We hear the deep pain and longing in your heart, and we join you in bringing this before the Lord with tears and earnestness. First, we must address this situation with truth and love, as Scripture calls us to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). The term "kingdom spouse" is not a biblical concept, and we must be careful not to elevate our desires, even good ones, above God’s perfect will for our lives. Marriage is a sacred covenant between a man and a woman, designed by God for His glory (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5-6), but it must be entered into with wisdom, discernment, and mutual commitment to Christ.
Your former beloved’s actions, ending the relationship abruptly and then seeking attention on a dating app, reveal a heart that is not yet aligned with God’s design for love and commitment. His fear of intimacy and closeness may stem from deep wounds or a lack of understanding of what true, Christ-centered love requires. Proverbs 4:23 warns us, "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life." His choices reflect a heart that is not guarded or surrendered to the Lord, and this should concern you deeply. We must also gently but firmly address the reality of his behavior: if he is presenting himself in a way that objectifies his body for others’ attention, this is not the conduct of a man who is ready to honor a wife as Christ honors the Church (Ephesians 5:25-28).
You mention that you were "truly in love," but we must ask: Was this love rooted in Christ, or was it a love that placed your desires above His will? Did this relationship honor God in its purity, its commitment, and its purpose? If there was any sexual intimacy outside of marriage, we must name it for what it is: fornication, which Scripture clearly condemns (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Hebrews 13:4). If this was the case, repentance and healing must come before any reconciliation can be considered. God’s grace covers all sin, but true repentance requires turning away from sin and walking in obedience to Him.
We also must address the pain you are carrying. The betrayal you feel is real, and your tears are seen by the Lord (Psalm 56:8). But we must caution you against praying for his heart to change simply so that he will return to you. Our prayers must always align with God’s will, not our own desires (1 John 5:14-15). Instead, we should pray for his heart to be transformed by the Holy Spirit, for him to seek God wholeheartedly, and for you to find peace and healing in Christ, regardless of the outcome. Jeremiah 17:9 reminds us, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly corrupt: who can know it?" Only God can change a heart, and we must trust Him to do what is best, even when it is not what we want.
We also want to gently challenge you to examine your own heart. Are you clinging to this relationship because you believe it is God’s will, or because you fear being alone or starting over? Are you willing to surrender this man fully to God, trusting that if he is not the one God has for you, He has someone even better prepared for you? Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." This is a time to lean into God’s understanding, not your own.
Now, let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear sister and the man she once loved. Lord, You see the pain she carries, the tears she has shed, and the longing in her heart. We ask that You would comfort her with Your presence, wrapping her in Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Father, we pray for healing in her heart, healing from the rejection, the betrayal, and the brokenness she feels. Mend the pieces of her heart and fill her with Your love, so that she may know her worth is found in You alone.
Lord, we also lift up this man to You. We ask that You would break through the hardness of his heart and reveal to him the areas where he has strayed from Your will. If there is sin in his life, whether it be fear, pride, lust, or selfishness, we ask that You convict him and lead him to repentance. Soften his heart, Father, and draw him into a deeper relationship with You. Let him see the emptiness of seeking validation from the world and turn to You, the only One who can satisfy his soul.
Father, we ask that You would give this sister clarity and wisdom. If this man is not the one You have for her, we pray that You would close the door completely and give her the strength to walk away. If there is still a possibility for reconciliation, we ask that You would make it clear and prepare both of their hearts to honor You in their relationship. But Lord, above all, we ask that You would be glorified in this situation. Let Your will be done, not ours.
We also ask for forgiveness if there was any sin in their relationship, whether it be emotional or physical impurity. Cleanse their hearts, Lord, and restore them to right standing with You. Help them to see marriage as You designed it: a covenant of love, sacrifice, and mutual submission to You.
Father, we trust You with this situation. We know that You work all things together for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28). Give this sister the faith to believe that You have a plan for her life, even when she cannot see it. Surround her with godly community, fill her with Your joy, and remind her daily that she is deeply loved by You.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names, the only name by which we can come to You. It is through His sacrifice that we have access to Your throne of grace, and it is by His blood that we are forgiven and made new. Thank You, Lord, for hearing our prayers and for Your faithfulness to answer them according to Your perfect will. Amen.
In this season, we encourage you to immerse yourself in God’s Word and in the company of believers who can speak truth into your life. Seek out a local church where you can grow in your faith and find support. Spend time in prayer, not just asking God for this man to return, but asking Him to reveal His will for your life. Psalm 37:4 says, "Also delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." When our delight is in the Lord, our desires begin to align with His.
Consider fasting as a way to draw closer to God and seek His face. Fasting is not about manipulating God to give us what we want; it is about humbling ourselves before Him and seeking His will above our own (Joel 2:12). Use this time to grow in your relationship with Christ, and trust that He will direct your steps.
Lastly, we want to leave you with this promise from Isaiah 43:18-19: "Don’t remember the former things, and don’t consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing. It springs out now. Don’t you know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert." God is doing a new thing in your life, even if you cannot see it yet. Trust Him, lean on Him, and allow Him to heal your heart. Whether this man returns or not, God has a plan for you, a plan for hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Walk in faith, dear sister, and know that you are not alone.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
