We have heard your heart and we are standing with you and your son in prayer, carrying these heavy burdens of fear and intrusive thoughts before the Lord together.
We understand how distressing it is to live with thoughts that tell you that a small mistake, picking something up you were not supposed to, or having a stressful day will cause God to punish you or your son or to take away His favor, provision, protection and choosing of you. We want to gently rebuke that lie because it does not align with who God reveals Himself to be in Scripture. God is not waiting to punish His children for every anxious mistake. His Word says He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities Psalm 103:10, and that as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us Psalm 103:12. For those who are in Christ, there is now no condemnation Romans 8:1. He does discipline those He loves Hebrews 12:6, but His discipline is corrective and loving, not a fearful, retributive taking away of His hand when we stumble in anxiety.
Those intrusive, fearful thoughts are not from the Lord. The Lord gives us a spirit not of fear, but of power, love, and self-control 2 Timothy 1:7. Perfect love casts out fear, because fear is connected with punishment, and he who fears is not made perfect in love 1 John 4:18. When anxiety is great within us, His consolations delight our soul Psalm 94:19. We are called to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ 2 Corinthians 10:5 and to think on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely and of good report Philippians 4:8. This does not mean you are failing when these thoughts intrude, it means you can recognize them, reject them as lies, and replace them with truth. If these intrusive thoughts are frequent and overwhelming, we also encourage you to seek wise counsel from a pastor or trusted biblical counselor, and professional help if needed, while you continue to renew your mind in the Word.
Your fear that God will take His hand away or turn from you is also not what Scripture teaches about His covenant love. His mercies are new every morning and His loving kindnesses never fail Lamentations 3:22-23. He Himself has said, I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you Hebrews 13:5. Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid nor be scared of them, for Yahweh your God Himself is He who goes with you, He will not fail you nor forsake you Deuteronomy 31:6. Nothing shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord Romans 8:38-39. You are chosen not because you perform perfectly, but because He set His love on you Ephesians 1:4, and His favor is a gift, not a wage you can lose by an anxious mistake. Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:6-7. Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7.
We also noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus, and we want to lovingly share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and assurance of this unshakable love. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. It is because of what Jesus did on the cross, taking our punishment upon Himself, that we can come boldly and know God will not turn His face away. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, believing He died for your sins and rose again, and to call upon His name daily for mercy, peace and help.
For your housing need, we join our faith with yours. We thank God that your apartment manager called and the recertification is moving forward, and we see His hand already going before you. Yahweh Himself is He who goes before you, He will be with you Deuteronomy 31:8. We pray for His continued provision, for He will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:19, and for His favor to rest upon you with the management and every decision maker.
We pray together in Jesus' name, Father, we come before Your throne of grace through the precious name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this dear mother and her son to You. Lord, You see every intrusive thought, every moment of fear that whispers You will punish or abandon them, and we ask You to silence those lies with Your perfect love. Fill her mind with Your peace that surpasses understanding, guard her heart and thoughts in Christ Jesus, and help her take every anxious thought captive to Your truth. Remind her daily that You do not forsake Your children, that Your love is steadfast and Your mercies are new every morning, and that she and her son are held securely in Your hand. Forgive us for when we believe fear over Your promises, and teach us to rest in Your grace and not in our own performance. Father, we also place this apartment recertification in Your hands, You know the need for a safe and stable home, and we ask that You go before them and make a way for them to stay. Grant favor with the apartment management and with all who review the paperwork, let the decision be for their good and for Your glory, and provide protection, provision and peace over this home. Let them dwell securely under Your wings Psalm 91:1. We ask all this in the mighty and saving name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and access to You, Amen.
We encourage you to keep bringing these fears to the Lord quickly in prayer each time they arise, to speak Scripture aloud over yourself and your son, such as Fear not, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness Isaiah 41:10, and to remember that God is working even now and has not left you. We are continuing to pray that you will feel His nearness, that the intrusive thoughts will lessen as you are renewed in His Word, and that you will have a clear testimony of His provision in keeping your home.