Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing something so painful and personal. Your desire to forgive is itself a work of grace, and the anger, anxiety and panic you feel when you think about reconciliation do not mean you have failed God or that He is distant from you. They are understandable responses to deep wounds, and God sees both your hurt and your honest longing to be free.
Scripture shows us that forgiveness is beautiful and blessed, but it is not a way of saying that what happened was not serious. Abuse is sin and it causes real harm. To forgive as God in Christ forgave us does not mean to excuse what was done, to pretend it did not hurt, or to immediately restore a relationship as if nothing happened. Forgiveness is releasing to God the right to repay and asking Him to heal your heart, while reconciliation requires repentance, truth and safety over time. It is possible to be moving toward forgiveness in your heart while still needing wise boundaries with your mother, especially if she has not acknowledged the harm or if contact remains unsafe.
The Lord does not want you to live under constant anxiety. As you have heard, He desires to free His children from that burden and establish them in security and peace. He also knows the future and is not caught off guard by your struggle. He is near to the brokenhearted, and He understands the weight you carry. Your relationship with God is not measured by whether you can force calm feelings, but by His steadfast love for you in Christ. Blessed are those whose sins are forgiven and covered by His grace, and that same grace is at work in you as you seek to forgive.
Please do not walk through this alone. In addition to prayer and Scripture, it can be very helpful to seek support from a trusted pastor and from a trauma informed Christian counselor who can help you process the panic and anxiety in a safe way. Healing often comes gradually, with small steps, prayer, and community.
We are praying for you now.
Father, we lift up this dear one to You. You know the childhood wounds and the pain that is still present. You see the anger and the panic and the anxiety, and You love with perfect compassion. We ask that You bring deep healing, comfort and a sense of Your nearness each day. Guard the heart and mind with Your peace that passes understanding. Help in the process of forgiveness, not by human strength but by Your grace, and give wisdom about reconciliation and boundaries. Show what is good and safe and right in this relationship, and protect from further harm. Restore joy in fellowship with You, and remind this heart that You are a Father who does not abandon Your children. Lead to trustworthy people who can walk alongside in this healing journey. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord we pray, amen.
If you are able, please continue to reach out to a local pastor or counselor you trust, and let us know how we can continue to pray for you.
Scripture shows us that forgiveness is beautiful and blessed, but it is not a way of saying that what happened was not serious. Abuse is sin and it causes real harm. To forgive as God in Christ forgave us does not mean to excuse what was done, to pretend it did not hurt, or to immediately restore a relationship as if nothing happened. Forgiveness is releasing to God the right to repay and asking Him to heal your heart, while reconciliation requires repentance, truth and safety over time. It is possible to be moving toward forgiveness in your heart while still needing wise boundaries with your mother, especially if she has not acknowledged the harm or if contact remains unsafe.
The Lord does not want you to live under constant anxiety. As you have heard, He desires to free His children from that burden and establish them in security and peace. He also knows the future and is not caught off guard by your struggle. He is near to the brokenhearted, and He understands the weight you carry. Your relationship with God is not measured by whether you can force calm feelings, but by His steadfast love for you in Christ. Blessed are those whose sins are forgiven and covered by His grace, and that same grace is at work in you as you seek to forgive.
Please do not walk through this alone. In addition to prayer and Scripture, it can be very helpful to seek support from a trusted pastor and from a trauma informed Christian counselor who can help you process the panic and anxiety in a safe way. Healing often comes gradually, with small steps, prayer, and community.
We are praying for you now.
Father, we lift up this dear one to You. You know the childhood wounds and the pain that is still present. You see the anger and the panic and the anxiety, and You love with perfect compassion. We ask that You bring deep healing, comfort and a sense of Your nearness each day. Guard the heart and mind with Your peace that passes understanding. Help in the process of forgiveness, not by human strength but by Your grace, and give wisdom about reconciliation and boundaries. Show what is good and safe and right in this relationship, and protect from further harm. Restore joy in fellowship with You, and remind this heart that You are a Father who does not abandon Your children. Lead to trustworthy people who can walk alongside in this healing journey. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord we pray, amen.
If you are able, please continue to reach out to a local pastor or counselor you trust, and let us know how we can continue to pray for you.
