There are some old relationships in my life that I think God may want to mend. Please pray that if He does, He would bring about that restoration and make it very clear that He wants it to come about. This may be prideful but please also pray that He would mercifully bring reconciliation in a way that would be easier on me because I'm afraid of reaching out to these individuals first (but I will do it if God wants and with His strength) due to the amount of negative things that have happened between us. Thank you.
Reconciliation
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We join you in bringing this desire for reconciliation before the Lord and we thank you for your honest and humble heart in sharing it. We hear your longing for restoration where God wills it, your desire for His clear guidance, and also your fear about taking the first step after much hurt has happened between you and these individuals. It is not prideful to ask God for mercy and for a gentle way forward, it is human and He understands our weakness. At the same time we want to encourage you with what Scripture teaches about reconciliation and about courage in obedience.
God Himself is the great reconciler. We were separated from Him by sin and He took the initiative to restore us through Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:18 says that God reconciled us to himself through Jesus Christ, and gave to us the ministry of reconciliation. Ephesians 4:32 calls us to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. Colossians 3:13 also urges us to bear with one another and forgive each other. Forgiveness is our responsibility before God regardless of the other person's response, while restoration of fellowship often depends on both parties and requires wisdom, repentance, and time. Romans 12:18 reminds us, If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men.
We also hear your fear about reaching out first. Fear is natural when there has been pain, but Scripture encourages us not to be ruled by it. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. Isaiah 41:10 says do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Your willingness to obey even if God asks you to go first is a beautiful sign of humility, and God gives grace to the humble as James 4:6 teaches. Matthew 5:23-24 shows the heart God desires, that if we remember a broken relationship we should go and be reconciled as far as it depends on us. That does not mean we force reconciliation, but that we are willing to take the step He shows us, trusting Him with the outcome even if the other person is not ready.
We gently want to point out that your request does not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 teaches there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our heart that God raised Him from the dead, we will be saved as Romans 10:9 promises. It is because of His sacrifice and resurrection that we can boldly bring every fear and every broken relationship to God and know He hears us.
So we pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, and we lift up this dear one to You. We thank You that You see the history, the hurt, and the longing for healing. We ask first that You would search and cleanse our hearts, that we would forgive as You have forgiven us and be willing to repent where we have contributed to the brokenness. Lord, if it is Your will to restore these old relationships, we ask that You would make Your will very clear. Open doors that no man can shut, soften hearts on both sides, and provide unmistakable confirmation through Your Word, Your Spirit, and godly counsel as James 1:5 promises wisdom to those who ask. We ask for Your mercy in how You bring it about, and we also ask for courage to obey even when it is difficult. Take away the spirit of fear and fill us with Your power, love, and self-control. Help us to trust not in our own strength but in Yours, knowing You will uphold us. If reconciliation is not Your will or the other party is not willing, help us to still walk in forgiveness and peace as much as it is up to us, and to rest in Your perfect plan. Let Your peace which passes all understanding guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus as Philippians 4:7 promises. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord daily in prayer and in Scripture, asking Him to reveal any part you need to own and to give you wisdom about timing and words. Consider seeking counsel from a mature believer who knows you well. Remember that obedience is often the path to peace even when it feels frightening, and God honors a willing heart. We trust He will either clearly lead you to reach out with His strength or clearly show you to wait and continue praying, and either way He will be glorified as you walk humbly and lovingly before Him.
God Himself is the great reconciler. We were separated from Him by sin and He took the initiative to restore us through Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:18 says that God reconciled us to himself through Jesus Christ, and gave to us the ministry of reconciliation. Ephesians 4:32 calls us to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. Colossians 3:13 also urges us to bear with one another and forgive each other. Forgiveness is our responsibility before God regardless of the other person's response, while restoration of fellowship often depends on both parties and requires wisdom, repentance, and time. Romans 12:18 reminds us, If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men.
We also hear your fear about reaching out first. Fear is natural when there has been pain, but Scripture encourages us not to be ruled by it. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. Isaiah 41:10 says do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Your willingness to obey even if God asks you to go first is a beautiful sign of humility, and God gives grace to the humble as James 4:6 teaches. Matthew 5:23-24 shows the heart God desires, that if we remember a broken relationship we should go and be reconciled as far as it depends on us. That does not mean we force reconciliation, but that we are willing to take the step He shows us, trusting Him with the outcome even if the other person is not ready.
We gently want to point out that your request does not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 teaches there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our heart that God raised Him from the dead, we will be saved as Romans 10:9 promises. It is because of His sacrifice and resurrection that we can boldly bring every fear and every broken relationship to God and know He hears us.
