Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Your prayer has come before the Lord and before this church, and we join you in thanksgiving that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting our trespasses against us. We hear your resolve to forgive your wife fully, and this is right and according to the gospel. Scripture commands us to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other even as God in Christ forgave us, and to be imitators of God as beloved children. You do well to forgive as you have been forgiven, for if we forgive others, our heavenly Father also forgives us, and if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven.
We also hear your pain over covenant unfaithfulness, and we will not call good what God calls sin, nor ask God to bless what He calls adultery. Marriage is a binding covenant while both live, and the woman who is bound to her husband is bound by the law so long as he lives. Fornication and adultery are not small faults, they defile the body and the soul, and Scripture is plain that fornicators and adulterers God will judge, and that without holiness no one will see the Lord. Sexual immorality is deceitful and excludes from the kingdom if persisted in, and God cannot be mocked.
Therefore we pray with you not for the continuation of sin, but for true repentance. The Lord said to those He forgave, Go and sin no more, and again, sin no more lest something worse befall you. Forgiveness pronounced is not permission to remain in sin. There is a repentance that is real and a sorrow that is not. Esau sought the blessing with tears yet found no place of repentance because he did not repent as he ought, and his later intent to kill his brother proved it. Peter after his denial went out and wept bitterly, and his repentance was accepted. So we pray that your wife may not have only tears or words, but a godly sorrow that turns from darkness to light, from the power of Satan to God, that she may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those sanctified by faith in Christ.
We pray as you asked that the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ would shine in her heart, for the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving. Only God can give a new heart and put a new spirit within, removing the heart of stone and giving a heart of flesh, and cause a person to be born again, for unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God. We agree with you that God desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth, that He takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked but desires that the wicked turn from his way and live, and that He is patient, not wishing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.
We will pray for you as well, that your own prayers remain pure and accompanied with thanksgiving, not with cursing or with imprecations against another. The mouth that has touched the holy mysteries and that seeks mercy must not utter bitter curses, for cursing and praying are far apart, and he who does not forgive will not be forgiven. You have chosen the better way, to intercede for your enemy and for the one who has wounded you most, as Christ said Father forgive them for they know not what they do, and as Stephen prayed Lord do not hold this sin against them. Continue in that love which is long suffering and seeks the good of the other.
We encourage you to continue in prayer and fasting as the early church did, for fasting lends wings to prayer, and to remain under sound pastoral counsel and the teaching of the Word. Let all Scripture correct and train you in righteousness, let it teach what is true and expose what is wrong, and let your life be a living letter known and read by all. Keep yourself in holiness and peace, keep the marriage bed honored, and do not seek to be loosed hastily, but seek the Lord's will whether He will grant repentance and restoration. If repentance comes, it must be proven by faithfulness and by a life that walks in love as Christ loved us and gave Himself for us.
So we pray: Father, grant this sister the fear of You which is the beginning of wisdom, grant her revelation to know You, open her eyes, soften her heart, protect her and the young ones from stumbling and from the evil one, and keep her from temptation. Sanctify her by Your truth, for Your word is truth. Grant this brother wisdom and discernment, that love may abound with knowledge, that he may choose what is excellent, and that he may say with Christ, nevertheless not my will but Yours be done. Lead both to the washing of regeneration and renewal by the Holy Spirit, that being justified by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, who alone is mediator between God and man and who bore our sins on the cross, you may both walk in newness of life and devote yourselves to good deeds. We ask this in the name of Jesus, trusting His mercy and His power to save.
We also hear your pain over covenant unfaithfulness, and we will not call good what God calls sin, nor ask God to bless what He calls adultery. Marriage is a binding covenant while both live, and the woman who is bound to her husband is bound by the law so long as he lives. Fornication and adultery are not small faults, they defile the body and the soul, and Scripture is plain that fornicators and adulterers God will judge, and that without holiness no one will see the Lord. Sexual immorality is deceitful and excludes from the kingdom if persisted in, and God cannot be mocked.
Therefore we pray with you not for the continuation of sin, but for true repentance. The Lord said to those He forgave, Go and sin no more, and again, sin no more lest something worse befall you. Forgiveness pronounced is not permission to remain in sin. There is a repentance that is real and a sorrow that is not. Esau sought the blessing with tears yet found no place of repentance because he did not repent as he ought, and his later intent to kill his brother proved it. Peter after his denial went out and wept bitterly, and his repentance was accepted. So we pray that your wife may not have only tears or words, but a godly sorrow that turns from darkness to light, from the power of Satan to God, that she may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those sanctified by faith in Christ.
We pray as you asked that the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ would shine in her heart, for the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving. Only God can give a new heart and put a new spirit within, removing the heart of stone and giving a heart of flesh, and cause a person to be born again, for unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God. We agree with you that God desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth, that He takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked but desires that the wicked turn from his way and live, and that He is patient, not wishing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.
We will pray for you as well, that your own prayers remain pure and accompanied with thanksgiving, not with cursing or with imprecations against another. The mouth that has touched the holy mysteries and that seeks mercy must not utter bitter curses, for cursing and praying are far apart, and he who does not forgive will not be forgiven. You have chosen the better way, to intercede for your enemy and for the one who has wounded you most, as Christ said Father forgive them for they know not what they do, and as Stephen prayed Lord do not hold this sin against them. Continue in that love which is long suffering and seeks the good of the other.
We encourage you to continue in prayer and fasting as the early church did, for fasting lends wings to prayer, and to remain under sound pastoral counsel and the teaching of the Word. Let all Scripture correct and train you in righteousness, let it teach what is true and expose what is wrong, and let your life be a living letter known and read by all. Keep yourself in holiness and peace, keep the marriage bed honored, and do not seek to be loosed hastily, but seek the Lord's will whether He will grant repentance and restoration. If repentance comes, it must be proven by faithfulness and by a life that walks in love as Christ loved us and gave Himself for us.
So we pray: Father, grant this sister the fear of You which is the beginning of wisdom, grant her revelation to know You, open her eyes, soften her heart, protect her and the young ones from stumbling and from the evil one, and keep her from temptation. Sanctify her by Your truth, for Your word is truth. Grant this brother wisdom and discernment, that love may abound with knowledge, that he may choose what is excellent, and that he may say with Christ, nevertheless not my will but Yours be done. Lead both to the washing of regeneration and renewal by the Holy Spirit, that being justified by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, who alone is mediator between God and man and who bore our sins on the cross, you may both walk in newness of life and devote yourselves to good deeds. We ask this in the name of Jesus, trusting His mercy and His power to save.
