We hear the deep frustration and disappointment in your words, and we want to address this with both truth and compassion. It is clear that you are hurting, and we grieve with you over the loneliness and unmet longing for marriage. However, we must stand firmly on the Word of God, which is unchanging, even when our feelings cry out otherwise.
First, we must rebuke the lie that Jesus has failed you. The Scriptures declare, *"For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory"* (2 Corinthians 1:20). Jesus is not a genie who exists to fulfill our every demand on our timeline. He is the sovereign Lord, who knows what is best for us far better than we know ourselves. To say that He "cannot provide" is to misunderstand His nature. The psalmist writes, *"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4). This does not mean He gives us whatever we want, but that as we align our hearts with His, He shapes our desires to match His perfect will.
You mention free will, and indeed, God has given us the freedom to choose. But let us be clear: walking away from Christ is not an exercise of freedom—it is bondage to deception. Jesus Himself said, *"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"* (John 14:6). There is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). To renounce faith in Him is to turn away from the only source of true life, hope, and fulfillment. It is to exchange the living water for broken cisterns that can hold no water (Jeremiah 2:13).
You speak of seeking a wife outside of the faith, but the Bible is explicit about this: *"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). Marriage is a sacred covenant, not just between two people, but between two people and God. To enter into a union with someone who does not share your faith is to invite division, heartache, and spiritual compromise. We are called to marry *"only in the Lord"* (1 Corinthians 7:39). This is not a restriction meant to frustrate you, but a protection meant to bless you. A godly marriage is a reflection of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:31-32), and it cannot fulfill that purpose if one partner is walking away from Him.
We also must address the idea of using a dating agency as if it were a substitute for God’s provision. While there is nothing inherently wrong with seeking help to meet a potential spouse, we must never place our trust in methods or systems above our trust in God. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, *"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."* If we bypass God in our search for a spouse, we are likely to find someone who does not lead us closer to Him, but further away.
Your words suggest that waiting on God’s timing is too hard, that His will is too delayed. But let us remind you of the story of Abraham and Sarah. They waited decades for the son God had promised them. In their impatience, they tried to take matters into their own hands, and the result was conflict and heartache that echoes to this day. Yet God’s promise was fulfilled in His perfect timing. His delays are not denials. His silence is not absence. He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28), even when you cannot see it.
We must also speak to the danger of bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 warns, *"See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled."* Bitterness will not only poison your relationship with God, but it will also distort your view of His character. God is not withholding good from you. Psalm 84:11 says, *"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly."* If you are not seeing His provision, it may be that He is protecting you from something that is not truly good for you, or preparing you for something far better than you can imagine.
Now, let us pray for you.
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our brother who is struggling with loneliness, disappointment, and doubt. Lord, we ask that You would meet him in this place of pain and speak truth to his heart. Remind him of Your faithfulness, even when he cannot see it. Soften his heart to receive Your love and Your promises. We rebuke the spirit of bitterness and unbelief that is seeking to take root in his life. We declare that You are a good Father who gives good gifts to Your children (Matthew 7:11). We ask that You would restore his hope and his trust in You.
Lord, we pray for his future spouse. If it is Your will for him to marry, we ask that You would bring her into his life at the perfect time. Prepare her heart, just as You are preparing his. Let their union be one that honors You and reflects Your love for the Church. Guard him from the temptation to seek fulfillment outside of Your will. Help him to wait patiently, knowing that Your timing is perfect.
We also pray for his faith. Strengthen him in moments of weakness. Remind him of the countless ways You have been faithful in his life. Let him see that walking away from You is not the answer to his pain, but that true healing and provision are found only in You. Surround him with godly community—brothers and sisters in Christ who can encourage him, pray for him, and walk alongside him in this season.
Father, we ask that You would reveal Yourself to him in a powerful way. Let him encounter Your presence so tangibly that all doubt is driven away. Remind him that You are not a distant God, but One who is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Let him experience Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). Amen.
Brother, we urge you not to make any hasty decisions in this season of pain. The enemy would love for you to walk away from the faith, but we plead with you to hold on. Seek godly counsel from mature believers who can speak truth into your life. Spend time in the Word, even if it feels dry or difficult. Pour out your heart to God in prayer—He can handle your honesty. And remember, you are not alone. We are standing with you, praying for you, and believing that God is at work even in this hard season.
If you feel that God is not providing, ask Him to show you what He *is* doing. Often, His provision looks different than we expect. He may be shaping your character, teaching you patience, or preparing you for a blessing you cannot yet see. Do not despise the waiting. It is not wasted time—it is sacred time, set apart for you to draw closer to Him.
Lastly, we want to leave you with this promise from Isaiah 40:31: *"But those who wait for the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run, and not be weary. They will walk, and not faint."* Do not give up. Do not walk away. The God who parted the Red Sea, who raised Jesus from the dead, who knows the number of hairs on your head—this God is working on your behalf. Trust Him. Wait for Him. He will not fail you.