leave such things with Him and to not be entangled again. You mentioned that this workplace had been a place of spiritual oppression and that people were used by the enemy. We agree that our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world's rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places Ephesians 6:12. At the same time we must remember that people are also responsible for their own choices, and the enemy cannot force a believer who is walking with Christ to be overcome. We are to submit therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you James 4:7 and to be sober and watchful, for Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour 1 Peter 5:8. Your peace will not come from monitoring what others may or may not be saying about you, but from resting in what God says about you.
We understand that thoughts about this situation keep returning and have upset you deeply. The Lord is near to you in this. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18. He wants to heal your mind and give you His peace. We are to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ 2 Corinthians 10:5 and to be transformed by the renewing of your mind Romans 12:2. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control 2 Timothy 1:7. When those intrusive thoughts come, we encourage you to deliberately turn to prayer, to speak Scripture aloud, and to dwell on whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good report Philippians 4:8.
We also noticed that your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We say this in love because there is such hope here. It is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father, for Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6, and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we urge you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and confess Him as Lord, for if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. It is in His name that we pray and find healing, forgiveness, and protection.
If there was any sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, we want to lovingly call that what Scripture calls it, fornication, which God calls us to flee from, for Flee sexual immorality 1 Corinthians 6:18. If that is part of your story, we encourage you to confess it to the Lord and receive His forgiveness and cleansing, and to commit your future courtship to purity until marriage between a man and a woman as God designed it. Even if that was not part of this relationship, we encourage you to hold that standard for the godly marriage we pray God will bring you in His timing.
We now pray together for you.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. We lift up Your daughter to You and ask for Your healing hand upon her heart and mind. Lord, we thank You for giving her discernment to walk away from an unequally yoked relationship and for giving her strength to cut off contact with one who has been manipulative and abusive. We ask You to seal that boundary with Your peace and to give her grace not to look back and not to be drawn into further communication. We pray that You would quiet the intrusive thoughts that keep returning, that You would take every anxious thought captive and replace it with Your truth. Let Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard her heart and her thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:7. Heal the wounds left by psychological abuse and by words spoken against her, and remind her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made and deeply loved by You. We pray also for this ex, Lord, that You would convict him of his sin, bring him to repentance, and bring him to saving faith in Jesus if he does not know You. We pray for the coworker and former workplace, that no weapon formed against her would prosper and that any gossip or slander would be silenced by Your hand. Help her to forgive as You have forgiven her, to release bitterness, while still maintaining wise boundaries and not reconciling what is not safe or godly. Lead her forward into hope, and in Your perfect timing, bring a godly Christian husband who will love her as Christ loves the church and with whom she can build a marriage that honors You. We ask all of this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, amen.
We encourage you to stay rooted in the Word daily, to stay in fellowship with mature believers who can support you in person, and to seek wise pastoral counsel if the distressing thoughts continue. Do not engage with messages or attempts to draw you back in, and do not seek out information about what others may be saying. Trust the Lord to be your defender. He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ Philippians 1:6. We are praying that you will know His nearness, His protection, and His perfect peace in the days ahead.
Prayingwoman
Servant of All
Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.
We've been sitting with your note and the weight this contact has left on you. It makes sense those comments would keep replaying, especially when they touch a painful decision you made for faithful reasons and involve people from a workplace you already stepped away from. Whether your ex was accurately repeating what a coworker said or was trying to stir up hurt between you, the effect is the same and it pulls you back into confusion and self doubt. That lingering echo is a common aftermath of a relationship that felt controlling and manipulative, and it can take time for your mind to settle even after you have made a wise choice.
We are grateful you have decided to cut off contact. Holding a clear boundary like that is often the kindest and safest way to care for yourself going forward, and it is good you are choosing it.
When those thoughts loop, it can help to have a simple steady response ready. You might quietly notice the thought, bring it honestly to Jesus in a brief prayer, and then gently turn your attention to what is present and trustworthy in front of you. If you do not already have someone safe to talk with, we encourage you to invite one trusted friend, pastor or counselor into what you are walking through so you are not sorting this alone.
Father, we lift our sister to You now. Guard her heart and mind, surround her with safety and wise support, and give her clear peace as she keeps this boundary. Help her to rest in Your care and to know her worth in You, and lead her step by step in Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.
We are grateful you have decided to cut off contact. Holding a clear boundary like that is often the kindest and safest way to care for yourself going forward, and it is good you are choosing it.
When those thoughts loop, it can help to have a simple steady response ready. You might quietly notice the thought, bring it honestly to Jesus in a brief prayer, and then gently turn your attention to what is present and trustworthy in front of you. If you do not already have someone safe to talk with, we encourage you to invite one trusted friend, pastor or counselor into what you are walking through so you are not sorting this alone.
Father, we lift our sister to You now. Guard her heart and mind, surround her with safety and wise support, and give her clear peace as she keeps this boundary. Help her to rest in Your care and to know her worth in You, and lead her step by step in Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.
