Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.
Relationship
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. You are hoping for a miracle, yet your hope wavers because what you see is a man who drinks, takes drugs, and listens to everyone but you. But faith brings what is not seen to the same full assurance as what is clearly seen. Do not give up praying, for God can make things not yet seen as solid as if they were already in your hands.
But hear this also: nothing is more pleasurable than virtue, nothing sweeter than orderliness. Your soul is more precious than a daughter; we watch a daughter strictly, yet we let our soul be defiled by innumerable wicked thoughts. Guard your soul now, lest despair and anxiety break you in two. You are trying to be strong for your newborn, but first be strong in the Lord by keeping your own mind pure from frustration and sinful imaginings.
You ask for your partner to grow up and become a loving father and head of your family. Yet consider what kind of husband is truly a protector. Seek not money, nor splendor of family, nor any such thing; seek piety of soul, gentleness, true understanding, the fear of God. For if you seek a wealthier or more appealing man, you may make yourself a slave instead of free. He who cannot rule his own house, how shall he care for the church of God? Even so, a man who allows others to control his thinking and who does not manage his own appetites cannot rule his household well. It is right to desire that he become sober, grave, and subject his children and his own life to order. But that change must come from his own heart turned toward God.
Instead of merely wishing, beseech Christ to be present in this matter. Say to God, "Whomsoever Thou wilt, do Thou provide." If this man will not walk in the fear of the Lord, then ask God to give you wisdom about whether he is indeed a husband fit for your soul. For a true marriage is not of passion or the flesh, but a spiritual union where two become one spirit with the Lord. If he continues in drunkenness and unfaithfulness, you are called to holiness. Marriage is pure, yet it preserves the holiness that comes from faith only when it forbids defilement. If you are not yet married, remain pure; let him marry you, or keep yourself from what is not holy.
Do not be like those who deck themselves with outward ornaments and neglect the soul. Adorn yourself with gentleness and modesty, and seek a husband who will be a head, not a master. Until then, follow peace with all, and holiness. Put your trust fully in God, for He honors those who commit their way to Him. Faith can make the unseen resurrection of your hope appear in your heart even now.
But hear this also: nothing is more pleasurable than virtue, nothing sweeter than orderliness. Your soul is more precious than a daughter; we watch a daughter strictly, yet we let our soul be defiled by innumerable wicked thoughts. Guard your soul now, lest despair and anxiety break you in two. You are trying to be strong for your newborn, but first be strong in the Lord by keeping your own mind pure from frustration and sinful imaginings.
You ask for your partner to grow up and become a loving father and head of your family. Yet consider what kind of husband is truly a protector. Seek not money, nor splendor of family, nor any such thing; seek piety of soul, gentleness, true understanding, the fear of God. For if you seek a wealthier or more appealing man, you may make yourself a slave instead of free. He who cannot rule his own house, how shall he care for the church of God? Even so, a man who allows others to control his thinking and who does not manage his own appetites cannot rule his household well. It is right to desire that he become sober, grave, and subject his children and his own life to order. But that change must come from his own heart turned toward God.
Instead of merely wishing, beseech Christ to be present in this matter. Say to God, "Whomsoever Thou wilt, do Thou provide." If this man will not walk in the fear of the Lord, then ask God to give you wisdom about whether he is indeed a husband fit for your soul. For a true marriage is not of passion or the flesh, but a spiritual union where two become one spirit with the Lord. If he continues in drunkenness and unfaithfulness, you are called to holiness. Marriage is pure, yet it preserves the holiness that comes from faith only when it forbids defilement. If you are not yet married, remain pure; let him marry you, or keep yourself from what is not holy.
Do not be like those who deck themselves with outward ornaments and neglect the soul. Adorn yourself with gentleness and modesty, and seek a husband who will be a head, not a master. Until then, follow peace with all, and holiness. Put your trust fully in God, for He honors those who commit their way to Him. Faith can make the unseen resurrection of your hope appear in your heart even now.
Silas
Beloved of All
The weight you are carrying is immense, and it is not wrong that you feel it pressing down on you. You are trying to hold together a home while exhausted, pouring out your heart for your daughter’s sake, and watching the man you want to build a life with drift further away. In that place of near despair, the most important thing is not to muster more effort of your own, but to find where your true help comes from. Prayer is exactly the right place to bring this, but we need to understand what prayer is and what it does.
Prayer always begins with relationship. You are not crying into an empty sky; you are speaking to the one who made you, and if you have put your trust in Jesus Christ, you have the right to call him Father. That relationship is the unshakable ground beneath your feet. When you pray, you are not trying to earn his attention by being worthy enough. We never come because we have performed well; we come on the basis of his mercy. David, when he was in deep trouble, cried out, “Save me, O God, by your name,” and then he added, “Hear my prayer, O God; give ear to the words of my mouth.” The confidence David had was not in his own goodness, but in God’s character. So you can start right there: Father, I have no strength, I have no claim, but I belong to you. Be merciful to me. That is a prayer he always hears.
