I recently broke up with an ex-boyfriend because we are very unequally yoked and the relationship never should have begun in the first place - I knew from the beginning it was outside of God's will but I was lonely and being disobedient and fleshly and became involved with him. In the aftermath of the breakup and due to certain factors, this ex-boyfriend blocked me on certain social media and stopped responding to any of my messages (he would read them but not respond). I eventually sent him a message saying I would no longer be reaching out so I would stop disturbing him especially amid health problems he's having. It has now been over a week since the last time he spoke to me and although for certain reasons, I really don't want to speak to him either (looking back, there were signs that he was emotionally and psychologically abusive), I also can't believe that he is never going to speak to me again after everything we have been through together and after we were friends before dating (at least, I thought we were friends). Please pray for me about all this. It may be for the best that we never speak again but still...Pray for his salvation and overall health (mentally, physically, spiritually) and that of his loved ones. Thank you.
Ex-boyfriend
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We thank you for sharing this so honestly and humbly with us, and we join with you in seeking the Lord's will together in Jesus' name. We hear your sorrow and confusion in this aftermath, and we also commend you for recognizing that this relationship was unequally yoked and outside of God's will from the beginning. That honesty takes courage and is the first step toward healing.
The Lord is clear about this principle, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. When we as believers enter into courtship, which should always be with the goal of discerning marriage to another Christian believer, we are to look for a spouse who loves Christ first. Marriage itself is a lifelong covenant ordained by God between a man and a woman, and any courtship should honor that design. You recognized that loneliness and fleshly desires led you into disobedience, and we gently rebuke that disobedience while also reminding you of God's abundant grace when we confess it. If you confess your sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9. If there was sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, the Lord calls that fornication and calls us to flee from it, Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18, and Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Hebrews 13:4. We encourage you to bring any such sin specifically before the Lord in repentance, receive His forgiveness, and commit to purity going forward.
We also notice you mentioned signs that he was emotionally and psychologically abusive. That is serious, and we want to affirm that it may indeed be for your best that you never speak again. The Lord does not call us to remain in harmful or abusive dynamics, and sometimes what feels like rejection is actually God's protection. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3. The pain you feel now, that disbelief that someone who was once a friend and companion would go completely silent, is real. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18. That silence and being blocked, while painful, may be the boundary the Lord is using to keep you from being drawn back into an unhealthy and unequally yoked bond. Your decision to tell him you would no longer reach out so as not to disturb him was wise and respectful, and we encourage you to maintain that healthy boundary and not reopen contact.
Your loneliness that led you into this relationship is something many of us have felt, but God wants to fill that place Himself and through godly community as you wait on Him. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6. We encourage you to press into fellowship with other believers, prayer, and the Word, and to trust that God has good plans for you, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11, and that He is working even this painful breakup for your good as you love Him, We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28.
We also want to gently point out that your request mentions God but does not mention Jesus Christ. We want to remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and it is only by His name that we are saved. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved! Acts 4:12. If you have not already, place your full trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, believing He died for your sins and rose again, and you will have forgiveness and eternal life.
We now pray together for you and for him.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You with our sister. We thank You for her repentant heart and her honesty before You. We ask You to forgive her for the disobedience of entering an unequally yoked relationship and for any sexual immorality, and cleanse her completely by the blood of Jesus. Heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds. Comfort her in this loneliness and fill her with Your presence and peace. Give her wisdom to keep healthy boundaries, to not reach out again, and to find her identity and companionship in You. Renew her mind and make her a new creation in Christ where old things have passed away. 2 Corinthians 5:17. Guide her future courtship, if it be Your will, to a godly man who loves You and will lead her toward a marriage that honors You.
We also lift up this ex-boyfriend to You. We pray for his salvation, that he would come to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. We pray for his overall health, mentally, physically, and spiritually, and for his loved ones as well. Touch his body where there is illness, bring healing according to Your will, and open his eyes to Your truth. We pray You would protect our sister from any further harm and give her discernment and peace about never speaking again if that is Your protection.
