Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing your heart so openly and for wanting to honor the Lord in this relationship. Your desire for pure intentions is good and right before God, and it is right to bring these struggles to Him in prayer.
God desires above all a close and loving relationship with you as His child. He does not want only outward routine or rule keeping, but a living relationship where you know Him as Father and know how deeply He loves you. That vertical relationship with God is the center around which your whole life turns. When that relationship is right and healthy, every other relationship, including your relationship with your girlfriend, with possessions, and even your standing against the enemy, comes into better order. If that center is out of balance, other relationships will also be out of balance. So the first place to keep giving attention is your own walk with Jesus, loving Him supremely and letting His grace shape you.
It is true that following Jesus brings opposition. The enemy is real and he works through discouragement, accusation, division and temptation to hinder what God wants to do. This is a spiritual battle, and it cannot be fought with human effort or arguments alone. God has given spiritual protection for this. Be grounded in truth, for Jesus Himself is the truth, and let the Word of God dwell richly in your heart. The Word both defends you and helps break the hold of the enemy. Prayer is essential, and prayer should also be joined with practical watchfulness. It is not enough to pray and then be passive. Like those who prayed and also set a watch day and night, take practical steps to guard what God has entrusted to you.
In a dating relationship that means choosing purity in a very practical way. Scripture calls you to keep yourself pure and to pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace with a pure heart. Pure intentions are shown by pure actions. If you are living for Jesus, that will mean saving sexual intimacy and living together for the covenant of marriage alone, setting clear boundaries, being accountable, seeking wise counsel, and communicating honestly and kindly. These choices are part of watching over your hearts.
It also helps to recognize the nature of the attack so you are not drawn into merely fighting each other in the flesh. When you feel tension, recognize the spiritual pressure behind it, keep the Lord between you and the enemy, resist the enemy in the strength Christ gives, and rejoice that Jesus has already defeated him. Greater is He who is with you than any force that comes against you. When fear or discouragement rises because you are looking at the size of the problem, the cure is to look again to the Lord and remember His presence and power.
You mentioned the words, Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. That promise speaks specifically to marriage, the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman that God Himself joins. Dating, even serious dating, is not yet that covenant. It is a time to seek wisdom and discern whether the Lord is leading you both toward marriage. Rather than claiming that verse over a dating relationship as if it is already a marriage, ask God to make His will clear, to give you both wisdom, and if it is His will to lead you into marriage, to build that future covenant on purity, truth and a shared love for Christ now.
My prayer for you both is that each of you will grow in that intimate, loving relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ, that you will be clothed with truth and strengthened by the Word and by prayer, that you will have wisdom to take practical steps toward purity and healthy communication, that you will resist the enemy and stand firm in the victory Jesus has won, and that you will follow righteousness, faith, love and peace together. May the Lord guide you clearly concerning His will for your future, and may whatever you do be done in a way that honors Him and keeps your hearts pure before Him.
God desires above all a close and loving relationship with you as His child. He does not want only outward routine or rule keeping, but a living relationship where you know Him as Father and know how deeply He loves you. That vertical relationship with God is the center around which your whole life turns. When that relationship is right and healthy, every other relationship, including your relationship with your girlfriend, with possessions, and even your standing against the enemy, comes into better order. If that center is out of balance, other relationships will also be out of balance. So the first place to keep giving attention is your own walk with Jesus, loving Him supremely and letting His grace shape you.
It is true that following Jesus brings opposition. The enemy is real and he works through discouragement, accusation, division and temptation to hinder what God wants to do. This is a spiritual battle, and it cannot be fought with human effort or arguments alone. God has given spiritual protection for this. Be grounded in truth, for Jesus Himself is the truth, and let the Word of God dwell richly in your heart. The Word both defends you and helps break the hold of the enemy. Prayer is essential, and prayer should also be joined with practical watchfulness. It is not enough to pray and then be passive. Like those who prayed and also set a watch day and night, take practical steps to guard what God has entrusted to you.
In a dating relationship that means choosing purity in a very practical way. Scripture calls you to keep yourself pure and to pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace with a pure heart. Pure intentions are shown by pure actions. If you are living for Jesus, that will mean saving sexual intimacy and living together for the covenant of marriage alone, setting clear boundaries, being accountable, seeking wise counsel, and communicating honestly and kindly. These choices are part of watching over your hearts.
It also helps to recognize the nature of the attack so you are not drawn into merely fighting each other in the flesh. When you feel tension, recognize the spiritual pressure behind it, keep the Lord between you and the enemy, resist the enemy in the strength Christ gives, and rejoice that Jesus has already defeated him. Greater is He who is with you than any force that comes against you. When fear or discouragement rises because you are looking at the size of the problem, the cure is to look again to the Lord and remember His presence and power.
You mentioned the words, Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. That promise speaks specifically to marriage, the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman that God Himself joins. Dating, even serious dating, is not yet that covenant. It is a time to seek wisdom and discern whether the Lord is leading you both toward marriage. Rather than claiming that verse over a dating relationship as if it is already a marriage, ask God to make His will clear, to give you both wisdom, and if it is His will to lead you into marriage, to build that future covenant on purity, truth and a shared love for Christ now.
My prayer for you both is that each of you will grow in that intimate, loving relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ, that you will be clothed with truth and strengthened by the Word and by prayer, that you will have wisdom to take practical steps toward purity and healthy communication, that you will resist the enemy and stand firm in the victory Jesus has won, and that you will follow righteousness, faith, love and peace together. May the Lord guide you clearly concerning His will for your future, and may whatever you do be done in a way that honors Him and keeps your hearts pure before Him.
