Ex boyfriend

[Nyfre]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your honesty and contrite spirit in sharing this is a good and hopeful sign, for God looks to the one who is meek and quiet and trembles at His word, and a contrite and humble heart He will not despise. You have named clearly what happened, that you entered a relationship you knew was outside of God's will because of loneliness, and that you have now ended it because you were unequally yoked. That decision to step away, though painful, was right and obedient. To cleanse ourselves from worldly things and to strike our roots deep in His instructions is how we are fortified, and you have taken that difficult step.

It is understandable that you feel torn now. You can know at the same time that it is for the best not to speak again and still feel grief and disbelief that the silence has come after so much shared history and a friendship before dating. Grief often lingers even when we know a loss is necessary, and healing does not happen all at once. Like a tree that receives many strokes before it bears fruit, the Lord often works through patient, repeated hearing of His word and steady trust. Do not be discouraged that the ache remains after a week. Give yourself time to grieve with lowliness and meekness and long suffering, being lowly not only in words but in your bearing toward all, whether friend or former friend, without quick anger or bitterness.

You were wise to tell him you would no longer reach out so as not to disturb him, especially as he faces health problems, and it is right to keep that boundary now. When someone has blocked contact and stopped responding, that boundary should be respected. You also mention looking back and seeing signs that he was emotionally and psychologically abusive. If that is so, then the distance is not only a matter of obedience but also of protection. It is for your good and for his that you do not pursue further contact. Do not insult him in your heart or with others, and do not seek to rekindle what was not built on the foundation of faith in Christ. To suffer a wrong patiently and to speak no ungenerous word is the way of freedom in Christ, and it keeps your own tongue and mind clean.

In your loneliness, turn now to the Lord rather than to another relationship that would pull you away from Him. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and marriage as God has ordained it is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, with intimacy and living together belonging only within that covenant. Any relationship outside that pattern cannot be blessed, however strong the feelings of companionship may be. Ask the Lord to help you to be content in Him, to be rooted in His word, and to seek fellowship and counsel in the church so that loneliness does not again lead you into disobedience.

I will pray as you asked.

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, I ask for Your mercy on this sister and on this man and his loved ones. Grant him salvation if he does not know You, and draw him to true repentance and faith in Christ alone. Bring healing for his body and mind and spirit according to Your will, and watch over those close to him. For Your daughter, grant comfort in her grief, strength to keep the good boundary she has set, and healing from any harm she experienced. Give her a renewed and contrite heart that trembles at Your word, cleanse her from worldly desires, and make her roots go deep in Christ. Teach her lowliness, meekness and patience, and fill her loneliness with Your presence and with godly community. Guard her from returning to what was not of You, and guide her steps in wisdom and purity for the days ahead. Amen.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing so honestly about what has happened. Your willingness to call this relationship what it was, unequally yoked and outside of God's will from the beginning, and to own the loneliness and fleshly disobedience that led you into it, is a sign of God's grace already at work in you. To end it was the right and obedient step, even though it is painful.

What you are feeling now makes sense. Part of you knows you do not want to return to a relationship that showed signs of being emotionally and psychologically abusive, and part of you still grieves the history you shared and the friendship you thought you had. That tension does not mean you made the wrong decision. It means you are human and you need healing.

Scripture shows us that the most important relationship in your life is your vertical relationship with God. That is the center upon which everything else turns. When that relationship is not right, every other relationship becomes out of balance. When that relationship is made right, the other relationships begin to find their proper place. Loneliness can tempt us to try to fix a horizontal relationship while the vertical one is still unsettled, but no person can carry the weight that only God is meant to carry. God invites you not into a formal, legal arrangement where you are constantly measuring guilt and trying to earn standing, but into a close, loving relationship as a Father with His child. Jesus taught us to pray, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, because He wants you to know Him intimately and to know how deeply He loves you.

You do not need to live under a burden of ritual or shame for what has happened. Sin does separate us from God, and it was right to turn from it, but your standing before God is not made right by your own efforts. Jesus has made you righteous before God. When you live in that new loving relationship with Him, the fruit of obedience grows as a natural result of being close to Him, not as a struggle to keep rules. He does not want a half hearted or divided heart. He wants your whole heart, and He is able to deal graciously with a cold heart that turns to Him, far more than with a lukewarm heart that tries to hold onto both.

The silence and the blocking you describe is painful, and it is also a clear boundary. Since you told him you would no longer reach out so as not to disturb him, especially while he is dealing with health problems, it is wise and loving to keep that boundary. It protects you from reentering a harmful pattern and it respects the distance he has chosen. God can use even this painful quiet to bring healing and clarity. You do not need to chase a response to have closure. You can bring your grief and your questions directly to your Father who sees and cares.

I am praying for you, that the Lord would heal your heart, comfort your loneliness, and draw you into a deeper, more personal walk with Jesus where you experience His love and presence daily. As you keep your relationship with Him as the first priority, He will bring the rest of your life into balance in His time and way.

I am also praying as you asked for this young man and for his loved ones, for his physical health, for his mental and spiritual health, and above all for his salvation through Jesus Christ alone. I pray that God would bring him to true repentance and faith, and that whatever His will is for each of you going forward, it would be worked out in a way that honors Him and brings genuine wholeness. If God in His wisdom means for you never to speak again, may He give you peace to accept that as His protection and provision.

Keep staying close to the Lord in His Word and in prayer, and lean on healthy fellowship with other believers who can support you. He is faithful to complete the good work He has begun in you and to make your relationship with Him the source of strength for every other part of your life.

 

[hostadmin]

We thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf and for allowing us to stand in agreement with you in prayer. We were deeply moved by your honest sharing about your recent breakup and your recognition that the relationship was unequally yoked and outside the will of God. We admire your humility in confessing that loneliness and disobedience led you into it and we have been praying for you with compassion.

We have continued to lift you up as you walk through the aftermath of the silence and the blocking on social media and the pain of no longer hearing from ### after more than a week. We have prayed for your healing from the grief of losing not only a boyfriend but someone you thought was a friend and for God's comfort as you process the signs of emotional and psychological harm that you now see more clearly. We have also stood in agreement with your request for his salvation and for his overall health mentally physically and spiritually and for the wellbeing of his loved ones especially as he faces health problems.

We remember the promise in Psalm 34:18 that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and in Psalm 147:3 that He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. We also cling to 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us and to 2 Cor 6:14 which reminds us not to be unequally yoked. Your willingness to step away even when it hurts is a step of obedience and we pray God will strengthen you in it and guard your heart from loneliness and temptation.

If your request was answered and God has given you peace or closure or has confirmed that this separation is for your protection and for the best please post a praise report and let us all know so we can rejoice with you. If your request does not seem to have been answered and you are still wrestling with sorrow or wondering about never speaking to him again or feeling the pull of loneliness please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer.

We pray that God will fill the lonely places in your heart with His presence and help you to seek Him more deeply through His Son Jesus Christ and to trust His perfect will for your future. We ask for healing and wholeness for you and for mercy and salvation for your ex boyfriend. We pray all of this in Jesus' Name Amen. May God bless you as you continue to seek Him through His Son Jesus Christ.