Reconciliation

[Haltoruasil]

I would really like to be able to forgive my mother for the abuse that she allowed to happen in my childhood. When I think about reconciliation with her I start to get really angry and have panic attacks and start to feel really anxious. All of this is affecting my relationship with god. Please pray for me.

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain in your request and we are bringing you before the throne of grace together in Jesus' name. What you experienced in childhood was evil, and the fact that your mother allowed abuse to happen was a profound failure of her God given duty to protect you. God does not take lightly the harm done to children and He sees the wounds you still carry. We grieve with you over this and we thank you for sharing something so difficult.

We want to gently help you understand what Scripture teaches about forgiveness and reconciliation, because they are not the same thing. God commands us to forgive as we have been forgiven, not because the offense was small, but because we have been forgiven so much in Christ. Ephesians 4:32 says, Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. Colossians 3:13 says, Forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any, even as Christ forgave you, so you also do. Forgiveness is a choice to release the debt to God and to free your own heart from bitterness, it does not mean what happened was okay, it does not mean forgetting, and it does not require you to immediately trust or to place yourself back in harm's way.

Reconciliation is different. Romans 12:18 says, If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men. That phrase if it is possible recognizes that true reconciliation requires repentance, honesty, and safety from the other person. If your mother has not acknowledged the abuse, repented, and shown fruit of change, it is not unbiblical to keep healthy boundaries while you heal. Honoring your mother as Exodus 20:12 teaches never means allowing continued abuse or denying the truth of what happened. Forgiveness can happen in your heart before God even while reconciliation may be a longer process or may not be possible until God works in her heart.

Your anger, panic attacks, and anxiety are understandable responses to trauma, and God is not disappointed in you for feeling them. He invites you to bring them to Him. Psalm 34:18 says, Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 147:3 says, He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. The Lord wants to heal you layer by layer. Ephesians 4:26 says, Be angry, and don't sin. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Anger itself signals that an injustice occurred, but we must not let it take root into bitterness. 1 Peter 5:7 reminds us to cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you. Philippians 4:6-7 says, In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Isaiah 41:10 says, Don't you be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. When panic rises, we encourage you to breathe, to pray aloud the name of Jesus, to speak Scripture over your mind, and to consider reaching out for wise Christian counseling to help you process this trauma in a safe and godly way, as healing often happens in community.

We also notice your request does not mention the name of Jesus, and we want to lovingly share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and find power to forgive and be healed. John 14:6 says, Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says, There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your trust fully in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, confessing Him as Lord, for Romans 10:9 says, that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. It is His forgiveness toward us that makes our forgiveness toward others possible.

We are praying together for you now.

Father, we lift this precious one to You in the name of Jesus Christ. You know the memories, the fear, the anger, and the panic that overwhelms when reconciliation is considered. Lord, we ask You to wrap Your arms of comfort around this heart and show Yourself as Father to the fatherless and Protector of the wounded. Give the grace to forgive as You have forgiven, not by human strength but by Your Spirit, and release the burden of vengeance into Your just hands. Heal the broken heart and bind up every wound, calm the anxious thoughts and quiet the panic with Your perfect peace that surpasses understanding. Help to discern what healthy boundaries look like and whether and when reconciliation is wise and safe, and work in this mother's heart to bring conviction, repentance, and truth if it be Your will. Restore this dear one's relationship with You, Lord, remove any shame or distance, and help them to hear Your voice saying You are loved, You are seen, You are not alone. Draw them closer to Jesus, deepen faith, and lead them to safe, godly support for continued healing. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and healer, amen.

We encourage you to stay rooted in God's Word daily, even in small portions, to pour out your heart honestly to Him in prayer, and to not walk this road alone. Seek a mature, Bible believing pastor or Christian counselor who understands trauma. Matthew 11:28 says, Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Keep coming to Him, He is patient and He is doing a deep healing work in you that will not be rushed. We are continuing to pray for your peace, your healing, and your walk with God.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for trusting us with something so painful. Wanting to forgive your mother and at the same time feeling anger, anxiety and even panic when you picture reconciliation is understandable, and it makes sense that this would weigh on your walk with God.

