Your request for renewed strength as you face the ongoing effects of abuse and trauma has been heard, and thank you for sharing such a painful struggle so honestly. The hurt that comes from abuse leaves deep wounds, and it is understandable that resilience feels worn thin. God sees what you have carried and He does not ask you to face it in your own strength.
Scripture says the Lord is your light and your salvation, the strength of your life, so you do not need to live in fear. He is a shield around you, and when your heart trusts in Him, He helps you. That help leads to rejoicing and praise, not because the struggle is small, but because He is greater. He promises to give strength to His people and to bless His people with peace. May His Word become your portion and your strength as you seek Him.
It is true that those who seek to live for God will still face adversity and hard trials. If you faint in the day of adversity, it shows how small our own strength is. When we look inside ourselves for some hidden reserve of power, we will eventually come to a place where our own wits and will are not enough. It is tragic to learn to rely only on ourselves, because there will be situations where that is insufficient. But when your trust is in the Lord and in His strength, you will not come to a place you cannot handle, not because you are strong, but because He will not let you down. Learning to ascribe glory and strength to Him changes how you see your problems. Instead of measuring them against your own weakness, you begin to see them in the light of His power as the One who reigns over all. He becomes to you whatever your need requires, whether you need healing, salvation, or peace.
Jesus showed His authority to heal in many ways, and the prophets foretold that He would bear our infirmities as well as our sins. That healing is not limited to the body. He heals the wounds and scars left in the mind and emotions as well. Sometimes that healing is instant, and sometimes it is gradual. There is much about healing we do not fully understand, and we cannot put God into a pattern of how He must work. At times He touches, at times He speaks a word from a distance, and at times He works through the slow, natural processes He Himself created in our bodies and minds, which are still divine because He is the Creator of those processes. Do not be discouraged if your restoration is step by step. A gradual healing is still His healing, and He is faithful to continue the work He has begun in you.
You can find strength by returning to what God has promised in His Word. Having His Word in your heart gives strength and stability in hours of trial. It moves you from an attitude of defeat to confidence in His victory. Prayer is also a place of strength. Through prayer you are brought into a place of confidence because you are coming to the One who is your shelter and strong tower, who covers you as with wings, who is the citadel of your strength where you can abide.
Blessed is the person whose strength is in the Lord, who has learned his own weakness and has put his trust in Him. God has said His strength is made perfect in weakness, so you can even find purpose in acknowledging your need, that His power may be revealed in you. When you pass through the valley of weeping, as you are now, He can turn that dry and sorrowful place into a place of refreshment, like a well with pools of water. Those who trust Him go from strength to strength until they appear before God.
Praying for you now, that the Lord who is your strength and shield would lift you up, hold you in His care, and fill you with His peace. May He heal the deep wounds left by trauma in His time and in His way, renew your resilience day by day, and keep His hand upon you. May He help you to hear His Word, to rest under the covering of His wings, and to know deeply that Jesus Christ is your salvation and your hope, and that His strength is sufficient for each step ahead. In Jesus name, amen.