Give her strength to wait on You and to trust Your perfect will. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.
The Lord is clear about this principle, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. When we as believers enter into courtship, which should always be with the goal of discerning marriage to another Christian believer, we are to look for a spouse who loves Christ first. Marriage itself is a lifelong covenant ordained by God between a man and a woman, and any courtship should honor that design. You recognized that loneliness and fleshly desires led you into disobedience, and we gently rebuke that disobedience while also reminding you of God's abundant grace when we confess it. If you confess your sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9. If there was sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, the Lord calls that fornication and calls us to flee from it, Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18, and Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Hebrews 13:4. We encourage you to bring any such sin specifically before the Lord in repentance, receive His forgiveness, and commit to purity going forward.
We also notice you mentioned signs that he was emotionally and psychologically abusive. That is serious, and we want to affirm that it may indeed be for your best that you never speak again. The Lord does not call us to remain in harmful or abusive dynamics, and sometimes what feels like rejection is actually God's protection. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3. The pain you feel now, that disbelief that someone who was once a friend and companion would go completely silent, is real. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18. That silence and being blocked, while painful, may be the boundary the Lord is using to keep you from being drawn back into an unhealthy and unequally yoked bond. Your decision to tell him you would no longer reach out so as not to disturb him was wise and respectful, and we encourage you to maintain that healthy boundary and not reopen contact.
Your loneliness that led you into this relationship is something many of us have felt, but God wants to fill that place Himself and through godly community as you wait on Him. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6. We encourage you to press into fellowship with other believers, prayer, and the Word, and to trust that God has good plans for you, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11, and that He is working even this painful breakup for your good as you love Him, We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28.
We also want to gently point out that your request mentions God but does not mention Jesus Christ. We want to remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and it is only by His name that we are saved. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved! Acts 4:12. If you have not already, place your full trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, believing He died for your sins and rose again, and you will have forgiveness and eternal life.
We now pray together for you and for him.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You with our sister. We thank You for her repentant heart and her honesty before You. We ask You to forgive her for the disobedience of entering an unequally yoked relationship and for any sexual immorality, and cleanse her completely by the blood of Jesus. Heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds. Comfort her in this loneliness and fill her with Your presence and peace. Give her wisdom to keep healthy boundaries, to not reach out again, and to find her identity and companionship in You. Renew her mind and make her a new creation in Christ where old things have passed away. 2 Corinthians 5:17. Guide her future courtship, if it be Your will, to a godly man who loves You and will lead her toward a marriage that honors You.
We also lift up this ex-boyfriend to You. We pray for his salvation, that he would come to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. We pray for his overall health, mentally, physically, and spiritually, and for his loved ones as well. Touch his body where there is illness, bring healing according to Your will, and open his eyes to Your truth. We pray You would protect our sister from any further harm and give her discernment and peace about never speaking again if that is Your protection.
Give her strength to wait on You and to trust Your perfect will. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.
We hear how tender and confusing this place is for you. You knew ending this relationship was right, and at the same time you are grieving both the relationship and the friendship you thought you had. It makes sense that his silence now feels disorienting and painful, even when part of you knows distance may be healthiest.
You showed courage in being honest about why it needed to end, and in telling him you would stop reaching out so you would not disturb him. That kind of clear line is a way we guard our hearts and take responsibility for our own wellbeing. It protects freedom on both sides, and it can be especially important when you have noticed patterns that felt emotionally harmful in the past. Keeping that boundary steady now, even when the quiet is hard, gives grief space to do its work without reopening hurt.
In this in-between time it helps to not walk it alone. Consider letting one or two trusted people, perhaps a pastor or a mature friend, know how you are doing week to week, and asking them to help you keep that no-contact commitment and to check in when loneliness feels heavy. If you find yourself tempted to check his social media, having something else to turn to in that moment, like reaching out to community or spending time in worship with other believers, can gently redirect your heart.
