I recently broke up with an ex boyfriend due to us being unequally yoked and him not being a Christian. Obviously, I am praying for his salvation but there is also a part of me that feels kind of in denial that we may not be meant for each other that is praying that he could come to faith in Christ and we can be together as well. Please pray for me about all this. I am currently about to have my cycle and I have a condition that makes my cycles worse emotionally and physically - I think it's affecting my emotions with all this right now because I started randomly missing my ex boyfriend so much this past week or so. Please pray about all this. Thank you.
Ex-boyfriend
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We thank you for sharing your heart so honestly with us and we commend you for obeying the Lord in ending a relationship that was unequally yoked. That is a painful and courageous step of obedience and it honors God. The Scripture is clear when it says, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. We affirm that you did what is right before the Lord, even though it brings grief and longing, and we want to walk with you through this season of surrender and healing.
We also hear the tension in your heart as you pray for his salvation while still hoping that his salvation would mean you can be together again. We understand that longing, and we gently encourage you to examine that motive before the Lord. God desires that all should come to repentance, as it says The Lord is not slow concerning his promise, as some count slowness, but is patient with us, not wishing that anyone should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9, and we should absolutely pray for the salvation of those who do not know Christ. Yet salvation is not given to fulfill our romantic hopes, but to bring glory to God and to reconcile a sinner to Himself through Jesus. We must pray for your ex-boyfriend with a pure desire for his soul to be saved for eternity, whether or not God ever brings your paths together again in marriage. To pray with the hidden agenda that God must save him so you can have him back can keep you in denial and prevent you from fully surrendering your future to God's will. We encourage you to release him into God's hands and to trust that if God does save him, that evidence must be seen in genuine repentance and fruit over a long season, not an immediate return to courtship. Our goal in any courtship should always be to seek a godly spouse for a lifelong marriage between a man and a woman that honors Christ, and we only enter that courtship with a fellow believer who loves the Lord.
We also want to address with grace that any courtship that moves outside God's design for purity needs confession and healing. If there was any sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, the Lord calls us to flee sexual immorality and to pursue purity, for Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 and For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality. 1 Thessalonians 4:3. If this is part of your story, we encourage you to confess it openly to God, receive His forgiveness through Jesus, and walk forward in wholeness. God is merciful and restores those who repent.
We see your struggle with your cycle and the condition that makes your emotions and physical pain more intense, and we have compassion for you. The Lord knows your body, He created you, and He sees your suffering. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3. It is understandable that hormonal changes would heighten feelings of missing your ex-boyfriend and make the grief feel heavier this past week. Your emotions are real, but they are not our guide. Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23. We encourage you to lean into the Lord, into fellowship with godly women, into prayer and the Word, rather than isolating with these thoughts. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6.
We do rejoice that you spoke of coming to faith in Christ, for there is no other way to the Father. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. It is only through Jesus that your prayers are heard and that either you or your ex-boyfriend can be saved.
We pray together for you now. Father, we lift this dear sister to You in the name of Jesus. We thank You for her obedience and for her tender heart that desires to honor You. We ask that You heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds, that You give her peace that surpasses all understanding as she brings her anxieties to You in prayer. Philippians 4:6-7. Lord, we ask for physical relief and emotional steadiness during her cycle, lay Your healing hand upon her body and comfort her in her pain. We pray for her ex-boyfriend, that You would have mercy on him and draw him to salvation through faith in Jesus Christ alone, not for the sake of a relationship, but for Your glory and his eternal good. Help her to surrender her hopes for marriage to You, to trust that You know the plans You have for her, plans for peace and not for evil, to give her hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11. Guard her heart from returning to what is not of You, give her wisdom and strength to wait on Your perfect timing, and prepare her, if it is Your will, for a godly marriage to a believing husband who will love You first. Let all things work together for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. Romans 8:28. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior. Amen.
We also hear the tension in your heart as you pray for his salvation while still hoping that his salvation would mean you can be together again. We understand that longing, and we gently encourage you to examine that motive before the Lord. God desires that all should come to repentance, as it says The Lord is not slow concerning his promise, as some count slowness, but is patient with us, not wishing that anyone should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9, and we should absolutely pray for the salvation of those who do not know Christ. Yet salvation is not given to fulfill our romantic hopes, but to bring glory to God and to reconcile a sinner to Himself through Jesus. We must pray for your ex-boyfriend with a pure desire for his soul to be saved for eternity, whether or not God ever brings your paths together again in marriage. To pray with the hidden agenda that God must save him so you can have him back can keep you in denial and prevent you from fully surrendering your future to God's will. We encourage you to release him into God's hands and to trust that if God does save him, that evidence must be seen in genuine repentance and fruit over a long season, not an immediate return to courtship. Our goal in any courtship should always be to seek a godly spouse for a lifelong marriage between a man and a woman that honors Christ, and we only enter that courtship with a fellow believer who loves the Lord.
