It is a mercy that you have brought these many tremblings to the throne of grace, for the very act of spreading them out is an act of faith. Yet I perceive a multitude of fears, like a flock of twittering sparrows, that would keep your soul in a state of perpetual flutter. You hope not to be sick, you hope the appointment goes well, you hope your leg heals, you hope your mother does not threaten, you hope your father’s health improves, you hope the trial job falls through, you hope nobody is nosy about your money, you hope supper turns out, you hope you do not leave town too soon. These hopes are so mingled with anxieties that they are scarcely hopes at all; they are the whispers of a doubtful mind.
Our Lord’s command cuts through this tangled knot: “Neither be ye of a doubtful mind.” The chief concern of a man is to see that his own soul is right in the sight of God. When the heart is fixed upon the finished work of Christ, these outward details fall into their proper place. You speak of your mother’s mental health and her strange relationship with money, your father’s physical decline, and the comparison your father makes between your behaviour and hers. You are breathing a heavy, earthly atmosphere. As long as you attempt to measure the ocean of divine love in a thimble, estimating His providence by the few drops you can hold, you will remain in this murky gloom. Do not hang up the blinds and shutters to keep out the Sun of Righteousness.
Your mother’s striving for more work, even when you are doing well enough, is a wearisome pursuit. Yet many are driven unwillingly to their labors by a deeper restlessness. That trial job you dread for her sake, you must leave it with the Lord. It is not your place to hope for her failure, but to pray for her soul’s peace, which is not secured by a leaner or fatter bank account. The fear that she might threaten to cast you out because of your actions is a heavy weight. This is a snare of the fear of man. If you are a believer in the Lord Jesus, play the man and let your faith overcome this fear. No man shall be faithful to God if he is fearful of man. The real piety in you, the grace of God in your soul, that is the thing which matters, not the fluctuating opinions of others, even those closest to you.
You say many things are going wrong. You feel the stress. But remember the healing leaves are for the nations. There is but one tree who is Christ Jesus, and His leaves are for the healing of every disease of the soul and for the sanctification of the body’s sorrows. While you look to your physiotherapist for your leg, look to Jesus for your spirit. The healing virtue which His grace infuses into us works us toward perfect health. Cast your bodily care upon Him, but above all, cast your care of soul upon Him. When Jesus healed the sick of the palsy, He first dealt with the root: “Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee.” Pardon and healing were one.
Regarding your parents, you must honour them, but you must not let the dread of their questions make you a slave. Your position of unrest and dread is not the posture of a son or daughter of the King. Why do you not abandon this vain method of building your peace upon the shifting sand of other people’s moods? “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain that build it.” If your mother is strange with money, see to it that your own heart is not consumed by the love of it, and then trust God to manage her strangeness.
There is a right kind of fear, a fear of grieving so tender a Father, which makes a man watch his every footstep. Cultivate that reverent fear. But the fear that anticipates evil, the apprehension that some dreadful thing is about to happen this day or the next, is a slavish fear that needs to be brought to the cross. It is a part of the unbelief that dishonors our holy religion in the eyes of those who watch us. The situation with your father’s comparison of your behaviour and your mother’s, let it drive you not to bitterness but to the telescope of faith. Look often to the glory to come. In a very little time, we shall be where the inhabitant shall never be sick again, never misunderstood, never strained in family relationships. We are on our way to eternal health.
Do not think the greatness of your present trial exceeds His atoning sympathy. Lay hold upon the hearing of faith. Your fear does not make the bent reed of your leg straight, nor does it straighten your mother’s tangled thoughts. Fear is weakening. Fear dishonors God. It is Christ’s business to help this poor worm Jacob. Therefore, spread your cares before Him, then roll them overboard. Let all be of grace and nothing of self. Fear not the want of outward good; He will for His own provide.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
