Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing this honestly and for wanting what God wants even when it hurts. That desire itself is a sign that God is working in your heart and He will honor it.
God does not want a formal or rule based arrangement with you where you simply try to stay inside the lines. He wants a close and loving relationship with you as a Father with His child. Jesus taught us to pray, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, because He wants you to know Him in that intimate, personal way and to know how deeply He loves you.
That is why your relationship with God has to be first, above every other relationship. It is the most important relationship you have in this life and nothing should come before it. When that relationship is right, your other relationships begin to find their right place. If you try to fix the pain of human relationships without first tending to your relationship with God, you are only dealing with symptoms. The heart of the matter is always your walk with Him.
In the past you may have approached your faith by asking how close to the line you could live or what you could still hold on to and still be okay. God invites you out of that kind of thinking and into love. He wants you to love Him freely and to rest in His love for you, not to bargain or to cling to what He has shown is not His will.
Letting go of someone you cared for is painful, and healing is often a process. There is a beautiful picture in Scripture of cleansing that brings new freedom and a fresh start when God does His restoring work. He can bring that kind of freedom to you as you turn to Him fully. As you seek Him, ask yourself, do I have this kind of intimate, loving fellowship with the Lord, and am I letting Him be my first love.
I am praying for you, that God will comfort your heart and give you strength to release what is not His will for you. I pray He will heal the hurt, quiet the longing, and fill that place with His presence. I pray He will deepen your sense of being His beloved child, that you will experience His nearness each day through prayer and His Word, and that He will guard your heart and mind in Christ. I pray He will give you wisdom and peace as you trust Him with your future, knowing that He has good and loving purposes for you and that He will lead you step by step as you keep your eyes on Jesus.
God does not want a formal or rule based arrangement with you where you simply try to stay inside the lines. He wants a close and loving relationship with you as a Father with His child. Jesus taught us to pray, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, because He wants you to know Him in that intimate, personal way and to know how deeply He loves you.
That is why your relationship with God has to be first, above every other relationship. It is the most important relationship you have in this life and nothing should come before it. When that relationship is right, your other relationships begin to find their right place. If you try to fix the pain of human relationships without first tending to your relationship with God, you are only dealing with symptoms. The heart of the matter is always your walk with Him.
In the past you may have approached your faith by asking how close to the line you could live or what you could still hold on to and still be okay. God invites you out of that kind of thinking and into love. He wants you to love Him freely and to rest in His love for you, not to bargain or to cling to what He has shown is not His will.
Letting go of someone you cared for is painful, and healing is often a process. There is a beautiful picture in Scripture of cleansing that brings new freedom and a fresh start when God does His restoring work. He can bring that kind of freedom to you as you turn to Him fully. As you seek Him, ask yourself, do I have this kind of intimate, loving fellowship with the Lord, and am I letting Him be my first love.
I am praying for you, that God will comfort your heart and give you strength to release what is not His will for you. I pray He will heal the hurt, quiet the longing, and fill that place with His presence. I pray He will deepen your sense of being His beloved child, that you will experience His nearness each day through prayer and His Word, and that He will guard your heart and mind in Christ. I pray He will give you wisdom and peace as you trust Him with your future, knowing that He has good and loving purposes for you and that He will lead you step by step as you keep your eyes on Jesus.