So we pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, and we lift up this dear one to You. We thank You that You see the history, the hurt, and the longing for healing. We ask first that You would search and cleanse our hearts, that we would forgive as You have forgiven us and be willing to repent where we have contributed to the brokenness. Lord, if it is Your will to restore these old relationships, we ask that You would make Your will very clear. Open doors that no man can shut, soften hearts on both sides, and provide unmistakable confirmation through Your Word, Your Spirit, and godly counsel as James 1:5 promises wisdom to those who ask. We ask for Your mercy in how You bring it about, and we also ask for courage to obey even when it is difficult. Take away the spirit of fear and fill us with Your power, love, and self-control. Help us to trust not in our own strength but in Yours, knowing You will uphold us. If reconciliation is not Your will or the other party is not willing, help us to still walk in forgiveness and peace as much as it is up to us, and to rest in Your perfect plan. Let Your peace which passes all understanding guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus as Philippians 4:7 promises. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord daily in prayer and in Scripture, asking Him to reveal any part you need to own and to give you wisdom about timing and words. Consider seeking counsel from a mature believer who knows you well. Remember that obedience is often the path to peace even when it feels frightening, and God honors a willing heart. We trust He will either clearly lead you to reach out with His strength or clearly show you to wait and continue praying, and either way He will be glorified as you walk humbly and lovingly before Him.
We appreciate you sharing this so honestly. Wanting reconciliation but also feeling afraid to be the one to reach out first makes complete sense, especially when there has been a lot of hurt between you.
One thing that has helped others is remembering that forgiving in your own heart and actually rebuilding a relationship are not the same thing. You can do the hard work of releasing resentment before God even while you wait for wisdom about whether and how the relationship itself should be restored. True restoration, when it happens, takes both people willing to rebuild trust together, and sometimes God makes that clear by opening a door you could not force on your own, and sometimes He makes it clear by keeping a door closed for a season.
As you wait for clarity, it can help to bring one trusted, mature believer who knows you well into this discernment. Share the history briefly and ask them to pray with you for a few weeks specifically that God would show you whether to reach out, and if so, how and when. Writing down what you might say if He does lead you to reach out can also lessen the fear and help you speak calmly and kindly.
Father, we bring our friend to You in Jesus name. You see the history, the hurt, and the desire to do what pleases You. Give clear wisdom, quiet the fear, and guard their heart in Your peace. If You desire these relationships to be restored, open the way in Your timing and give courage to take the next step. If not now, help them to rest in Your will and continue to walk in grace. Amen.
One thing that has helped others is remembering that forgiving in your own heart and actually rebuilding a relationship are not the same thing. You can do the hard work of releasing resentment before God even while you wait for wisdom about whether and how the relationship itself should be restored. True restoration, when it happens, takes both people willing to rebuild trust together, and sometimes God makes that clear by opening a door you could not force on your own, and sometimes He makes it clear by keeping a door closed for a season.
As you wait for clarity, it can help to bring one trusted, mature believer who knows you well into this discernment. Share the history briefly and ask them to pray with you for a few weeks specifically that God would show you whether to reach out, and if so, how and when. Writing down what you might say if He does lead you to reach out can also lessen the fear and help you speak calmly and kindly.
Father, we bring our friend to You in Jesus name. You see the history, the hurt, and the desire to do what pleases You. Give clear wisdom, quiet the fear, and guard their heart in Your peace. If You desire these relationships to be restored, open the way in Your timing and give courage to take the next step. If not now, help them to rest in Your will and continue to walk in grace. Amen.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying in Jesus Name.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your longing for reconciliation is itself a tender sign of a work of grace within, for the heart that has tasted forgiveness longs to extend it. We have heard your request and we bring it before the Lord with you.
There is forgiveness with God, and that forgiveness is only to be obtained through Jesus Christ, His Son. It is a divine forgiveness, I even I am He that blotteth out thy transgressions, and it is a surprising and complete forgiveness, an eternal forgiveness which blots out the whole debt. If you have felt the weight of sin and the breach between yourself and others, remember first where forgiveness is to be found. It is with Him whom you have offended, and from that very place the mercy comes. There is forgiveness with You, that You may be feared. When a soul receives this pardon, the Lord puts a new heart within and puts His fear there, not a servile fear that drives away, but a holy awe which loves and worships and obeys. That fear will teach you to love what God loves and to seek peace where peace may honor Him.
You confess a fear of reaching out first, and a desire that the way might be made easier. This is an honest confession, and we do not condemn you for it. To have faith broken and love broken and fellowship shattered is to be as one whose bones are broken, reduced to a palpitating mass of pain. It is dreadful to carry such wounds, and even when God in His mercy heals every broken bone, the memory remains tender. Yet hear the promise, that the bones which He has broken may rejoice, not merely grow quiet or become callous, but rejoice. He is the great Surgeon who can make a mass of misery whole again, and great credit shall be given to His skill. He who finished transgression and made reconciliation for iniquity and brought in everlasting righteousness is able to break down barriers which seem immovable to us.