Father, we lift this dear sister to You and ask for Your comfort over her grief and loneliness. Heal what has been wounded, give her wisdom and steady peace as she keeps healthy boundaries, and draw her close to supportive community. We also bring her ex-boyfriend and his loved ones before You, asking for Your mercy for his salvation and for Your care over his health in body, mind and spirit. Lead them both according to Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.
You showed courage in being honest about why it needed to end, and in telling him you would stop reaching out so you would not disturb him. That kind of clear line is a way we guard our hearts and take responsibility for our own wellbeing. It protects freedom on both sides, and it can be especially important when you have noticed patterns that felt emotionally harmful in the past. Keeping that boundary steady now, even when the quiet is hard, gives grief space to do its work without reopening hurt.
In this in-between time it helps to not walk it alone. Consider letting one or two trusted people, perhaps a pastor or a mature friend, know how you are doing week to week, and asking them to help you keep that no-contact commitment and to check in when loneliness feels heavy. If you find yourself tempted to check his social media, having something else to turn to in that moment, like reaching out to community or spending time in worship with other believers, can gently redirect your heart.
Father, we lift this dear sister to You and ask for Your comfort over her grief and loneliness. Heal what has been wounded, give her wisdom and steady peace as she keeps healthy boundaries, and draw her close to supportive community. We also bring her ex-boyfriend and his loved ones before You, asking for Your mercy for his salvation and for Your care over his health in body, mind and spirit. Lead them both according to Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.
wingsonprayers
Servant of All
Praying in the precious name of Jesus. Amen
Alisha Kirshman
Servant of All
Praying for this request in Jesus Name.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your honest confession has been received with much prayer and careful thought, and I thank you for speaking so plainly about both your loneliness and your disobedience. To see that you were unequally yoked and to own that the relationship never should have begun is a mark of grace at work in you. Scripture says, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, and you have felt the truth of that word. Many think the yoke of Christ is hard when it forbids such a union, but the yoke of an unequal fellowship proves far harder in the end, and to come out from it, though it costs a first loss, saves from greater losses after.
You speak of loneliness and of the ache that he will speak to you no more, even though you do not desire to speak to him. This sorrow is not strange to our Lord. When He came to His agony in the garden, though He took His friends with Him, He was left alone, alone just when as Man He most pined for human sympathy. He knows what it is to be forsaken and watched from afar off, and to be denied the comfort of a near friend. There are seasons when the Christian is called into a measure of that same loneliness, and into deep soul conflict where faith must fight for its existence. In that place, coarse hearts may scorn fellowship, but tender hearts feel the wound deeply. Bring that wound to Him who was alone for you, for He is able to sympathize and to sustain.
There is healing for such wounds, and pardon with it. The leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ has healing virtue in it. His blood pardons and His grace heals, and the two are placed in happy conjunction. When Jesus healed the sick of the palsy He said, Son, be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee, and pardon and healing were one. You have confessed that you were led by loneliness and fleshly desire outside of God's will. Take that confession to Christ at once and ask to be forgiven, and healing will come from the pardoning hand. He binds up the brokenhearted and His salvation changes the very life blood and makes the nature other than it was before. You value not the wound but the Physician, and God alone must do the work of justification and of healing, apart from any mere instrumentality.
It is wise and right that you told him you would no longer reach out so as not to disturb him, especially amid his health troubles, and you should keep to that quiet resolve. The silence of one who reads messages and does not answer, and who blocks the way of contact, is painful after much has been shared and after friendship before, yet it may be a mercy. You have discerned signs of that which was emotionally and psychologically abusive, and the Lord who sees all would not have you yoked to what would bruise and poison the soul. Many a sick man's nature craves what would be his poison, and the Lord Jesus denies to those who take His yoke nothing but that which would be injurious to them. To be left alone for a season, though it stings, may be the Lord's hedge about you to keep you from further harm and to teach you the easy yoke and light burden of Christ. The yoke of Christ is not the heavy yoke of an unequal union, but to learn His meekness and to walk in His way, and he who learns the knack of carrying it finds rest.
We will pray as you have asked, but we will not ask God to bless or to restore what He has forbidden. We will pray for what is according to His will.
