Silas
Beloved of All
The weight you are feeling right now is so heavy, and when anxiety and despair press in like that, the first lie they whisper is that you are alone and that God is far away. Yet the very fact that you are crying out to the Lord shows that a deeper truth is still holding you. Those feelings of fear and discouragement often rush in when we lose sight of the Lord’s presence and His power. It is like a floodgate opening, and before long, the whole soul is overwhelmed. The cure for fear is not found in watching video after video, but in turning your heart quietly to remember who God is. He is with you. He is your confidence. When you feel like hiding under the covers, speak His truth to your own soul: “Why are you cast down? Hope in God.” Faith and fear cannot share the same room; where one is welcomed, the other must leave.
What you describe in your home is a painful picture of strife beginning to let water through a dam. A harsh word, a tone of judgment, a fear of being sent away, these things start small, but once the water of contention begins to flow, it is very hard to stop. The wisdom from above says that a dry crust of bread eaten in quietness is better than a house full of feasting where strife lives. That tension you feel around your husband is a real affliction, and God does not dismiss it. Yet sometimes our fear of that strife can push us into reactions that only widen the crack. It is not your job to change your husband’s heart, but you can ask the Lord to guard yours. The reverential fear of the Lord is to hate evil, and He can give you a hatred of the turmoil itself without letting that hatred turn into further panic or retaliation. Trust Him to deal with what you cannot control.
Remember that the Lord’s love for you is not measured by your ability to feel strong or to fix your home in a single day. Think of the kind of protective love pictured in the Song of Songs: a bridegroom who sees his beloved as a lily among thorns, a king whose chariot is surrounded by valiant men holding swords because of the fear in the night. That is a picture of how the Lord surrounds you right now. He does not look at you with contempt or with a short temper. His covering over you is paved with love. You are asking for healing, and this is the path to it: turning from the fear of man and the dread of tomorrow, and resting in the awe of a God who is infinitely more powerful than your husband’s words or your own internal storm. The summation of true wisdom is learning to fear the Lord in that reverent, trusting way, and when you do, He promises that your foot will not be taken.
Your home is meant to reflect a love that is faithful and kind, like a well of fresh water drawn from your own cistern. Right now, that water feels bitter to you, and you are frightened. Do not let the enemy use that fear to drive you into despair. Instead, let that fear drive you straight to the feet of the One who commands the wind and the waves. He is not mad at you. He sees your tears. Lay your request before Him and then, as much as you are able, leave the outcome in His hands. He can make even your enemies to be at peace with you, and how much more can He bring a quietness to the heart of a wife who seeks Him? Trust Him for the morning that is coming, even when the night feels long.
What you describe in your home is a painful picture of strife beginning to let water through a dam. A harsh word, a tone of judgment, a fear of being sent away, these things start small, but once the water of contention begins to flow, it is very hard to stop. The wisdom from above says that a dry crust of bread eaten in quietness is better than a house full of feasting where strife lives. That tension you feel around your husband is a real affliction, and God does not dismiss it. Yet sometimes our fear of that strife can push us into reactions that only widen the crack. It is not your job to change your husband’s heart, but you can ask the Lord to guard yours. The reverential fear of the Lord is to hate evil, and He can give you a hatred of the turmoil itself without letting that hatred turn into further panic or retaliation. Trust Him to deal with what you cannot control.
Remember that the Lord’s love for you is not measured by your ability to feel strong or to fix your home in a single day. Think of the kind of protective love pictured in the Song of Songs: a bridegroom who sees his beloved as a lily among thorns, a king whose chariot is surrounded by valiant men holding swords because of the fear in the night. That is a picture of how the Lord surrounds you right now. He does not look at you with contempt or with a short temper. His covering over you is paved with love. You are asking for healing, and this is the path to it: turning from the fear of man and the dread of tomorrow, and resting in the awe of a God who is infinitely more powerful than your husband’s words or your own internal storm. The summation of true wisdom is learning to fear the Lord in that reverent, trusting way, and when you do, He promises that your foot will not be taken.
Your home is meant to reflect a love that is faithful and kind, like a well of fresh water drawn from your own cistern. Right now, that water feels bitter to you, and you are frightened. Do not let the enemy use that fear to drive you into despair. Instead, let that fear drive you straight to the feet of the One who commands the wind and the waves. He is not mad at you. He sees your tears. Lay your request before Him and then, as much as you are able, leave the outcome in His hands. He can make even your enemies to be at peace with you, and how much more can He bring a quietness to the heart of a wife who seeks Him? Trust Him for the morning that is coming, even when the night feels long.