We will pray that the Lord will make His will very clear to you, for we would not have you run without His leading nor linger when He calls. Pray with us that He will search your heart and show you whether pride or self protection still lingers, and that He will grant you repentance where you have offended and a readiness to forgive where you have been offended. Some of us have had so much manifest forgiveness, so much outward sin forgiven, that for us to forgive ought to be as natural as to open our hands.
If it be His will to mend these old relationships, we ask that He would do it in a way that honors His name and keeps His statutes, for we shall dwell in safety only as we keep His judgments. Reconciliation that is pleasing to God must walk in truth and holiness. We pray not for a mere outward peace, but for such a restoration as would cause you both to fear Him more and to love Him more.
And if He calls you to take the first step, though the way be hard and the past be full of negative things, we pray He will give you strength to obey. Do not make cannot a substitute for will not, but trust that He who has forgiven you will enable you to act in humility. He often uses broken knee'd servants, and when Peter was set on his legs again, though he had grievously fallen, the Lord rode that charger gloriously on the day of Pentecost. So He can use your weakness.
Let us pray together. O Lord our God, with whom there is forgiveness that Thou mayest be feared, look upon this Thy servant who desires to walk in Thy fear. Wash away all sin through the precious blood of Christ, and put a new heart and a new spirit within. If these relationships may be restored to Thy glory, make Thy will plain as the sun at noonday, and grant courage to obey. Take away pride, take away slavish fear, and give holy boldness tempered with meekness. Heal what has been broken, that the bones which Thou hast broken may rejoice, and let any reconciliation be in righteousness and truth, that Thou mayest be feared and loved and praised. Grant wisdom to know when to speak and when to wait, and let all be done in submission to Christ, in whose name we ask it. Amen.
There is forgiveness with God, and that forgiveness is only to be obtained through Jesus Christ, His Son. It is a divine forgiveness, I even I am He that blotteth out thy transgressions, and it is a surprising and complete forgiveness, an eternal forgiveness which blots out the whole debt. If you have felt the weight of sin and the breach between yourself and others, remember first where forgiveness is to be found. It is with Him whom you have offended, and from that very place the mercy comes. There is forgiveness with You, that You may be feared. When a soul receives this pardon, the Lord puts a new heart within and puts His fear there, not a servile fear that drives away, but a holy awe which loves and worships and obeys. That fear will teach you to love what God loves and to seek peace where peace may honor Him.
You confess a fear of reaching out first, and a desire that the way might be made easier. This is an honest confession, and we do not condemn you for it. To have faith broken and love broken and fellowship shattered is to be as one whose bones are broken, reduced to a palpitating mass of pain. It is dreadful to carry such wounds, and even when God in His mercy heals every broken bone, the memory remains tender. Yet hear the promise, that the bones which He has broken may rejoice, not merely grow quiet or become callous, but rejoice. He is the great Surgeon who can make a mass of misery whole again, and great credit shall be given to His skill. He who finished transgression and made reconciliation for iniquity and brought in everlasting righteousness is able to break down barriers which seem immovable to us.
We will pray that the Lord will make His will very clear to you, for we would not have you run without His leading nor linger when He calls. Pray with us that He will search your heart and show you whether pride or self protection still lingers, and that He will grant you repentance where you have offended and a readiness to forgive where you have been offended. Some of us have had so much manifest forgiveness, so much outward sin forgiven, that for us to forgive ought to be as natural as to open our hands.
If it be His will to mend these old relationships, we ask that He would do it in a way that honors His name and keeps His statutes, for we shall dwell in safety only as we keep His judgments. Reconciliation that is pleasing to God must walk in truth and holiness. We pray not for a mere outward peace, but for such a restoration as would cause you both to fear Him more and to love Him more.
And if He calls you to take the first step, though the way be hard and the past be full of negative things, we pray He will give you strength to obey. Do not make cannot a substitute for will not, but trust that He who has forgiven you will enable you to act in humility. He often uses broken knee'd servants, and when Peter was set on his legs again, though he had grievously fallen, the Lord rode that charger gloriously on the day of Pentecost. So He can use your weakness.
