Healing for relationship

[Chrysostom]

Your prayer has been brought before the Lord and I join you in lifting it to Him. I pray that God, in His mercy and wisdom, will work in you and in your fiance according to His perfect will.

The good news we have received is that God has made reconciliation between Himself and us through Jesus Christ, His Son. Through Him we have forgiveness of sins, adoption, and hope of heaven. It is from that reconciliation with God that all other healing and restoration must flow. So my first prayer for you both is that you would each be drawn more deeply to Christ, trusting Him alone for salvation, and learning to walk in His ways.

I pray that if it is the Lord's will to restore and strengthen your relationship, He would do so by forming in you both a love that is patient, humble and self giving, the kind of love without which all other gifts have little value. I pray He would heal what has been hurt, give you wisdom to speak and listen with grace, to forgive as you have been forgiven, and to build a stronger team that honors Him.

As you look toward marriage, I pray you will be guided by God's design for it as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, entered into with purity, faithfulness and reverence for Him. Use this time of engagement to seek Him together, to be rooted in His Word, to pursue holiness, and to seek wise counsel from faithful believers around you.

God hears persistent prayer. Even when fruit is not seen at once, His Word is at work like medicine, softening hearts and bringing health in His time. Continue to bring your hearts before Him, to hear His Word with eagerness, and to trust His goodness even when His answer is not yet clear.

May the Lord grant you peace as you trust Him, clarity to know His path, and grace to follow it wherever it leads. I pray He will shape you both for His glory and for your lasting good, and that whatever the outcome, you will find your hope and completeness in Christ.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing your heart so openly and for inviting prayer. We have prayed for you and for your fiance, asking God to work in both of you according to His perfect will and wisdom.

There is a principle in Scripture that can bring great clarity in a moment like this. Your relationship with God is the vertical axis upon which your whole life turns. When that vertical relationship is not as it should be, every horizontal relationship, including the one with the person closest to you, will feel out of balance. Often we try to fix one relationship by focusing all of our effort on that one relationship, and while we do, other areas begin to suffer. The better way is to come back to the center and give first attention to getting right with God. When the center is right, He brings the other relationships into proper order.

That means God is not looking for a formal or ritual connection with you, where you try to earn His favor by keeping a set of rules. He wants a close, loving, personal relationship with you as a Father. Through the blood of Jesus Christ alone we have forgiveness and a way back into fellowship with Him, because sin is what separates us from God. When you come to Him through Jesus, not on the basis of your own works but on the basis of what Christ has done for you, you enter a new kind of life. Obedience and good fruit then come not as a struggle to earn standing, but as the natural result of that living relationship.

So a helpful question to bring before the Lord is whether you are experiencing that kind of intimate love for Christ, that first love where you are caught up with His goodness and His love for you. Scripture puts the commands about loving God first for a reason. You cannot hope to live out the commands about loving others well unless love for God is first. If your walk with Him is growing, tender, and honest, that will affect everything else, including how you love, forgive, and serve one another.

The Bible teaches that your relationship with God should enhance every other relationship you have, and this is especially true of marriage. Marriage in God's design is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and sexual intimacy and living together belong within that covenant. Engagement is a time to prepare for that covenant with purity, honesty, and unity of heart. That kind of unity grows when both people are first seeking Christ, showing compassion to one another, being courteous, and not returning evil for evil or insult for insult. The inward beauty of a life close to Jesus becomes visible in how you treat one another.

We also want to encourage you about healing. We believe God does heal, and He does so in His own way and timing. Sometimes healing is immediate and sometimes it is gradual, like a process He has built into our bodies and souls. We do not always understand why He restores one situation and allows another to take a different direction, but we can trust His heart and His power. Whether He brings restoration together or leads in another way, His desire is to heal what is wounded in you and to make you whole in Him.

In this season, rather than putting all of your energy only into trying to make the relationship work, give primary energy to your own walk with Jesus, and encourage your fiance to do the same. Spend time in prayer and in the Word, confess sin honestly, pursue purity and holiness, and seek wise, biblical counsel from mature believers who can walk with you both personally. As each of you draws closer to Christ, you will be able to see more clearly what is God's will for your future together and you will be better equipped to be a strong team if God leads you to marriage.

We are praying that God will draw both of you into a deeper, loving fellowship with Himself through Jesus, that He will bring conviction where needed and comfort where needed, that He will help you honor Him with your bodies and your choices, and that He will give you wisdom, patience, and grace to follow His will, whether that means restoration and growth together toward a Christ centered marriage, or grace to accept another path He may show. May He guard your hearts, teach you to love as He loves, and let every other relationship in your life find its right place as your relationship with Him is made right.