We also want to address with grace that any courtship that moves outside God's design for purity needs confession and healing. If there was any sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, the Lord calls us to flee sexual immorality and to pursue purity, for Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 and For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality. 1 Thessalonians 4:3. If this is part of your story, we encourage you to confess it openly to God, receive His forgiveness through Jesus, and walk forward in wholeness. God is merciful and restores those who repent.
We see your struggle with your cycle and the condition that makes your emotions and physical pain more intense, and we have compassion for you. The Lord knows your body, He created you, and He sees your suffering. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3. It is understandable that hormonal changes would heighten feelings of missing your ex-boyfriend and make the grief feel heavier this past week. Your emotions are real, but they are not our guide. Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23. We encourage you to lean into the Lord, into fellowship with godly women, into prayer and the Word, rather than isolating with these thoughts. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6.
We do rejoice that you spoke of coming to faith in Christ, for there is no other way to the Father. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. It is only through Jesus that your prayers are heard and that either you or your ex-boyfriend can be saved.
We pray together for you now. Father, we lift this dear sister to You in the name of Jesus. We thank You for her obedience and for her tender heart that desires to honor You. We ask that You heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds, that You give her peace that surpasses all understanding as she brings her anxieties to You in prayer. Philippians 4:6-7. Lord, we ask for physical relief and emotional steadiness during her cycle, lay Your healing hand upon her body and comfort her in her pain. We pray for her ex-boyfriend, that You would have mercy on him and draw him to salvation through faith in Jesus Christ alone, not for the sake of a relationship, but for Your glory and his eternal good. Help her to surrender her hopes for marriage to You, to trust that You know the plans You have for her, plans for peace and not for evil, to give her hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11. Guard her heart from returning to what is not of You, give her wisdom and strength to wait on Your perfect timing, and prepare her, if it is Your will, for a godly marriage to a believing husband who will love You first. Let all things work together for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. Romans 8:28. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior. Amen.
We hear how heavy this past week has felt, missing him so much right after making a difficult and faithful decision to step away. That ache doesn't mean you made the wrong choice, it just means the loss is real and still fresh.
It makes sense that this feels even more intense right now. When your body is in that pre-cycle window, especially with a condition that makes those days harder physically and emotionally, everything can feel louder and more overwhelming. The sadness and longing you are feeling in these days are not necessarily a clearer picture of what is best long term, they are part of what your body and heart are carrying right now.
We admire your heart for his salvation, and we are joining you in praying for him to come to know Jesus for his own sake. At the same time we are praying for you for steadiness and wisdom as you grieve, so you can keep seeking what God has for you without feeling pulled back and forth.
One thing that has helped others in this tender in-between time is having a plan for those waves of missing him, perhaps texting a trusted Christian friend or mentor instead of reaching out to him, and giving yourself some extra rest and care this week. And since you mentioned your cycles are especially difficult, we encourage you to keep talking with your doctor about that alongside prayer.
Father, we lift our sister to You and ask for Your comfort and clarity over her in these days. Guard her heart and body, ease what is painful, and draw her close to You. We pray also for her ex-boyfriend, that he would come to know You truly. Lead her step by step in Your will and give her peace as she trusts You. In Jesus' name, amen.
It makes sense that this feels even more intense right now. When your body is in that pre-cycle window, especially with a condition that makes those days harder physically and emotionally, everything can feel louder and more overwhelming. The sadness and longing you are feeling in these days are not necessarily a clearer picture of what is best long term, they are part of what your body and heart are carrying right now.
We admire your heart for his salvation, and we are joining you in praying for him to come to know Jesus for his own sake. At the same time we are praying for you for steadiness and wisdom as you grieve, so you can keep seeking what God has for you without feeling pulled back and forth.
One thing that has helped others in this tender in-between time is having a plan for those waves of missing him, perhaps texting a trusted Christian friend or mentor instead of reaching out to him, and giving yourself some extra rest and care this week. And since you mentioned your cycles are especially difficult, we encourage you to keep talking with your doctor about that alongside prayer.
Father, we lift our sister to You and ask for Your comfort and clarity over her in these days. Guard her heart and body, ease what is painful, and draw her close to You. We pray also for her ex-boyfriend, that he would come to know You truly. Lead her step by step in Your will and give her peace as she trusts You. In Jesus' name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your obedience in stepping away from an unequal yoke is itself a mercy from the Lord, though it has cost you sorrow. The precept is plain, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, and you thought that yoke of Christ hard when first you heard it, yet you have now taken it up. It will go well with you when you make a full capitulation, an unconditional surrender to your Father's good pleasure. Fling wide the gates of the city of Mansoul and admit Prince Emanuel to rule as sole sovereign in every street therein.
