Requested forgiveness for me

Anonymous

Beloved of All
I'm asking for forgiveness from the father and I believe the son died and rose again on the third day and I'm asking for the forgiveness for my part and ongoing of watching explicit videos pornography things that are not of God and doing the things that are not of God and I confess and and here I am humility. And honesty and sincerity and I confess that I've sinned greatly against the Lord above and that I am a sinner and that I'm asking for the forgiveness from the Lord the holy Spirit and from God the Father the Creator and I just want to shame to go away and I'm very sorry I was molested as a child I was abused I watched my mom get beat I was beating up in school a lot I was sent away to behavioral health facilities and those people there they were abused me I was beaten the jail police officers beat me up they hurt me like being the cell to heal and wouldn't put me in population until my wounds went away I'm very emotionally damaged father and I'm very scared that just because I can't forget those things that I committed and I know that everything is going to be accountable for in the day of judgment of the great right throne and I'm terrified of hell and I'm very scared of him and I never want to be in the torment of hell and father I fear your wrath and I'm very very sorry will you please forgive me and we'll Google please forgive me and for people in the human world will they forgive me
 
We hear your cry and we stand with you in humility and honesty before the Father in Jesus name, thanking God that you have come with a broken and contrite heart confessing your sin and believing that the Son died and rose again on the third day. That confession is precious to God and we rejoice that you have turned to Him, for it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and there is no other name by which we can be saved. As it is written, if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9 and Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12.

We want to affirm your confession and also lovingly rebuke and correct what needs to be addressed. Watching explicit videos and pornography is sin against God. It is not of God and it defiles the heart and mind. Jesus taught that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart Matthew 5:28 and Scripture commands us to flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body 1 Corinthians 6:18. This includes pornography, which is fornication of the heart and trains the mind away from purity and from God's design for sexuality, which is reserved for marriage between a man and a woman. We must call it what it is so that you can fully turn from it, not to heap more shame on you, but to lead you into freedom. God calls us to be transformed by the renewing of your mind Romans 12:2 and to make no provision for the flesh.

We are deeply grieved to hear of the terrible abuse you suffered as a child, watching your mother be beaten, being beaten in school, being sent to facilities where you were abused again, and being beaten by police officers and hidden away until your wounds healed. The Lord sees all of this and He has not forgotten your pain. He is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18 and He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. The trauma you endured does not excuse sin, but it helps us understand the deep emotional wounds and the ways the enemy has tried to use that pain to drive you toward sinful coping. God wants to heal you, not just forgive you. Your fear and your shame and your terror about the day of judgment and hell are understandable, but we want to lead you from fear into the assurance that is found in Christ.

When we confess our sins, God is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. If you have truly turned to Jesus with faith, your sins are not merely covered, they are removed. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us Psalm 103:12 and God says I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake and I will not remember your sins Isaiah 43:25. You said you are scared because you cannot forget the things you have done. Forgiveness does not require that you forget, it requires that God forgets in the sense that He will never hold those sins against you again. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus Romans 8:1. Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow Isaiah 1:18. Your shame can go away not because you try harder to forget, but because you receive what Jesus already did on the cross, where the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord Romans 6:23.

We also want to gently correct the fear that you will still face the wrath of God in torment if you are in Christ. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but for the child of God, perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment. He who fears is not made perfect in love 1 John 4:18. If you are in Christ, you will not stand at the great white throne judgment for condemnation, you will stand before Christ as His beloved, for we are saved by grace through faith, and that not of yourselves it is the gift of God, not of works, that no one would boast Ephesians 2:8-9. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new 2 Corinthians 5:17.

You asked if people in this world will forgive you. We pray they will, and we encourage you to confess to trustworthy godly people for healing, for it is written confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed James 5:16. But human forgiveness, even when it does not come, does not determine your standing with God. God’s forgiveness is full and final when you come through Jesus.

We pray together for you now.

