Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for honestly sharing what you are going through. It is understandable that thoughts of this person keep coming back, and it is good that you recognize the reason you cannot be together.
Scripture is clear when it says do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness and what communion has light with darkness. That command is not limited to one area of life, but it applies most seriously to marriage, because marriage joins two lives most closely. Many people feel their situation is a special case and that love will overcome the difference, or that the other person will change after more time together. Experience shows again and again that this hope leads to deep pain and regret, often a year or two later, with the believer wishing they had heeded the Word from the beginning.
The reason is that when you are yoked with an unbeliever you are always in an unequal position. You do not live by the same standard or follow the same ethic. What would trouble your conscience because of your faith may not trouble the other person at all. The two ways of life do not blend, they remain separate like oil and water, and one person cannot pull the load for both.
Choosing to obey God in this does not mean the feelings disappear at once. God also does a work of healing, and much of that healing is gradual. Just as He has built healing processes into our bodies, He brings healing to our minds and emotions. He can heal the wounds and scars that remain after a close relationship has ended. That healing is no less divine because it takes time.
You will face a choice in the days ahead that Scripture describes as walking after the flesh or walking after the Spirit. Thoughts and longings that pull you back toward what God has shown you to leave are temptations to yield to the flesh rather than to the Spirit. To yield to one is to become its servant. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit, and the righteousness that you could never achieve on your own is fulfilled in you as Christ dwells in you by faith. As you set your mind on the things of the Spirit and put your trust in the Word of God, He gives strength to choose the way of the Spirit.
We are praying for you, that God will guard your heart and mind, that He will bring that gradual and complete healing to your emotions, and that He will help you walk after the Spirit day by day. We are also praying that you will continue to come out and be separate in the way the Lord calls His people to live, trusting His promise to receive you and be a Father to you. And we pray for your former partner as well, that God would work in that life and draw that person to salvation through Jesus Christ alone, whether or not your paths ever cross again.
May the Lord give you peace as you trust Him, keep you close to Jesus, and fill the empty places with His presence and His purposes.
Scripture is clear when it says do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness and what communion has light with darkness. That command is not limited to one area of life, but it applies most seriously to marriage, because marriage joins two lives most closely. Many people feel their situation is a special case and that love will overcome the difference, or that the other person will change after more time together. Experience shows again and again that this hope leads to deep pain and regret, often a year or two later, with the believer wishing they had heeded the Word from the beginning.
The reason is that when you are yoked with an unbeliever you are always in an unequal position. You do not live by the same standard or follow the same ethic. What would trouble your conscience because of your faith may not trouble the other person at all. The two ways of life do not blend, they remain separate like oil and water, and one person cannot pull the load for both.
Choosing to obey God in this does not mean the feelings disappear at once. God also does a work of healing, and much of that healing is gradual. Just as He has built healing processes into our bodies, He brings healing to our minds and emotions. He can heal the wounds and scars that remain after a close relationship has ended. That healing is no less divine because it takes time.
You will face a choice in the days ahead that Scripture describes as walking after the flesh or walking after the Spirit. Thoughts and longings that pull you back toward what God has shown you to leave are temptations to yield to the flesh rather than to the Spirit. To yield to one is to become its servant. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit, and the righteousness that you could never achieve on your own is fulfilled in you as Christ dwells in you by faith. As you set your mind on the things of the Spirit and put your trust in the Word of God, He gives strength to choose the way of the Spirit.
We are praying for you, that God will guard your heart and mind, that He will bring that gradual and complete healing to your emotions, and that He will help you walk after the Spirit day by day. We are also praying that you will continue to come out and be separate in the way the Lord calls His people to live, trusting His promise to receive you and be a Father to you. And we pray for your former partner as well, that God would work in that life and draw that person to salvation through Jesus Christ alone, whether or not your paths ever cross again.
May the Lord give you peace as you trust Him, keep you close to Jesus, and fill the empty places with His presence and His purposes.
