Depression

[Iroutariurside]

So, I've been praying, and went to the beach. I can't eat, sleep well, and feel so sick. I felt so much peace then worry about a girl. Any time I experience emotions. I can't name them or understand them. I feel suicidal thoughts that just remind me of childhood. I get therapy. I pray. I reach out. Growing up yes my family often threatened it and blamed the other person. Ever since i was little. I forgave. I let go. I love my family. But, why can't i breaf free from the cycle. Especially around love, or even desire alone. i feel so alone with this

 

[Iroutariurside]

I've also receieved help too many times. I don't want any more resources. I want gods love. I believe jesus rose from the dead. I fully surrender. Yet, I'm still experiencing these images

 

[Articles]

We have read your request and we are carrying this heavy burden with you before the Lord in Jesus' name. We hear how exhausted you are, unable to eat or sleep well, feeling sick, experiencing peace at the beach and then quickly feeling worry again about a girl, and feeling overwhelmed by emotions you cannot name or understand. We hear how suicidal thoughts are coming that remind you of childhood, when family members threatened it and blamed the other person, and how even though you have forgiven and let go and love your family, you feel trapped in a cycle and so alone, especially around love and even desire itself. You are not alone in this struggle and you are not forgotten by God.

The Lord sees the depth of this pain and He draws especially near to those who are brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 147:3 says He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. When your heart is overwhelmed and you cannot find words for what you feel, God still understands. Romans 8:26 says the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Even when you cannot name your emotions, He knows them fully. 1 Peter 5:7 reminds us to cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you. We thank God that you are getting therapy, that you are praying, and that you are reaching out. That is not weakness, that is wisdom and courage, and we encourage you to continue to stay connected with your counselor, a trusted pastor or mature believer, and safe people who can support you in person. If those suicidal thoughts grow stronger, please reach out right away to someone you trust and get help without delay. Your life is precious to God and He has purpose for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future.

We also want to speak gently about the cycle you described from childhood. What you experienced growing up, hearing threats of suicide and blame, was not God's design for a family and it can leave deep wounds that affect how we view love, safety, and even our own worth. Forgiving and loving your family as you have done is beautiful and obedient to God, as Ephesians 4:32 calls us to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. Yet forgiveness does not mean the wound is instantly healed or that the learned patterns disappear overnight. Healing is often a process, and God wants to walk with you to break that cycle by renewing your mind and teaching you His way of love, which is patient, kind, and not manipulative or threatening, as described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. We rebuke the lie that you must remain trapped or that you are alone in this, and we rebuke the spirit of despair and death that would whisper that suicide is an answer. Those thoughts are not from God, who came to give life. John 10:10 says the thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly.

Around love and desire, we want to encourage you with biblical truth said in love. God created love and desire as good gifts, but He intends for them to be stewarded within His design. Desire by itself can feel confusing and lonely, especially when old wounds are stirred. God calls us to honor Him with our bodies and our thoughts, to flee from fornication, which is sex before or outside of marriage, and to pursue purity as we seek Him first. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. If you are interested in a girl, we pray you will view that interest through the lens of godly courtship with the goal of marriage to a fellow believer, rather than a casual relationship. 2 Corinthians 6:14 reminds us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that reflects Christ's love for the church, and we pray that if it is God's will for you to marry, He will lead you to a godly wife and help you grow in wholeness first so you can love well from a place of healing. For now, surrender those desires and worries about love to Christ daily, asking Him to guard your heart and teach you what healthy, selfless love looks like.

We noticed you said you have been praying, and we want to gently remind you of the precious truth that it is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to God and find salvation and true peace. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and to confess Him as Lord. Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. It is in His name that we can bring every burden, every sleepless night, every confusing emotion, and every painful memory to the Father and find mercy.

We are praying together for you now.

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we lift up this dear one to You. You see the depression, the inability to eat and sleep, the sickness, the waves of peace and then worry, the emotions that feel nameless, and the painful memories from childhood. Lord, we ask You to wrap Your presence around him and let him know he is not alone, for You have promised never to leave nor forsake us. Touch his body and give him rest, restore his appetite and sleep, and calm his mind with Your peace that surpasses all understanding as promised in Philippians 4:6-7. Heal his broken heart and bind up his wounds, break the cycle that has followed him since he was little, and teach him to breathe freely in Your grace. Help him to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ as in 2 Corinthians 10:5, and to cast every worry on You. Give wisdom to his counselor and to those supporting him, and surround him with godly community that will walk with him. Purify and guide his desires, lead him in purity and in Your will for love and marriage, and show him what it means to love and be loved in a way that honors You. Fill him with hope, remind him daily that he is fearfully and wonderfully made in Psalm 139:14 and deeply loved, and draw him ever closer to Jesus, in whose name we have hope and life. Amen.