We hear the conflict in your own heart. You rightly pray for his salvation, for there is no other name under heaven whereby he must be saved but the name of Jesus Christ alone. Yet there is also another longing that would use his salvation as a way to regain what you have surrendered. Take heed that you do not surrender yourself upon conditions, nor dictate to God His method of operating upon you. As a true child can you make a complete surrender to your Father's good pleasure? If not, you have not fairly learned the mind of Christ. What God intends to give us He first sets us longing for, and holy longing will breathe itself in prayer, but let your chief longing be that which the Psalmist knew, I opened my mouth and panted for I longed for Thy commandments. Long ardently after holiness before you long for any earthly companionship. Let your whole soul be possessed by that one earnest longing to find God Himself, and to be conformed to His will, whether that will should in His providence restore this man to you as a brother in Christ or lead you in another path entirely. A profession of faith that is sought only to secure a relationship is no true conversion at all.
We do not despise the heaviness you feel in body and spirit. There are several forms of a broken heart, and the Lord knows that bodily infirmity and the monthly burden you bear do press upon the spirits and make the nature feel other than it was before. You value not fancies but a real healing from His hand. Know then that there is an abundance of healing power in Jesus Christ and His salvation. Not only is His fruit sweet and nourishing, but the very leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. The least thing about Christ is healing. These healing leaves change the lifeblood and make the soul fresh again. When Jesus healed the sick of the palsy He said, Son, be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee, for pardon and healing are one in His hand. He heals the broken heart and binds up its wounds.
We will pray for you after this manner.
O Lord our God, we thank Thee for grace given to this Thy daughter to obey Thy Word though it wounded her affections. Keep her in that obedience and teach her unconditional surrender to Thy sovereign will. Create in her a vehement longing after Thyself and after Thy holy commandments, that she may desire Thy will above all earthly hopes. In her bodily trial and in these days of heightened sorrow, spread Thy healing leaves over her. Heal her broken heart, calm her spirits, and give her rest in Thy pardoning love through Jesus Christ. We ask also for this man who knows Thee not yet, that Thou wouldst have mercy upon him and bring him to true repentance and faith in Christ alone, not for the sake of any human bond but for the glory of Thy Son and the salvation of his soul. Let Thy will be done in both their lives, and grant to her contentment to follow Thee whithersoever Thou leadest, looking for that perfect healing which Thou wilt give to body and soul in Thine own time. Amen.
We hear the conflict in your own heart. You rightly pray for his salvation, for there is no other name under heaven whereby he must be saved but the name of Jesus Christ alone. Yet there is also another longing that would use his salvation as a way to regain what you have surrendered. Take heed that you do not surrender yourself upon conditions, nor dictate to God His method of operating upon you. As a true child can you make a complete surrender to your Father's good pleasure? If not, you have not fairly learned the mind of Christ. What God intends to give us He first sets us longing for, and holy longing will breathe itself in prayer, but let your chief longing be that which the Psalmist knew, I opened my mouth and panted for I longed for Thy commandments. Long ardently after holiness before you long for any earthly companionship. Let your whole soul be possessed by that one earnest longing to find God Himself, and to be conformed to His will, whether that will should in His providence restore this man to you as a brother in Christ or lead you in another path entirely. A profession of faith that is sought only to secure a relationship is no true conversion at all.
We do not despise the heaviness you feel in body and spirit. There are several forms of a broken heart, and the Lord knows that bodily infirmity and the monthly burden you bear do press upon the spirits and make the nature feel other than it was before. You value not fancies but a real healing from His hand. Know then that there is an abundance of healing power in Jesus Christ and His salvation. Not only is His fruit sweet and nourishing, but the very leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. The least thing about Christ is healing. These healing leaves change the lifeblood and make the soul fresh again. When Jesus healed the sick of the palsy He said, Son, be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee, for pardon and healing are one in His hand. He heals the broken heart and binds up its wounds.
We will pray for you after this manner.
O Lord our God, we thank Thee for grace given to this Thy daughter to obey Thy Word though it wounded her affections. Keep her in that obedience and teach her unconditional surrender to Thy sovereign will. Create in her a vehement longing after Thyself and after Thy holy commandments, that she may desire Thy will above all earthly hopes. In her bodily trial and in these days of heightened sorrow, spread Thy healing leaves over her. Heal her broken heart, calm her spirits, and give her rest in Thy pardoning love through Jesus Christ. We ask also for this man who knows Thee not yet, that Thou wouldst have mercy upon him and bring him to true repentance and faith in Christ alone, not for the sake of any human bond but for the glory of Thy Son and the salvation of his soul. Let Thy will be done in both their lives, and grant to her contentment to follow Thee whithersoever Thou leadest, looking for that perfect healing which Thou wilt give to body and soul in Thine own time. Amen.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying for this request in Jesus Name.
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