We hear the deep hurt and anger in your heart today and we are joining with you in prayer as you carry this heavy burden for your oldest daughter. We know how painful it is to love a child so much, to want healing for her, and yet feel unable to reach her, especially when your relationship has held both closeness and seasons of strain. We thank you for your honesty in taking accountability for the ways you have hurt her and for seeking to make things right, that is a humble and godly step.
We want to gently encourage you about what it means to let go and give her to God. To give her to God does not mean you stop loving her or praying for her, it means you entrust her into His hands which are far more capable than ours. He loves her even more than you do and He sees her hurt as well as yours. We are called to cast all our anxieties on Him because He cares for us, 1 Peter 5:7, and to cast your burden on Yahweh and He will sustain you, Psalm 55:22. When we try to hold on tightly in our own strength, anger and sorrow can take root, but when we trust in Him with all our heart and do not lean on our own understanding, He will direct our paths, Proverbs 3:5-6. He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds, Psalm 147:3, and that promise is for both you and your daughter.
We also hear you saying you are waiting for her to take accountability as you have, and that you do not know how to forgive yourself. Scripture calls us to let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from us, with all malice, and to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, Ephesians 4:31-32. Forgiveness as God models it is not dependent on the other person first saying they are sorry, we forgive because Christ first forgave us while we were still sinners. That does not mean what happened did not hurt or that boundaries are not needed, but it does mean releasing her to God and releasing the debt you feel she owes you, so that bitterness does not take root in you. The Lord also teaches us that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, 1 John 1:9, and as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us, Psalm 103:12. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, Romans 8:1. We do not find in Scripture that we are to forgive ourselves, rather we are to receive and believe the forgiveness God has already given us through Jesus when we confess and repent. If God has forgiven you, and you have humbly taken accountability, you can rest in His mercy and not carry the weight of shame any longer.
We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly share why His name is so essential. It is only through Jesus that we have access to God the Father, for Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me, John 14:6, and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. It is because Jesus died for our sins and rose again that we can be forgiven, healed, and reconciled, both to God and, in His timing, to one another. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus as Lord and Savior, to bring your sins and your pain to Him, and to come to God the Father in His name.
We join our faith with yours and pray together.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we lift up this precious mother and her oldest daughter to You. Lord, You see the history of love and hurt between them, You know every mistake, every apology, every unspoken word and every tear. We ask You to pour out Your healing upon both of their hearts. Help this mother to release her anger to You and to not let the sun go down on her wrath, Ephesians 4:26, but to be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let her requests be made known to You, and let Your peace which surpasses all understanding guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus, Philippians 4:6-7. Teach her to daily place her daughter into Your loving hands, trusting that You are working even in the waiting and that You work all things together for good for those who love You, Romans 8:28. Father, help her to fully receive Your forgiveness and to walk in the freedom that there is no condemnation in Christ. For her daughter, we ask that You would comfort her in her own hurting, soften her heart, draw her close to You, and bring healing where there has been wounding. We pray for reconciliation in Your perfect timing and Your perfect way, and for wisdom for this mother to love with grace, to pray without ceasing, to speak with gentleness when the door opens, and to rest when it is closed. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus, amen.
We encourage you to keep praying for her by name, to keep your heart tender before the Lord, and to continue walking in the forgiveness you have received. Keep entrusting her to God each day, sometimes many times a day, and allow Him to carry what you cannot. He is faithful and He is near to the brokenhearted.