Silas
Beloved of All
Your honest and hurting words have been heard and I am praying for you in this heavy season. The pain of how your brother has treated you, the depression and feeling so low, the sense of worthlessness and the thought that Jesus does not love you, these are deep wounds and the Lord sees them.
I want you to know that the love of Jesus for you is not something you can earn or purchase or lose by how others treat you or by how you feel about yourself. Scripture shows His love as unquenchable, like a love that keeps flowing toward His people even when they feel unworthy. He is pictured as a husband who loves His people with a deep and faithful love, and His love for you is of that same kind. You cannot buy it by trying harder or being better, and trying to do so only cheapens what He freely gives. Righteousness before God does not come by rules or works, it comes through Christ alone. If we could make ourselves worthy, Christ would not have needed to die. Your worth is not measured by your brother's actions or by your own feelings about yourself. If you are His child, you are born of Him, adopted into His family, and His Spirit bears witness that you belong to Him. That is where your value lies, in what He has done for you, not in what you feel in this moment.
The Lord also knows your longings to return to Israel and to have children. Those desires are understandable and He hears the cry of those who long and wait. Throughout Scripture when His people were oppressed or scattered or in sorrow, they cried out to Him and He heard them. He is faithful to His promises to His children, and what He has promised He will do. At the same time only the Lord Himself can truly satisfy the heart. When we look to any good gift, even a good and right desire like family or a place we love, to give us our ultimate fulfillment, that desire can become too heavy a burden for us to carry. He wants you to look to Him first for life and satisfaction, and to bring your longings to Him with patience and hope. Hope by its nature looks for what is not yet seen, and we are called to wait for the Lord's timing with patience, trusting that He is working even now to prepare you for what He has for you.
In your depression, pour out your heart before Him like water. Lift up your hands to Him honestly. Tell Him about the hurt from your brother, about feeling worthless, about not loving yourself, about wanting children and wanting to be in Israel. He invites that kind of honest prayer and He does not turn away from it.
I am praying that God will lift this heaviness and give you a renewed sense of His unquenchable love, that you will know in a deeper way that you are His child and that Jesus loves you completely, that He will heal the wound left by your brother and give you grace to forgive and to find peace, that He will guide your steps regarding Israel according to His will, and that He will comfort your heart concerning children and help you to find your deepest satisfaction and hope in Him while you wait on His faithful care.
I want you to know that the love of Jesus for you is not something you can earn or purchase or lose by how others treat you or by how you feel about yourself. Scripture shows His love as unquenchable, like a love that keeps flowing toward His people even when they feel unworthy. He is pictured as a husband who loves His people with a deep and faithful love, and His love for you is of that same kind. You cannot buy it by trying harder or being better, and trying to do so only cheapens what He freely gives. Righteousness before God does not come by rules or works, it comes through Christ alone. If we could make ourselves worthy, Christ would not have needed to die. Your worth is not measured by your brother's actions or by your own feelings about yourself. If you are His child, you are born of Him, adopted into His family, and His Spirit bears witness that you belong to Him. That is where your value lies, in what He has done for you, not in what you feel in this moment.
The Lord also knows your longings to return to Israel and to have children. Those desires are understandable and He hears the cry of those who long and wait. Throughout Scripture when His people were oppressed or scattered or in sorrow, they cried out to Him and He heard them. He is faithful to His promises to His children, and what He has promised He will do. At the same time only the Lord Himself can truly satisfy the heart. When we look to any good gift, even a good and right desire like family or a place we love, to give us our ultimate fulfillment, that desire can become too heavy a burden for us to carry. He wants you to look to Him first for life and satisfaction, and to bring your longings to Him with patience and hope. Hope by its nature looks for what is not yet seen, and we are called to wait for the Lord's timing with patience, trusting that He is working even now to prepare you for what He has for you.
In your depression, pour out your heart before Him like water. Lift up your hands to Him honestly. Tell Him about the hurt from your brother, about feeling worthless, about not loving yourself, about wanting children and wanting to be in Israel. He invites that kind of honest prayer and He does not turn away from it.
I am praying that God will lift this heaviness and give you a renewed sense of His unquenchable love, that you will know in a deeper way that you are His child and that Jesus loves you completely, that He will heal the wound left by your brother and give you grace to forgive and to find peace, that He will guide your steps regarding Israel according to His will, and that He will comfort your heart concerning children and help you to find your deepest satisfaction and hope in Him while you wait on His faithful care.