Father in heaven, Creator, we come before Your throne of grace in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son who died and rose again. We lift up this dear soul who comes in humility, honesty and sincerity confessing great sin against You and confessing that he is a sinner in need of mercy. Lord, we ask You to forgive him according to Your promise, to wash him clean by the blood of Jesus, to cleanse him from all unrighteousness and to remove his shame. Father, heal the deep wounds from childhood molestation, abuse, violence, rejection and beatings. Touch the memories that torment him and let Your perfect love cast out his terror of hell and judgment. Give him assurance that he is Yours, that there is no condemnation in Christ, and that he can draw near with boldness to Your throne to receive mercy and grace Hebrews 4:16. Lord, deliver him from the bondage of pornography and lust, give him strength to flee sexual immorality, to turn his eyes away from worthless things Psalm 119:37, to renew his mind in Your Word, and to walk in purity. Provide him with godly brothers, counselors and accountability to walk with him, and lead him to hate what You hate and love what You love. Replace his shame with Your peace that surpasses all understanding Philippians 4:7 and help him to know he is a new creation in Christ. We ask that You would also work in the hearts of those he has sinned against, and grant reconciliation where it is Your will. Let him know that You are his Father and that You will never leave him nor forsake him. We pray all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, amen.

We encourage you to continue to walk in repentance, not just feeling sorry but turning away daily. Remove access to explicit material completely, install filters, invite a mature Christian believer to hold you accountable, and immerse yourself in Scripture each day. When temptation comes, flee and pray immediately. Seek a Bible believing church and consider Christian counseling for the trauma you endured, so that those wounds can be healed in Christ. God has heard your prayer, and we urge you to rest in His forgiveness and to keep following Jesus with your whole heart.
 
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We hear how sincerely you want to be forgiven and free from shame, and how heavy the fear you carry has become. Thank you for telling the truth so plainly about the struggle with explicit videos and about the painful history you have lived through as a child, seeing your mom get hurt, being beaten at school, being harmed in facilities and by police. None of that abuse was your fault, and it makes sense that you feel emotionally wounded and scared now.

Wanting shame to lift and to know you are forgiven is a good and right desire. God sees both the sins you are confessing and the wounds that were done to you, and He does not confuse the two. Coming to Him in humility and honesty as you have is the right place to be.

A steady next step we encourage is to bring both parts into the light with a safe person alongside prayer. If you have a trusted pastor or a Christian counselor, consider reaching out this week and sharing what you wrote here. For the ongoing pull toward pornography, many find it helps to have regular accountability and support rather than trying to fight it alone. A counselor can also help you process the trauma history with care and at your own pace.

Father, we lift this dear brother to You. You know his story, his sorrow, and his sincere desire for Your forgiveness and cleansing through Jesus. Quiet his fear, lift the weight of shame, and give him clear assurance of Your mercy. Guide him to safe, wise help and lead him step by step in Your will. In Jesus name, amen.
 
Your honest confession before the Lord is itself a token of mercy at work in your soul, for it is the Lord who gives repentance and remission of sins and it is the Holy Spirit who makes a man willing to be searched and probed and to surrender the keys of the most secret chambers of his heart.

You have come with two great burdens, and the Lord sees them both. There is the sin which you have owned, the watching of explicit images and the doing of things that are not of God, and there is the wound which was done to you, when as a child you were molested and abused, when you saw violence in your home, when you were beaten in school and in places that should have given care and in cells where those with power hurt you. The first is guilt which needs cleansing, the second is grief and injury which needs healing, and the gospel meets both, for pardon and healing are one when Jesus comes to dwell with a man.

Do not think that God will turn away a sinner who comes to Him through Jesus Christ alone. The Scriptures declare, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. The Lord Jesus is exalted on high to give repentance and remission of sins. He takes that terrible, hell kindling thing, sin itself, upon Himself, and bears it away. Earth and hell could never take away a single sin from a single soul, but Christ has done it by His precious blood. If you look to Him whom you have pierced and mourn for Him, if you trust not in your own sorrow or sincerity but in His finished work, you may know that your guilt is taken away and blessedness is bestowed, and neither men nor devils can reverse that benediction.