May the Lord grant you full forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ, who alone is salvation, and heal your wounded spirit with His healing leaves. May He fill your loneliness with His own presence and with the fellowship of His people, so that you are not driven again to seek comfort where comfort cannot rightly be found. May He keep you in purity, reserving the gift of intimacy and the covenant of dwelling together for marriage alone, which is the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and may He give you strength to walk therein by His grace.
We pray also for this man, that God would have mercy upon him. We ask that the Lord would save his soul through faith in Jesus Christ, and heal him mentally, physically and spiritually according to His perfect will, and that He would show mercy to his loved ones also. We leave him in the hands of the heavenly Physician, whose work is not so much to use the lancet as to apply the balm of Calvary, and whose teaching brings healing with it.
Wait upon the Lord, give yourself to His Word and to the company of the saints, and let time and grace do their healing work. He who healed you will keep you, and He will perfect that healing till you are without spot or wrinkle.
You speak of loneliness and of the ache that he will speak to you no more, even though you do not desire to speak to him. This sorrow is not strange to our Lord. When He came to His agony in the garden, though He took His friends with Him, He was left alone, alone just when as Man He most pined for human sympathy. He knows what it is to be forsaken and watched from afar off, and to be denied the comfort of a near friend. There are seasons when the Christian is called into a measure of that same loneliness, and into deep soul conflict where faith must fight for its existence. In that place, coarse hearts may scorn fellowship, but tender hearts feel the wound deeply. Bring that wound to Him who was alone for you, for He is able to sympathize and to sustain.
There is healing for such wounds, and pardon with it. The leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ has healing virtue in it. His blood pardons and His grace heals, and the two are placed in happy conjunction. When Jesus healed the sick of the palsy He said, Son, be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee, and pardon and healing were one. You have confessed that you were led by loneliness and fleshly desire outside of God's will. Take that confession to Christ at once and ask to be forgiven, and healing will come from the pardoning hand. He binds up the brokenhearted and His salvation changes the very life blood and makes the nature other than it was before. You value not the wound but the Physician, and God alone must do the work of justification and of healing, apart from any mere instrumentality.
It is wise and right that you told him you would no longer reach out so as not to disturb him, especially amid his health troubles, and you should keep to that quiet resolve. The silence of one who reads messages and does not answer, and who blocks the way of contact, is painful after much has been shared and after friendship before, yet it may be a mercy. You have discerned signs of that which was emotionally and psychologically abusive, and the Lord who sees all would not have you yoked to what would bruise and poison the soul. Many a sick man's nature craves what would be his poison, and the Lord Jesus denies to those who take His yoke nothing but that which would be injurious to them. To be left alone for a season, though it stings, may be the Lord's hedge about you to keep you from further harm and to teach you the easy yoke and light burden of Christ. The yoke of Christ is not the heavy yoke of an unequal union, but to learn His meekness and to walk in His way, and he who learns the knack of carrying it finds rest.
We will pray as you have asked, but we will not ask God to bless or to restore what He has forbidden. We will pray for what is according to His will.
May the Lord grant you full forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ, who alone is salvation, and heal your wounded spirit with His healing leaves. May He fill your loneliness with His own presence and with the fellowship of His people, so that you are not driven again to seek comfort where comfort cannot rightly be found. May He keep you in purity, reserving the gift of intimacy and the covenant of dwelling together for marriage alone, which is the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and may He give you strength to walk therein by His grace.
We pray also for this man, that God would have mercy upon him. We ask that the Lord would save his soul through faith in Jesus Christ, and heal him mentally, physically and spiritually according to His perfect will, and that He would show mercy to his loved ones also. We leave him in the hands of the heavenly Physician, whose work is not so much to use the lancet as to apply the balm of Calvary, and whose teaching brings healing with it.
Wait upon the Lord, give yourself to His Word and to the company of the saints, and let time and grace do their healing work. He who healed you will keep you, and He will perfect that healing till you are without spot or wrinkle.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
I prayed for this in Jesus Name.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
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