We are continuing to pray for you to experience God's sustaining peace not just for a moment at the beach but day by day, and for strength to keep reaching out. When your heart is overwhelmed, cry out to Him as in Psalm 61:2, When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Keep seeking Him, keep staying connected to help, and keep bringing every thought to Jesus. He is faithful to complete the healing He has begun in you.

 

[hostadmin]

We are so thankful you reached out and shared this with us. Because you mentioned suicidal thoughts, we want to pause and care for your safety first. If you are in immediate danger, please contact your local emergency services right now. For free, confidential support, you can find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com - you are not alone and trained people are ready to help right now.

What you described sounds exhausting and lonely, not being able to eat or sleep well, feeling sick, having peace one moment and worry the next, and not having words for what you feel. It makes sense that thoughts that remind you of childhood would come up, especially when your family threatened suicide and blamed each other when you were little. Loving your family and choosing to forgive does not automatically quiet those old patterns, and it is understandable that they feel strongest around love and desire.

We hear how hard you are trying, you pray, you get therapy, you reach out, you even went to the beach to find peace. That persistence matters, even when the cycle does not break as quickly as you hope. Learning to name emotions is a skill many people have to build slowly with support, it is not a failure that it feels confusing right now.

It would be good to let your therapist know specifically about the suicidal thoughts, the trouble with sleep and eating, and how alone you feel around love and desire, and to also check in with a medical professional about the physical symptoms alongside prayer.

Father, we lift our friend to You right now. You see the weariness, the sickness, the loneliness and the old wounds that still echo. Wrap Your presence around him, give him safety, rest, and clear next steps, and guide him to caring help that stays close. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your words have been heard with deep tenderness and with prayer before the Lord. To be unable to eat or to sleep, to feel sick in body and troubled in mind, to find a moment of peace by the sea and then to be cast again into worry, to feel emotions surge within you that you cannot name or understand, this is a heavy affliction. And to carry thoughts of death that echo the threats and sorrows of childhood, while yet you love your family and have sought to forgive, is a burden few can comprehend. You are not unseen in this, and you are not alone as you fear you are.

There is One who knows this loneliness most intimately. Our blessed Saviour was left alone in His hour of deepest sorrow, just when as Man He most needed human sympathy, and His disciples forsook Him and fled. He entered into that solitude deliberately and in love, that those who trust Him might never be utterly forsaken. Though you may feel that no others in the family think as you do, or that you have no familiar converse in which to open your mind, He understands the anguish of being friendless and alone. When you feel most isolated, even then you are not truly alone, for He has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you.

You speak of a multitude of thoughts within you, thoughts that crowd and confuse and forebode. The Psalmist knew this tumult and wrote, In the multitude of my thoughts within me Thy comforts delight my soul. Your thoughts in this season may be dark and accusing, telling you that you will never be free from the cycle, that love must always bring pain, that you are alone with your desire and your grief. But the Lord says, My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My thoughts higher than your thoughts. His thoughts toward you in Christ are not thoughts of condemnation but constant, kind, tender and gracious thoughts of love. How precious also are Thy thoughts unto me, O God, how great is the sum of them. When you awake in the night unable to sleep, you are still with Him, and He is still with you. His comforts do not depend upon your ability to name every emotion correctly, but upon His faithful character.

It is good that you pray and that you reach out and that you receive therapy. Continue steadfastly in these means of grace and help. The Lord often prepares the heart by degrees, and He uses the counsel of others, the prayers of His people, and honest speech to bring light into confusion. To learn to name what you feel is a slow work, and it is not a failure that you cannot do it at once. Bring even unnamed groanings to Him, for the Spirit Himself intercedes for us. Keep a simple practice of prayer, of reading His Word, and of speaking plainly to a trusted pastor, counselor or mature believer who can walk with you. You need not carry these suicidal thoughts in secret. When such thoughts press upon you, tell someone near you at once, your therapist, your pastor, a faithful friend or family member, and if you ever feel in immediate danger, seek help without delay by going to a safe place and contacting a trusted person or emergency help in your area. In the United States you may call or text 988 to reach a crisis helpline. Your life is precious to God.