Now, many times we try to use prayer to bend another person’s will. We want God to force a change, to make someone grow up, to harden a heart we want hardened or soften a heart we want softened. But God will not violate the free will he gave to your partner. Prayer opens the door for God to do what he has been longing to do, but he does not override another person’s choices. That means your prayer is not a lever to control him; it is a surrender of the whole situation into the hands of a Father who sees what you cannot see. You are asking for a miracle, and that is right, but the most genuine miracle may first take place inside your own heart. When you turn your mind and your anxiety over to God, you begin to experience his strength lifting you from the despair. Many times, I have ended a prayer still not knowing how things will work out, but the fear is gone, and in its place is a quiet confidence: God is going to take care of this. That is what he wants to do for you.
I hear you saying that you are trying to keep the family together, and I understand the desperation of that. But your own strength will not be enough. God’s strength is made perfect right in the middle of your weakness. The apostle Paul once reached a point of utter despair over the struggle inside him and cried, “O wretched man that I am!” But he did not stay there; he looked to the deliverance that comes through Jesus Christ. The Spirit of God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. So when you feel you cannot take another thing, do not look inward for some reserve of energy. Look to him and say, “Lord, I am poor and needy; you are my help and my deliverer. Be my refuge.” That kind of prayer is a cure for the blues, for discouragement, for hopelessness.
Let me gently point something out: the deepest longing behind your words is for someone to love you and to make you feel secure. A partner who drinks, uses drugs, and listens to voices urging unfaithfulness is not a safe place for your heart. I cannot tell you what the path ahead will look like exactly, but God’s will is never for you to remain in sin or to bind yourself to what is destroying you. If you are not married, the solution is not simply for him to become a more loving man while the relationship stays on a foundation that ignores God’s design. God’s paths are mercy and truth. He wants to lead you in his ways, not just patch up a broken arrangement with a little more effort. The prayer Jesus taught us starts with “Your kingdom come, your will be done.” It is not an instrument for getting our will done on earth; it is an instrument for getting God’s will done. So I encourage you to bring that honest surrender into your prayers: “Lord, what do you want? Show me your ways, teach me your paths. I want what you want for my life and for my daughter, even if it costs me something.”
That does not mean you stop praying for the father of your baby. You can and should intercede for him, that his heart would be turned away from the destruction of substance abuse and disloyalty, and above all that he would come to know Jesus Christ if he does not. You can ask that God would put people in his life to speak truth, and that his own spirit would hunger for something more than the empty voices he is following. But you must release the outcome. You are not the savior of this man, and you are not the one who holds the family together in your own strength. Put your anchor in the Lord. He is your hope; he has been the trust of his people from their youth, just as David was helped as a young boy against a giant.
As you continue praying, let your prayer be filled not only with petitions but with worship. Take a few minutes just to dwell on who God is: the Father who sees, the Rock that does not move, the Shepherd who lifts up his lambs. That will steady your soul. Then let your prayer move into honest requests for yourself: for wisdom in every decision, for protection over your daughter’s heart, for courage to do what is right even when it is hard. And then intercede for others, including those who are causing you pain, not in bitterness but asking God to bring his truth into their lives.
You are not forgotten. The Father’s ear is always open to the cry of his child. Cry out to him boldly, but lay down the weight of trying to control what only he can touch. He will give you enough grace for today, and little by little you will see him working, perhaps in ways you never expected. Let your prayer end in rejoicing, even with tears, because your help comes from the Maker of heaven and earth.
Prayer always begins with relationship. You are not crying into an empty sky; you are speaking to the one who made you, and if you have put your trust in Jesus Christ, you have the right to call him Father. That relationship is the unshakable ground beneath your feet. When you pray, you are not trying to earn his attention by being worthy enough. We never come because we have performed well; we come on the basis of his mercy. David, when he was in deep trouble, cried out, “Save me, O God, by your name,” and then he added, “Hear my prayer, O God; give ear to the words of my mouth.” The confidence David had was not in his own goodness, but in God’s character. So you can start right there: Father, I have no strength, I have no claim, but I belong to you. Be merciful to me. That is a prayer he always hears.
Now, many times we try to use prayer to bend another person’s will. We want God to force a change, to make someone grow up, to harden a heart we want hardened or soften a heart we want softened. But God will not violate the free will he gave to your partner. Prayer opens the door for God to do what he has been longing to do, but he does not override another person’s choices. That means your prayer is not a lever to control him; it is a surrender of the whole situation into the hands of a Father who sees what you cannot see. You are asking for a miracle, and that is right, but the most genuine miracle may first take place inside your own heart. When you turn your mind and your anxiety over to God, you begin to experience his strength lifting you from the despair. Many times, I have ended a prayer still not knowing how things will work out, but the fear is gone, and in its place is a quiet confidence: God is going to take care of this. That is what he wants to do for you.
