Help

[Struedoinmen]

Please send me friends and roommates who are willing to move in and help me out. Help me find a church home where I can meet like minded people. I want a divorce. I don’t want to waste time on him. He is never going to care or act right. I am tired of him using me. Please remove him my life and replace him with someone better…soon and fast.

 

[Articles]

We hear your cry and we join with you in bringing this heavy burden before the Lord, for we know you are feeling exhausted, used, and lonely, and you are longing for companionship, help in your home, and a church family where you belong.

We want to lovingly and truthfully address what you have shared about your marriage, because God takes marriage very seriously. Scripture tells us that marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate Matt 19:6 and For I hate divorce, says Yahweh, the God of Israel Mal 2:16. We also read A wife is not to depart from her husband but if she does depart, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband 1 Cor 7:10-11. We do not know all the details of how your husband has been using you or failing to care for you, and we grieve that you feel so worn down, yet we must gently rebuke the desire to quickly end the marriage and to have God remove him and replace him with someone better soon and fast. While still married, to seek or enter another romantic relationship would be adultery, for God has said You shall not commit adultery Exod 20:14 and Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the bed is to be undefiled Heb 13:4. The Lord does not call us to rush into a new relationship out of hurt or impatience, but to seek Him first and trust His timing and His ability to change hearts.

We encourage you to not make a hasty decision about divorce, but to seek godly counsel and pastoral help right away, to pursue reconciliation if at all possible, and to allow God to work in both of your hearts. If there is unrepentant sexual immorality or abandonment, the Bible does speak to those hard situations, but even then God’s heart is for repentance and restoration where possible. We pray that you will extend forgiveness as Christ has forgiven us, Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you Eph 4:32, while also establishing wise and biblical boundaries and seeking safety and counsel if there is any abuse or serious mistreatment. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men Rom 12:18, and we pray your husband would also learn to love you as Christ loved the church and to act rightly before God.

We also hear your longing for friends, for trustworthy roommates to help you, and for a church home with like minded believers, and these are good and godly desires. God sets the lonely in families Psalm 68:6 and He calls us to not forsake our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another Heb 10:25. A faithful church family can provide the encouragement, accountability, and practical help you need, and friends who love at all times can be a great comfort Prov 18:24. We pray the Lord will lead you to a Bible believing church where you can be planted, serve, and build lasting friendships. We also pray He will provide safe and responsible roommates if that is His will, and give you wisdom and discernment in choosing those who live with you, guarding your home as a place of peace and purity.

We noticed you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we want to remind you with love that it is only through Him that we have access to God. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we urge you to place your trust in Jesus, confess Him as Lord, and believe God raised Him from the dead, for if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Rom 10:9. It is in His name we pray and find hope.

We pray together for you now.

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we lift this dear one to You. You see her weariness and the pain of feeling used and unloved, and we ask You to comfort her, to give her strength and wisdom, and to guard her heart from bitterness and hasty decisions. Lord, we pray for her marriage, that You would convict her husband where he has failed to act rightly, soften his heart, and bring repentance and renewal if it is possible, that their marriage might honor You. Show her how to walk in forgiveness and truth, and surround her with wise counselors and a faithful pastor who can help her discern the right path. Father, we ask that You lead her to a true church home where she can worship, grow, and meet like minded believers who will encourage her in faith. Provide for her practical needs, bring trustworthy friends and, if it is Your will, safe roommates who will be a help and not a harm, and help her to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, knowing all these things will be given to her Matt 6:33. Give her patience to wait on Your perfect timing rather than seeking a quick replacement, and keep her pure and faithful before You. We pray she would know Your peace which surpasses all understanding to guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus Phil 4:7. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

We encourage you to remain faithful in prayer, to seek the Lord daily in His Word, to pursue a church home quickly, and to meet with a trusted pastor or biblical counselor before taking any steps toward divorce, trusting that God is able to redeem, restore, and provide in ways far better than rushing ahead in our own strength.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how exhausted you are feeling, like you have been carrying this alone for a long time and just want relief, practical help, and people around you who care. Wanting safe housing, steady roommates, and a church where you belong are good and understandable needs, and it makes sense you are looking for that community now.

When everything feels urgent, it can help to have a couple of steady people to think things through with. If you have a pastor or a trusted counselor you can talk with, we encourage you to share openly about the housing pressure and what has led you to want a divorce. They can help you sort practical options, and if separation or divorce does move forward, many have found it helpful to explore mediation rather than immediately turning to litigation, and to connect with a divorce recovery support group where you can process the grief and changes at a healthier pace. That kind of support also gives space to heal before considering any new relationship, so future choices come from strength rather than exhaustion.

We are also praying for you to find a church home where you can be known and supported week by week, perhaps through a small group or fellowship that meets regularly.

Father, we lift our sister to You in Jesus name. Give her wisdom for each decision, provision for housing, faithful friends, and a caring church family. Guard her heart and guide her steps toward healing and peace. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your weariness and pain are heard before the Lord, and He knows what it is to be left alone in sorrow. You speak of loneliness, of feeling used and tired, and of a desire for fellowship and a true church home. These burdens are not hidden from Him who said, You shall leave Me alone and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. Even when human sympathy fails, Christ Himself entered that loneliness, that He might be near to those who feel forsaken, and He lives to show that the lonely one who looks to Him is never utterly alone.

There is healing in Christ, not only in what is great and evident, but in what seems small. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ is full of healing virtue. That healing touches both soul and life, for when Jesus healed the sick of the palsy He said, Son, be of good cheer, your sins are forgiven you, joining pardon and healing together. The great Physician first forgives and then heals, and His healing changes the life blood and makes the nature other than it was before. It is this healing you need most, and it is freely offered to all who come to Him by faith alone through Jesus Christ.

Concerning marriage, the Word of God holds it as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, to be guarded and honored. Feelings of hurt and disappointment, even when deep and longstanding, call not first for a hasty ending and a swift replacement, but for seeking the Lord, for honest self examination, for forgiveness where forgiveness is needed, and for wise and godly counsel. To ask God to quickly remove your husband and bring another soon and fast would be to seek what is outside His revealed will and would not bring the peace you long for. What is needed is time before the Lord, patient prayer, and the counsel of faithful pastors and mature believers who will open the Scriptures with you and help you discern the path of obedience, whether that be earnest labor toward reconciliation or, where sin and hardness have brought great wounding, biblical wisdom step by step.

We will pray for you.

Our Father, we bring this weary heart before You in the name of Jesus Christ, through whom alone is salvation and healing. Look upon this soul in loneliness and grant the comfort of Your presence, that though friends may fail, she may know she is not alone because You are with her. Grant pardon through the blood of Christ and healing through His grace, that heart wounds may be bound up by Your own hand. Provide, according to Your wisdom, for daily needs, and if roommates or shared provision be necessary, provide such as will help her walk in purity and holiness, with living arrangements that honor You. Lead her to a faithful church home where Christ is taught, for faith comes by hearing and healing is linked with the teaching of Your Word, and there give her like minded friends who will love her and speak truth. Give her patience to wait upon You, restraint from hasty vows or hasty breakings of vows, and from seeking another relationship quickly. Grant wisdom to seek godly counsel, honesty to confess sin and to forgive as she has been forgiven, and strength to do what is right before You. Keep her from what would harm her soul and guide her into what will make her whole. In Jesus name, Amen.

Seek the Lord first in His Word and in prayer, and seek a pastor who will faithfully teach that Word, that you may be healed and then be made ready to serve Him in whatever calling He appoints.