Geasuormir
Servant of All
I prayed for this in Jesus Name.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
There is wisdom and grace in the course you have taken, and I thank God for it. To turn away from an unequally yoked union is not cruelty but obedience to the Word which says we are not to be yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship has light with darkness. And to cut off contact where there has been manipulation and psychological abuse is not unkindness but a right guarding of the heart which God calls you to keep with all diligence.
Do not excuse what has wounded you by saying that trauma or troubled behavior has made it so, though it may in part account for it. Sin remains sin, and the soul that has learned to manipulate and to wound must be brought to Christ for pardon and for new birth before it can be trusted to love rightly. That you see this man still as one for whom Christ died does not require you to remain within reach of his harm. The Lord who heals the broken in heart does not call His children to offer themselves again to be broken. Commit this man to God in prayer, that he may yet be saved through Jesus Christ alone, for there is no other name under heaven by which he must be saved, and leave his soul in those hands which alone can change the heart.
You speak of thoughts that will not leave you, and of words that may or may not have been spoken by another to your hurt. Here you must remember how precious are God's thoughts toward you, and how high His thoughts are above your thoughts and above the thoughts of men. Man's thoughts are often vain, bitter, and untrue, but God's thoughts toward His own are thoughts of peace, thoughts of love from everlasting. When the mind is crowded with the echo of another's words, set against them the Word of the Lord. Take those intrusive thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. The very least Word that falls from the lips of Christ has healing in it, as the leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations. A single promise from His mouth can calm the agitation of the bosom and bind up the wound that man has made.
As for what was said among coworkers, whether it was spoken or whether it was used as a snare to draw you into further entanglement, give it no more room in your soul. You cannot govern the tongue of another, and you need not answer for it. The Lord knows your way and your integrity in ending what could not be before Him. If others have been used to target you and have now ceased, praise God for that mercy, and walk the more humbly and watchfully, remembering that our warfare is not with flesh and blood, yet Christ has overcome the enemy, and He will preserve your soul from all evil.
Let me pray for you.
O Lord our God, look in mercy upon this Your child who has been wounded and is wearied with thoughts that return unbidden. Heal the broken in heart and bind up their wounds. Let Your precious thoughts toward her be her meditation day and night, and let Your ways which are higher than our ways lift her above the snare of man's words. Grant her to know the cleansing and the healing that comes by forgiveness through the blood of Christ, and keep her in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You. Guard her steps, give her wise and faithful counsel in Your church, keep her from all that would draw her back into yoke or harm, and make her to stand fast in the liberty wherewith Christ has made her free. And for that one who is yet without Christ, we ask that You would bring him to see his need of a Saviour and to bow to Jesus as Lord, that he might be saved and made new. Hear us for Jesus' sake. Amen.
Do not excuse what has wounded you by saying that trauma or troubled behavior has made it so, though it may in part account for it. Sin remains sin, and the soul that has learned to manipulate and to wound must be brought to Christ for pardon and for new birth before it can be trusted to love rightly. That you see this man still as one for whom Christ died does not require you to remain within reach of his harm. The Lord who heals the broken in heart does not call His children to offer themselves again to be broken. Commit this man to God in prayer, that he may yet be saved through Jesus Christ alone, for there is no other name under heaven by which he must be saved, and leave his soul in those hands which alone can change the heart.
You speak of thoughts that will not leave you, and of words that may or may not have been spoken by another to your hurt. Here you must remember how precious are God's thoughts toward you, and how high His thoughts are above your thoughts and above the thoughts of men. Man's thoughts are often vain, bitter, and untrue, but God's thoughts toward His own are thoughts of peace, thoughts of love from everlasting. When the mind is crowded with the echo of another's words, set against them the Word of the Lord. Take those intrusive thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. The very least Word that falls from the lips of Christ has healing in it, as the leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations. A single promise from His mouth can calm the agitation of the bosom and bind up the wound that man has made.
As for what was said among coworkers, whether it was spoken or whether it was used as a snare to draw you into further entanglement, give it no more room in your soul. You cannot govern the tongue of another, and you need not answer for it. The Lord knows your way and your integrity in ending what could not be before Him. If others have been used to target you and have now ceased, praise God for that mercy, and walk the more humbly and watchfully, remembering that our warfare is not with flesh and blood, yet Christ has overcome the enemy, and He will preserve your soul from all evil.
Let me pray for you.
O Lord our God, look in mercy upon this Your child who has been wounded and is wearied with thoughts that return unbidden. Heal the broken in heart and bind up their wounds. Let Your precious thoughts toward her be her meditation day and night, and let Your ways which are higher than our ways lift her above the snare of man's words. Grant her to know the cleansing and the healing that comes by forgiveness through the blood of Christ, and keep her in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You. Guard her steps, give her wise and faithful counsel in Your church, keep her from all that would draw her back into yoke or harm, and make her to stand fast in the liberty wherewith Christ has made her free. And for that one who is yet without Christ, we ask that You would bring him to see his need of a Saviour and to bow to Jesus as Lord, that he might be saved and made new. Hear us for Jesus' sake. Amen.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
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