Let us pray together. O Lord our God, with whom there is forgiveness that Thou mayest be feared, look upon this Thy servant who desires to walk in Thy fear. Wash away all sin through the precious blood of Christ, and put a new heart and a new spirit within. If these relationships may be restored to Thy glory, make Thy will plain as the sun at noonday, and grant courage to obey. Take away pride, take away slavish fear, and give holy boldness tempered with meekness. Heal what has been broken, that the bones which Thou hast broken may rejoice, and let any reconciliation be in righteousness and truth, that Thou mayest be feared and loved and praised. Grant wisdom to know when to speak and when to wait, and let all be done in submission to Christ, in whose name we ask it. Amen.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing this so honestly and with such humility. Your desire for reconciliation where God wills it, and your willingness to obey Him even when it is hard, is itself a good and gracious work in your heart.
I hear both your hope that God would restore what has been broken and your fear about taking the first step because of the painful history between you and these individuals. It is understandable to wish that God would make the way easier and to feel afraid of reaching out first. At the same time, God often forms us most deeply not by removing the difficulty, but by giving us strength to walk through it with humility and love.
Scripture warns us that pride is the beginning of sin and the root that corrupts even good intentions. It makes us unwilling to bear even a slight insult, quick to protect ourselves, and slow to move toward another in tenderness. Humility, by contrast, refreshes the soul, pulls down pride, and teaches us wisdom. It helps us not to condemn or trample on the other person, but to correct and to seek peace with gentleness, remembering that the measure we use toward others will be measured toward us.
So I will pray for you in this way, asking God to do what is truly best for you and for these relationships:
I pray that our Father, through Jesus Christ alone who bore our sins and carried them to the Father to obtain forgiveness for us, would give you clear wisdom to know whether He desires these specific relationships to be restored. If it is His will, I pray He would make that clear, not only through circumstances but through a settled peace and through counsel grounded in His Word.
I pray He would replace fear and pride with a humble fear of Him and a genuine love for others, so that you are free to act not for vainglory or to protect yourself, but to honor Him. If He calls you to reach out first, I pray He would give you courage and strength to do so with softness and honesty, trusting that He who freely gave you grace will also freely give you what you need to give grace to others.
I pray He would guard you from seeking only an easier path, and instead help you to be a faithful steward of the gifts He has given you, doing what is right because it is right before Him, and leaving the outcome in His hands. Whether restoration means renewed closeness or simply a settled peace and forgiveness in your hearts, I pray He would lead you into what is holy, humble, and whole.
If God does open the door for reconciliation, ask Him to help you go with a lowly mind, without contempt or the desire to be honored, but with a willingness to listen, to confess where you can, and to forgive as you have been forgiven. And if He shows you to wait, I pray He would give you patience to wait well.
May the Lord grant you clarity, courage, and a quiet heart that seeks His will above comfort, and may He be glorified in how you love others.
I hear both your hope that God would restore what has been broken and your fear about taking the first step because of the painful history between you and these individuals. It is understandable to wish that God would make the way easier and to feel afraid of reaching out first. At the same time, God often forms us most deeply not by removing the difficulty, but by giving us strength to walk through it with humility and love.
Scripture warns us that pride is the beginning of sin and the root that corrupts even good intentions. It makes us unwilling to bear even a slight insult, quick to protect ourselves, and slow to move toward another in tenderness. Humility, by contrast, refreshes the soul, pulls down pride, and teaches us wisdom. It helps us not to condemn or trample on the other person, but to correct and to seek peace with gentleness, remembering that the measure we use toward others will be measured toward us.
So I will pray for you in this way, asking God to do what is truly best for you and for these relationships:
I pray that our Father, through Jesus Christ alone who bore our sins and carried them to the Father to obtain forgiveness for us, would give you clear wisdom to know whether He desires these specific relationships to be restored. If it is His will, I pray He would make that clear, not only through circumstances but through a settled peace and through counsel grounded in His Word.
I pray He would replace fear and pride with a humble fear of Him and a genuine love for others, so that you are free to act not for vainglory or to protect yourself, but to honor Him. If He calls you to reach out first, I pray He would give you courage and strength to do so with softness and honesty, trusting that He who freely gave you grace will also freely give you what you need to give grace to others.
I pray He would guard you from seeking only an easier path, and instead help you to be a faithful steward of the gifts He has given you, doing what is right because it is right before Him, and leaving the outcome in His hands. Whether restoration means renewed closeness or simply a settled peace and forgiveness in your hearts, I pray He would lead you into what is holy, humble, and whole.
If God does open the door for reconciliation, ask Him to help you go with a lowly mind, without contempt or the desire to be honored, but with a willingness to listen, to confess where you can, and to forgive as you have been forgiven. And if He shows you to wait, I pray He would give you patience to wait well.
May the Lord grant you clarity, courage, and a quiet heart that seeks His will above comfort, and may He be glorified in how you love others.
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