It can help to hold forgiveness and reconciliation as two different things. Forgiveness is work God does in your own heart, often starting as a quiet decision to release the debt before the emotions have caught up, and then slowly, over time, the feelings of resentment and fear are softened and replaced. Reconciliation is about whether and how a relationship is reestablished, and that involves safety, trust, and wisdom about boundaries. Feeling overwhelmed at the thought of being close again does not mean you are failing at forgiveness. It may be a sign to give the emotional part more time and care.

Because you mentioned panic attacks and ongoing anxiety, we encourage you to reach out for support alongside prayer. A trusted pastor and a licensed Christian counselor who understands childhood trauma can walk with you at a pace that feels safe, and it would also be wise to talk with your primary care doctor about the panic you are experiencing.

Father, we lift our friend to You. You see the hurt carried since childhood and the desire to forgive. Bring steady healing, wisdom for each next step with her mother, relief from panic and anxiety, and a renewed sense of Your nearness. Guide her to safe, godly help and keep her in Your care. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[EnricoLange]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Windwold]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your longing to forgive amid such deep and painful wounds is itself a sign that the grace of God is at work in your heart, and it is right and good that you bring this struggle before the Lord.

To have suffered in childhood through abuse that a mother should have prevented is a grievous affliction, and it is not strange that thoughts of reconciliation should stir up anger, anxiety and even panic within you. The Lord knows the frailty of our frame and He does not despise the cry of a wounded child. Though father and mother might forsake you, you can never lose this joyous fact if you are in Christ, you are an heir of God, joint heir with Jesus Christ, and He remains your Father still.

You speak of wanting to forgive and yet feeling unable. Hear what the Scripture declares of our sin forgiving God. He is greater at forgiving than you ever dreamed. Wonderful is God in every position which He assumes, but when He takes to pardoning through the bleeding Sacrifice, then is He glorious indeed. The nature of a pardon depends upon the character of the pardoner, and our God delights to show the riches of His grace in forgiving all our trespasses through the blood of Christ. It is as you see more of how freely and fully you have been forgiven in Christ that you will find strength to extend forgiveness to another, not in your own power, but by the Holy Spirit sweetly opening up to you the glories of forgiving grace. Forgiveness does not mean calling evil good or pretending the past did not wound you. It means releasing the debt into the hands of Him who judges righteously, as you have been released by His mercy.

You also describe anxiety and panic that unfits you and affects your walk with God. Our Savior says, Do not be so affected by external things as to get into a state of worry, fretfulness, care, anxiety and distress. This is not a rebuke of your suffering, but a tender invitation. Anxiety, as you have found, does not bring comfort or strength, and the very anxiety which arises through your being in a difficulty unfits you to meet that difficulty. To tell your trouble over only to yourself will bring no good, but to tell it to your Father in heaven will. Cast your care upon Him, for He cares for you. When panic rises, turn at once to prayer, to the promises of His Word, and to simple trust in His present help. If these attacks continue to overwhelm you, seek also the help of a wise and godly pastor and, where needed, sound counsel for your distress, for the Lord often helps us through the care of others in His Church, which is a true and tender mother to her children.

Concerning reconciliation, remember the word of reconciliation committed to us in the gospel, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them. He is the God of Peace and He has, on His part, prepared everything that is necessary for a perfect reconciliation between Himself and sinners through Jesus Christ. That reconciliation with God is your first and surest ground of peace. Reconciliation with another person, however, is not the same as forgiveness in the heart before God. Forgiveness can be granted before the Lord even while wisdom and safety require boundaries, time, and evidence of true repentance before trust is restored. Do not press yourself to force a reunion that your conscience and your safety cannot yet bear. Seek the Lord for wisdom to know what is right and loving in each step, and let the pace be guided by truth, repentance and protection from further harm.

May the Lord Himself work this in you by the power of the Holy Spirit, and may He heal what has been broken.

Let us pray together. O most merciful Father, You see this wounded heart and all the memories that stir up anger and fear. Have mercy and pour out the riches of Your grace through Jesus Christ, who bore our sins and sorrows. Teach this dear soul more deeply how freely You have forgiven through His blood, and by that same grace enable a forgiving spirit. Calm the anxious thoughts and still the panic, and give peace that passes understanding. Restore and deepen fellowship with You, and grant wisdom for every step concerning this mother, that all may be done in truth, holiness and safety. Guard and keep and heal, for Christ's sake. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[wingsonprayers]

Praying in the precious name of Jesus. Amen