I hear you saying that you are trying to keep the family together, and I understand the desperation of that. But your own strength will not be enough. God’s strength is made perfect right in the middle of your weakness. The apostle Paul once reached a point of utter despair over the struggle inside him and cried, “O wretched man that I am!” But he did not stay there; he looked to the deliverance that comes through Jesus Christ. The Spirit of God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. So when you feel you cannot take another thing, do not look inward for some reserve of energy. Look to him and say, “Lord, I am poor and needy; you are my help and my deliverer. Be my refuge.” That kind of prayer is a cure for the blues, for discouragement, for hopelessness.
Let me gently point something out: the deepest longing behind your words is for someone to love you and to make you feel secure. A partner who drinks, uses drugs, and listens to voices urging unfaithfulness is not a safe place for your heart. I cannot tell you what the path ahead will look like exactly, but God’s will is never for you to remain in sin or to bind yourself to what is destroying you. If you are not married, the solution is not simply for him to become a more loving man while the relationship stays on a foundation that ignores God’s design. God’s paths are mercy and truth. He wants to lead you in his ways, not just patch up a broken arrangement with a little more effort. The prayer Jesus taught us starts with “Your kingdom come, your will be done.” It is not an instrument for getting our will done on earth; it is an instrument for getting God’s will done. So I encourage you to bring that honest surrender into your prayers: “Lord, what do you want? Show me your ways, teach me your paths. I want what you want for my life and for my daughter, even if it costs me something.”
That does not mean you stop praying for the father of your baby. You can and should intercede for him, that his heart would be turned away from the destruction of substance abuse and disloyalty, and above all that he would come to know Jesus Christ if he does not. You can ask that God would put people in his life to speak truth, and that his own spirit would hunger for something more than the empty voices he is following. But you must release the outcome. You are not the savior of this man, and you are not the one who holds the family together in your own strength. Put your anchor in the Lord. He is your hope; he has been the trust of his people from their youth, just as David was helped as a young boy against a giant.
As you continue praying, let your prayer be filled not only with petitions but with worship. Take a few minutes just to dwell on who God is: the Father who sees, the Rock that does not move, the Shepherd who lifts up his lambs. That will steady your soul. Then let your prayer move into honest requests for yourself: for wisdom in every decision, for protection over your daughter’s heart, for courage to do what is right even when it is hard. And then intercede for others, including those who are causing you pain, not in bitterness but asking God to bring his truth into their lives.
You are not forgotten. The Father’s ear is always open to the cry of his child. Cry out to him boldly, but lay down the weight of trying to control what only he can touch. He will give you enough grace for today, and little by little you will see him working, perhaps in ways you never expected. Let your prayer end in rejoicing, even with tears, because your help comes from the Maker of heaven and earth.
We want to thank you for the privilege of standing with you in prayer during this incredibly difficult season. It’s clear how deeply you love your daughter and how much you long to see her father step into the role God has called him to—one of love, responsibility, and faithfulness. We’ve been lifting up your family before the Lord, asking Him to soften hearts, break chains of addiction and influence, and bring healing to your relationship. We’ve prayed for wisdom for you, strength to endure, and clarity to know when to hold on and when to let go, always trusting in God’s perfect will.
If the Lord has moved in mighty ways since you shared your request—if there’s been even the smallest shift toward reconciliation, repentance, or peace—we would be overjoyed to hear your praise report. Your testimony could be an encouragement to others walking through similar struggles. But if the weight of this situation still feels heavy, if the battle rages on, or if new challenges have arisen, please don’t hesitate to share it with us again. We’re here to continue praying alongside you, believing with you for the miracle only God can bring.
Above all, we pray that you would feel the Father’s unshakable love for you in this time. You are not forgotten, and your daughter is seen. May God give you the courage to keep seeking Him, the discernment to walk in His truth, and the peace that surpasses all understanding as you trust in His timing. We stand with you, believing that He is working even when we can’t see it, and we lift this request up once more in Jesus’ name. Amen.
If the Lord has moved in mighty ways since you shared your request—if there’s been even the smallest shift toward reconciliation, repentance, or peace—we would be overjoyed to hear your praise report. Your testimony could be an encouragement to others walking through similar struggles. But if the weight of this situation still feels heavy, if the battle rages on, or if new challenges have arisen, please don’t hesitate to share it with us again. We’re here to continue praying alongside you, believing with you for the miracle only God can bring.
Above all, we pray that you would feel the Father’s unshakable love for you in this time. You are not forgotten, and your daughter is seen. May God give you the courage to keep seeking Him, the discernment to walk in His truth, and the peace that surpasses all understanding as you trust in His timing. We stand with you, believing that He is working even when we can’t see it, and we lift this request up once more in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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