You speak of terror, of the great white throne and of hell, and you say you fear His wrath. That fear has its right use, for it awakens the conscience, but hear this truth. There is a repentance that is only of the flesh, a few qualms of conscience because a man is in dread of death and judgment, and such repentance alone will not save. True repentance glorifies the sovereignty of God in His mercy and says, Lord, I have no claim upon You, I have no right but to be punished, yet I look to Your love in Christ. A repentance which makes you weep and abhor your past life because of the love of Christ which has pardoned it, is the right repentance. Faith and repentance are inseparable, twin born at the same moment by the Spirit. One strips, the other clothes, and blessed is the place where the two meet at the foot of the cross. Do you see the desert of hell which sin deserves, and do you see the cross where Christ bore that desert for sinners? Look there, not only to your fear, but to His love.

You ask if shame can go away. It can, because Jesus hid not His face from shame and spitting. He gave His back to the smiters and His cheeks to them that plucked off the hair for sinners. He was despised and rejected of men, that He might bear our reproach. He knows what it is to be mocked and beaten and wrongfully afflicted, and He can sympathize with you in all the cruelty you have suffered at the hands of others. Your shame before God is removed when your sin is forgiven, and your wounds before men are not despised by Him. He is the Sun of Righteousness risen with healing in His wings, and He says to the sick soul, Son, be of good cheer, your sins are forgiven you.

You ask, will God forgive me, and will people forgive me. Hear the promise preached in His name, that repentance and remission of sins should be preached among all people. Wherever there is real repentance, a heart turned away from sin to trust in Jesus, it is the sure and infallible sign of pardon. The Lord Himself has said, Who is a God like unto You, that pardons iniquity and passes by transgression. If you confess and forsake what is evil and rest wholly upon Christ, you may know you are forgiven. As for men, seek where you can to walk honestly and make confession where you have wronged others, for the man who beholds the pardon of God becomes honest and desires to know the worst of his case. Yet whether men forgive or not, if God has blessed you with forgiveness in Christ, that blessing stands.

Now, because God forgives, He also calls you to forsake. The fever of sin grows into habit and increases as it is indulged, and he that drinks of that black well shall thirst again. The Lord's design for our bodies is holy and good, that sex and living together belong within the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman in marriage. What is outside that covenant, whether in act or in image, is sin against the Lord and against your own soul. Do not cherish it nor make provision for it. Turn from it as you would turn from poison, and pray for the Spirit's power to make you clean. This is not to earn pardon, but to prove that pardon has been received and that you now fear the Lord with a filial fear which is born of forgiveness.

You say you are emotionally damaged and cannot forget. The Lord does not ask you to forget by your own strength, but to bring your memory and your terror to Him. He must be told of your sorrow and brought into the house of your heart to look upon you with His healing touch. Low thoughts of God create doubts of pardon, but high thoughts of His mercy in Christ create hope. Cry to Him in prayer, for prayer itself is a fruit of forgiveness and a large part of the fear of the Lord.

I pray for you that you will go to your knees and say, Father, I have sinned greatly and have no claim but Your mercy, I believe Your Son died and rose again for sinners, forgive me for His sake, cleanse me from this sin, heal the wounds done to me, and teach me to walk in Your way. And then rise and seek the help of faithful pastors and brethren in a true church of Christ, where you can walk in light, find accountability to put away what defiles, and receive counsel for the deep hurts you carry. The Lord who has begun this honesty in you will not cast you away. Look to Jesus, trust His blood, turn from what is evil, and you shall find that perfect love casts out the tormenting fear, and gives instead a holy fear which loves and rests and obeys.
 
Saying it out loud takes its own kind of courage. There's a short spoken prayer called the Addiction Clearing Prayer on the One Prayer at a Time YouTube channel, prayed over loosening addiction's hold, and you only have to listen. I hope the hold starts loosening.
 

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