You have forgiven and you love your family, and that is Christlike. Yet forgiveness, though it releases bitterness, does not in itself erase the patterns learned in childhood when threats were spoken and blame was cast. To be free from the cycle requires time, truth, and often wise boundaries and continued counsel. It is not unloving to seek help to understand how those early wounds still shape the way you experience love and desire. Ask the Lord to show you His way of love, which is patient and pure and seeks the good of the other.

Around love and desire especially you feel alone and caught. Know that God made love and desire to be good, but to find their right and safe place within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, and that all desire is to be brought under the lordship of Christ in purity and self control. This is not to shame you for being tempted or for feeling deeply, but to point you to a path that leads to wholeness rather than to deeper confusion and sorrow. Bring your longings to Christ and ask Him to form in you thankful thoughts, believing thoughts, and longing thoughts after Himself, that He may have the first growth of your spirit. He is able to keep you and to give you a summer in the soul even when it is winter outside.

Do not be silent in your suffering, for every voice in the Father's family is needed, even the weakest. Speak on, in prayer and to those who can help you, though your tongue scarcely responds to your thoughts. The Lord who prepares the heart will also hear.

May the Lord lift you from this depression, give you rest in sleep and strength in body, quiet the multitude of anxious thoughts with His sacred comforts, and show you day by day that His thoughts of love toward you in Jesus Christ are more numerous and more precious than all your fears. Keep praying, keep reaching out, and keep looking to Christ alone for salvation and for hope. He who was alone in His sorrow now lives to make intercession for you, and He will not cast away any who come to Him.

 

[usha rani]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

Thank you for sharing so honestly about what you are carrying. Hearing that you cannot eat or sleep well, feel sick, feel alone, and are visited by suicidal thoughts that reach back into childhood shows how heavy this season is. The peace you felt at the beach and then the quick return of worry, the difficulty naming what you feel, and the way love and even desire itself can stir the old cycle, all make sense given the history you describe.

It is a good and Christlike thing that you have chosen to forgive and to love your family, even while you still feel the wounds from growing up hearing threats and blame. Forgiveness does not mean the hurt disappears at once or that patterns learned when you were little lose their power overnight. Healing is often a long walk, and God is patient as He forms humility, steadiness and self restraint in us. Scripture calls us to walk with lowliness of mind and meekness, with long suffering, bearing with one another in love and keeping the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. That lowliness is not thinking little of yourself, but honestly bringing your weakness to God and letting Him be your strength.

You are not alone, even when it feels that way. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and to those with a contrite and humble heart. He sees you, He hears your prayers, and He has placed you in a body of believers to walk with you. Your practice of praying, reaching out, and continuing in therapy are important ways of lifting both hands and mind to Him and of letting others help bear the burden. Please keep going with those supports. Keep meeting with your therapist and with a trusted pastor or mature believer who can know you face to face and walk with you consistently. If thoughts of harming yourself become strong or you feel unsafe, reach out right away to someone near you, to your counselor or pastor, or to a crisis help line or emergency services in your area. In the United States you can call or text ### at any time.

Around love and desire, God gives us clear and kind boundaries for our good. He made us to love deeply and to honor one another, to be the first to show honor and warmth, and to steward desire with self restraint within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. When feelings rise and you cannot name them, it can help to pause, pray, and bring them honestly before God in the language of the Psalms, and to talk them through with your counselor. Learning to name emotions takes time, and God is not hurried or disappointed as you learn. Desire itself is not your identity, and it does not have to drive your choices. Bringing it under Christ, with humility and prayer, is part of growing into rest for your soul.

The cycle you describe will not break by willpower alone, but by daily grace. Disengage a little at a time from what stirs the old flame, and draw near to what is life giving: time in Scripture, simple prayer, honest fellowship, rest, nourishing food as you are able, and small steps of sleep and daily routine. Keep lifting your thoughts on high, not by pretending the pain is not there, but by remembering that your hope is in Jesus Christ alone, who bore our sorrows and gives mercy to all who come to Him.

I will pray for you now.

Lord Jesus Christ, You know this child of Yours fully and love him completely. You see the sleepless nights, the sickness, the loneliness, the old memories and the present worries. Have mercy and grant rest to his soul. Give him a contrite and quiet heart that trembles at Your word and trusts Your love. Help him to keep walking with lowliness, meekness and patience, to know Your forgiveness through Your cross alone, and to experience Your peace that passes understanding. Surround him with faithful people who will love him well, bear with him, and keep him from isolation. Guard him from harm, strengthen him to steward his heart with purity and self restraint, and lead him step by step out of this cycle into Your present and future blessings. In Your gracious name we ask this. Amen.

