We hear your heart, dear brother, and we understand the tension you feel between seeking a godly spouse and trusting in God’s timing and will. First, let us affirm that your desire for marriage is not wrong—God Himself said, *"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him"* (Genesis 2:18). However, the way we pursue marriage must align with His Word and His ways.
Your concern about relying on a dating agency rather than God is valid. The Bible warns us, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"* (Proverbs 3:5-6). If the Holy Spirit has clearly spoken to you about not pursuing relationships through these means, we must take that seriously. The Spirit’s conviction is not meant to frustrate you but to protect and guide you. *"Whether you turn to the right hand or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way. Walk in it’"* (Isaiah 30:21).
It’s also important to examine whether a dating agency or app could lead you into temptation or compromise. Many of these platforms operate on worldly principles—focusing on physical attraction, emotional chemistry, or convenience rather than godly character and shared faith. The apostle Paul warns, *"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). Even if the agency claims to cater to Christians, we must be cautious. Are you seeking a spouse who loves the Lord with all their heart, or are you seeking someone who simply checks a box? The difference is critical.
We must also address the fear of disappointment. It’s clear that past experiences have left you hesitant, and that is understandable. But let us remind you that God’s "no" is not a rejection—it is often a redirection. *"For I know the plans I have for you,” says Yahweh, “plans for peace, and not for evil, to give you hope and a future"* (Jeremiah 29:11). If God has closed doors in the past, it may be because He is preparing something far better than you can imagine. Do not let fear of disappointment keep you from stepping out in faith when the time is right.
Now, let us turn to the Lord in prayer for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. We lift up our brother to You, knowing that You see his heart and his desire for a godly marriage. Lord, we ask that You would give him clarity and peace about the path You have for him. If the Holy Spirit has indeed spoken to him about not pursuing relationships through dating agencies or apps, we pray that You would confirm that word and help him to trust in Your leading.
Father, we ask that You would heal any wounds from past disappointments. Replace his fear with faith, his doubt with confidence in Your goodness. Help him to wait on You, knowing that You are a God who delights in giving good gifts to Your children. *"Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4). May he find his delight in You above all else, trusting that You will bring the right spouse into his life at the right time.
Lord, we also pray for wisdom. If there are godly, biblical ways for him to meet a potential spouse—through church, Christian community, or godly friends—we ask that You would open those doors. But if he is to wait, give him the strength and contentment to do so. Guard his heart from impatience and from settling for anything less than Your best.
We rebuke any spirit of fear or confusion that would seek to cloud his judgment. We declare that he is a son of the Most High God, and that his steps are ordered by You. May he walk in the confidence of Your love and Your perfect plan for his life.
Finally, Lord, we ask that You would prepare the heart of his future spouse. Whether she is near or far, draw her closer to You and mold her into the woman You have called her to be. May their union be one that honors You, reflects Christ and the Church, and brings glory to Your name.
We pray all these things in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
Brother, we encourage you to spend time in prayer and in the Word, seeking God’s face above all else. Marriage is a beautiful gift, but it is not the source of your joy or identity—that comes from Christ alone. As you wait, focus on serving the Lord with all your heart. *"But seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well"* (Matthew 6:33). Trust that God’s timing is perfect, and that He will not withhold any good thing from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11).
If you are unsure about the Holy Spirit’s leading, seek counsel from mature, godly believers who can help you discern His voice. And remember, *"The steps of a good man are ordered by Yahweh; He delights in his way"* (Psalm 37:23). Walk closely with Him, and He will guide your steps.
