Thank you for sharing so honestly about what you are going through. Needing rest because you are ill is not a spiritual failure, and wanting sleep is not opening a door to the enemy. God Himself designed sleep as part of our healing and restoration.
I want to pray for you for both physical healing and for peaceful, protected rest, and to encourage you with what Scripture shows us.
First, your illness is not something God placed on you to make a point. Jesus showed us the heart of the Father when He healed those who were sick and oppressed. The prophet Isaiah said He bore our infirmities and carried our sicknesses, and the Gospels show Jesus fulfilling that by healing every kind of disease and by setting people free from evil spirits. He has power in the physical realm to heal bodies and power in the spiritual realm to command evil spirits, and they must obey Him.
The Bible does not give us every detail about the spirit realm, but it gives us enough to have confidence. Evil spirits are real, and when Jesus was on earth they recognized His authority and even begged Him not to send them to their place of confinement before their appointed time. They are not free to do whatever they want. They are limited by God, and Scripture shows that those who belong to God are sealed and set apart. Like locusts that are forbidden to harm what God has marked as His, the enemy cannot simply take what God has claimed. The promise that greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world is true for you as someone who has left darkness and returned to Christ. You are His.
It is understandable that after leaving the new age you would be sensitive to spiritual attack. The enemy does oppose those who turn to Jesus. But opposition does not mean you are unprotected. The right response to attack is prayer, as we see in the example of Nehemiah. When the work was threatened, he prayed and kept his eyes on the Lord, and he also took practical steps to watch and guard the work while trusting God to fight for him. In the same way, you can bring your need for sleep and healing directly to the Lord in prayer, ask Him to be your guard, and rest in His care.
Sleep itself is not what makes you vulnerable. Scripture often shows God giving sleep as a gift and even as a means of protection. There are times when God caused a deep sleep to fall on people to keep His servant safe. And Jesus taught that the kingdom of God is like seed planted in the ground. A person goes to sleep and rises, and the seed grows, first the blade, then the head, then the full grain. While you sleep, the Word of God that has been planted in your heart continues its quiet work. You do not have to stay awake to make spiritual growth happen. God watches over you while you rest.
There is also a real connection between our bodies, our minds, and our spirits. Prolonged stress, fear, and anxiety can wear down the body, while peace and trust help bring restoration. This is not a formula for healing, but it reminds us that God cares for the whole person. The apostle John prayed for a friend that he would prosper and be in good health even as his soul prospered. That was a loving prayer, not a guarantee that faith removes all sickness, but it shows God's kind desire for your well being in both soul and body.
So please do not be afraid to get the rest you need right now. You can pray simply before you sleep, asking the Lord Jesus to cover you with His presence, to rebuke any evil influence, and to grant you deep, healing rest. You can ask Him to let you feel His healing touch, as many have experienced when the Lord brings sudden strength and peace to a sick body. Keep Scripture close, even a short verse about His protection and nearness, and let that be the last word in your mind as you fall asleep. If fear comes, turn it immediately into prayer.
I am praying for you now that the Lord will lift this illness, renew your strength so you can stand and move without exhaustion, and give you sleep that is sweet and undisturbed. May He quiet your heart with the assurance that you are sealed in Christ, that no attack can separate you from His love, and that He Himself is your shepherd who lies at the entrance of the fold to guard His sheep. May you wake refreshed and experience His healing power in your body and His peace in your mind.