Please do not carry this alone. Keep reaching out, keep letting your therapist and pastor know how you are doing day by day, and keep coming to the Lord who will not turn away a humble and seeking heart.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing so honestly about what you are carrying. Feeling unable to eat or sleep, feeling sick, feeling peace at the beach and then quickly feeling worry again, struggling to name what you feel, and having thoughts of ending your life that echo things you heard as a child is a very heavy burden. It makes sense that you feel alone and exhausted, and it is good that you are praying, that you are in therapy, and that you keep reaching out even when it feels like the cycle will not break.

You mentioned growing up hearing threats of suicide that blamed the other person, and that you have forgiven and you love your family but still feel trapped in that pattern, especially around love and desire. Forgiveness is real and right before God, and love for your family is good, but forgiveness does not instantly erase the patterns we learned while we were young. When a home uses threats and blame to handle emotions, a child learns to be confused about emotions, to have trouble naming them, and to expect that love will bring fear or guilt. That confusion can stay with us as adults, and it often comes up most strongly around closeness and desire. Needing time, prayer, honest community, and continued counseling to unlearn those old responses is not a failure of forgiveness. It is part of healing and being renewed in how you think and respond. Scripture speaks of being transformed by the renewing of the mind, and that renewing is a process God does over time as you walk with Him.

You also described a cycle that feels hard to break. Scripture shows that cycles of complaint and discouragement often repeat. At times the people complained and that displeased the Lord, and at other times they were in a season of deep discouragement and God responded by giving them assurance about the future He had for them, reminding them that He would bring them into the place He promised. There is a difference between complaining against God and honestly casting your cares on Him. God invites you to bring every worry, every unnamed feeling, and every painful memory to Him. First Peter says to cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you, and the Psalms often show people telling God exactly that they feel downcast and disturbed, asking Him for help.

It can also help to remember that what feels like a setback now may look different when you see more of the whole story. Many people look back and see that something God allowed, which at the time brought only complaint or confusion, later became a way He showed His goodness and shaped them. That does not make the present pain less real, but it does mean you can ask God to help you trust that He intends good for you in Christ, even while you are still in the middle of the cycle. He is not distant from your depression. He is near to the brokenhearted, and He sees you in this lonely place.

Your life has great value to God. Scripture teaches that redemption means your life has been purchased by the blood of the Lamb, that you belong to Him and are not your own. Jesus Christ alone is the way of salvation, and through faith in Him you are fully known, fully loved, and held even when your feelings tell you that you are alone or without hope. That truth does not remove the need for help, but it is the foundation for hope when suicidal thoughts come. Those thoughts are a sign to reach out right away, not to carry them alone. If they grow stronger or you feel you might act on them, please tell a trusted person, your counselor, a pastor, or a medical professional immediately, or contact a crisis helpline in your area. In the United States you can call or text 988. Staying connected is important, and you do not have to be ashamed for needing support.

Around love and desire, God is not surprised by your longings and He does not want you to stay in shame or confusion. He created love and desire with a good purpose, and He shows us in Scripture that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and that sexual intimacy and living together belong within that covenant. Whatever feelings arise, you can bring them honestly to Jesus and ask Him to shape your desires, to teach you what faithful love looks like, and to lead you in purity and wisdom. He is patient and kind as He forms your heart, and He will not leave you to figure this out alone.

You are not alone even when it feels that way. Keep taking the small faithful steps you are already taking. Continue in prayer, even with simple words like, Lord, I feel sick and confused and I need You. Continue in therapy and let your counselor know how hard eating, sleeping, and these thoughts have been. Keep reaching out to safe people instead of withdrawing. Spend time in Scripture where God reminds you of His presence, such as Psalm 42, Psalm 61, and Romans 8. And ask God to help you notice and name one feeling at a time, without judgment, as a way of learning a new pattern that is grounded in His truth rather than the old threats you heard.

I am praying for you, that God will give you rest for your body, peace for your mind, and a clear sense of His nearness. May He guard you from harm, surround you with caring help, and show you day by day that you are His, that your life is precious to Him, and that He is able to lead you out of this cycle into greater wholeness in Christ. If you can, please let someone near you know how you are doing today so you are not carrying this alone.