Silas
Beloved of All
Your prayer shows a heart that wants to obey Jesus in a very painful place, and that desire to forgive as you have been forgiven is right and Christlike. To choose to release the debt of the one who has hurt you most, as Jesus prayed Father forgive them and as Stephen prayed while being stoned, reflects the mercy you have received. That forgiveness on your part is obedience to what Scripture teaches in Matthew 6, Mark 11, Ephesians 4 and Colossians 3, and it keeps your own heart free before God.
It is also important to remember what forgiveness can and cannot do. When you tell another person you forgive them, that is needed and good, but it does not in itself bring them forgiveness from God. Sin is ultimately against God who gave the command, and each person must ask God for forgiveness themselves. God has provided one way for sin to be atoned for, through Jesus Christ alone, and there is no other provision. For your wife to know that forgiveness she must herself turn to Him.
That is why Scripture puts such weight on repentance. John baptized in the wilderness preaching that people should turn from sin so that sins could be forgiven, and people came confessing their sins. Jesus came preaching the same call to turn, saying He did not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance, that those who are sick need a physician. At the end of the age He still calls His people to repent. The call is repeated because repentance is needed. It is not only sorrow or words, but a change, a turning, a new direction that is then seen in life. When that change is real it shows itself in restoration.
Many times in prayer we focus only on the painful symptoms in a situation. The deeper need is the problem of sin in the heart. That is what to keep praying for, not only that circumstances would ease, but that the eyes of the heart would be opened. As you quoted from 2 Corinthians 4, the god of this age blinds minds, but God shines light into hearts to give the knowledge of His glory in the face of Jesus Christ. That light comes through His Word, which is truth and which sanctifies, corrects and teaches what is right. Pray that the light would shine and that she would receive a new heart and new spirit as promised in Ezekiel 36 and Jeremiah 31, that she would be born again as Jesus said is necessary to see and enter the kingdom in John 3.
God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked but desires that all come to repentance and to the knowledge of the truth, that none should perish. The heavens rejoice over one sinner who truly turns. At the same time Scripture is honest that sexual immorality and adultery are deceptive, that the deeds of the flesh are evident, that God cannot be mocked, and that without holiness no one will see the Lord. Jesus Himself after extending mercy said go and sin no more, and warned do not sin again lest something worse come upon you. True mercy does not leave a person in sin but calls them out of it so they may live.
Your desire to show kindness in hopes that the kindness of God would lead to repentance, as Romans 2 teaches, is right. Continue to seek wisdom generously as James 1 promises, that love would abound with knowledge and discernment, and to pray as Jesus prayed in the garden, asking honestly for what you desire yet submitting to the Father with nevertheless Your will be done. Fasting and prayer together can help focus the heart before God, and it is good to keep using Scripture, letting the Word dwell and be lived out so that your life is a letter that can be read.
You are right to pray also for protection for the young ones, that they would not stumble, and that they and all the family would be kept from the evil one and from temptation as Jesus prayed in Matthew 6 and John 17. Keep interceding that God would soften the heart of stone, grant repentance for the remission of sins as proclaimed in Luke 24 and Acts 3, bring refreshing and renewal by His mercy as Titus 3 describes, and make a new creation that is devoted to good works. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and sexual union belongs within it. God can restore what is broken when there is true turning, and where Scripture allows for separation because of adultery or desertion, the heart that seeks mercy and reconciliation first, hoping for a testimony of saving grace that displays Christ and the church as in Ephesians 5, honors Him.
May the Lord give you steadiness to keep forgiving, to keep speaking truth in love, to keep praying for a real turning and not only for outward change, and to trust His will and timing. May He guard you from deception, keep you in His truth, and cause His light to shine in darkness so that those who are still blinded may turn from darkness to light and receive an inheritance among those sanctified by faith in Jesus Christ.
It is also important to remember what forgiveness can and cannot do. When you tell another person you forgive them, that is needed and good, but it does not in itself bring them forgiveness from God. Sin is ultimately against God who gave the command, and each person must ask God for forgiveness themselves. God has provided one way for sin to be atoned for, through Jesus Christ alone, and there is no other provision. For your wife to know that forgiveness she must herself turn to Him.
That is why Scripture puts such weight on repentance. John baptized in the wilderness preaching that people should turn from sin so that sins could be forgiven, and people came confessing their sins. Jesus came preaching the same call to turn, saying He did not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance, that those who are sick need a physician. At the end of the age He still calls His people to repent. The call is repeated because repentance is needed. It is not only sorrow or words, but a change, a turning, a new direction that is then seen in life. When that change is real it shows itself in restoration.
Many times in prayer we focus only on the painful symptoms in a situation. The deeper need is the problem of sin in the heart. That is what to keep praying for, not only that circumstances would ease, but that the eyes of the heart would be opened. As you quoted from 2 Corinthians 4, the god of this age blinds minds, but God shines light into hearts to give the knowledge of His glory in the face of Jesus Christ. That light comes through His Word, which is truth and which sanctifies, corrects and teaches what is right. Pray that the light would shine and that she would receive a new heart and new spirit as promised in Ezekiel 36 and Jeremiah 31, that she would be born again as Jesus said is necessary to see and enter the kingdom in John 3.
God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked but desires that all come to repentance and to the knowledge of the truth, that none should perish. The heavens rejoice over one sinner who truly turns. At the same time Scripture is honest that sexual immorality and adultery are deceptive, that the deeds of the flesh are evident, that God cannot be mocked, and that without holiness no one will see the Lord. Jesus Himself after extending mercy said go and sin no more, and warned do not sin again lest something worse come upon you. True mercy does not leave a person in sin but calls them out of it so they may live.
Your desire to show kindness in hopes that the kindness of God would lead to repentance, as Romans 2 teaches, is right. Continue to seek wisdom generously as James 1 promises, that love would abound with knowledge and discernment, and to pray as Jesus prayed in the garden, asking honestly for what you desire yet submitting to the Father with nevertheless Your will be done. Fasting and prayer together can help focus the heart before God, and it is good to keep using Scripture, letting the Word dwell and be lived out so that your life is a letter that can be read.
You are right to pray also for protection for the young ones, that they would not stumble, and that they and all the family would be kept from the evil one and from temptation as Jesus prayed in Matthew 6 and John 17. Keep interceding that God would soften the heart of stone, grant repentance for the remission of sins as proclaimed in Luke 24 and Acts 3, bring refreshing and renewal by His mercy as Titus 3 describes, and make a new creation that is devoted to good works. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and sexual union belongs within it. God can restore what is broken when there is true turning, and where Scripture allows for separation because of adultery or desertion, the heart that seeks mercy and reconciliation first, hoping for a testimony of saving grace that displays Christ and the church as in Ephesians 5, honors Him.
May the Lord give you steadiness to keep forgiving, to keep speaking truth in love, to keep praying for a real turning and not only for outward change, and to trust His will and timing. May He guard you from deception, keep you in His truth, and cause His light to shine in darkness so that those who are still blinded may turn from darkness to light and receive an inheritance among those sanctified by faith in Jesus Christ.
