Thank you for sharing so honestly about what you have been carrying. Taking time away from college because of stress and anxiety is a heavy decision, and it is understandable that you would feel unsettled while you wait and wonder about returning in September. I am glad you have been able to see your psychiatrist and that the change in medication has felt like a release. That desire you expressed to have something meaningful to do during the day, and not just pass the hours watching television and feeling like you are not achieving anything, is itself significant. God has placed in us a longing for purpose.
Scripture speaks a great deal about purpose. One writer in the Old Testament, near the end of his life, looked back on all he had tried under the sun to find meaning in success, pleasure, learning and achievement, and he found that if purpose is limited only to what happens under the sun, it ends in emptiness and frustration. Real purpose is not found in simply staying busy or in measuring our worth by how much we produce. It is found in belonging to God and being set apart for His use.
The New Testament describes our lives as vessels that have been made holy and set apart for the worship and service of God. That means your life has a singular, God given purpose that remains even in a season of rest or recovery. You do not have to earn that purpose by constant activity. Because you belong to Christ, your body and your days belong to Him, and it is reasonable and good to offer them to Him as instruments for His righteousness, to be used for His glory in whatever way He chooses, whether in study, in quiet trust at home, or in small acts of faithfulness each day.
God also reveals that He has an eternal purpose that He accomplished in Christ, and that His purpose will stand. No one can cancel it and no one can turn back His hand. He declares that He will fulfill what He has purposed. That is a steady anchor when our own plans feel uncertain. You do not have to figure out the whole future before September. You can bring that decision to the Lord in prayer, ask for wisdom, seek counsel from those who know you and care for you, and trust that He will guide your steps. The purpose of prayer is not to get God to do what we have already decided, but to align our hearts with what He desires to do.
His Word is part of how He does that. Isaiah says that His Word will not return empty, but will accomplish what He sent it to do. As you let Scripture soak into your life each day, even in small portions read with an open heart, it will do its work. It brings faith, it brings correction and comfort, and it shapes us. If you are able, keep a simple habit of reading and praying, not as another pressure to achieve, but as a way to be nourished and to hear His voice.
We also have the promise that for those who love God and are called according to His purpose, all things work together for good. That does not mean every hard thing feels good in the moment, and often we cannot see what good God is bringing from a difficult season. His work in us is according to an eternal plan, and a central part of that plan is to conform us to the image of Jesus Christ. In times when you do not understand His purpose, you can fall back on what you do know, that He loves you, that He is at work, and that the final result in His hands will be good. Never judge the story of your life until you have read the final chapter. God is often positioning us and preparing us long before we see why.
Watching daytime television and feeling unfulfilled is a common experience in a waiting season, and it makes sense that you would want your days to count. Rather than measuring your days only by visible achievement, consider asking the Lord each morning how He would like to use you that day in small, faithful ways. It might be a short walk, a helpful task at home, time in the Word, a conversation, prayer for others, or preparation for studies at a gentle pace. Running the race of faith is not about sprinting to prove yourself, but about steady perseverance with your eyes on Christ, desiring to be usable by Him wherever you are.
As you think about college, take it one step at a time. Continue with the care your doctor is providing, stay connected with people who support you, keep seeking the Lord, and allow Him to confirm whether returning in September is the right next step, and if so, at what pace. God is not in a hurry to push you beyond what you can bear, and He delights to use even quiet seasons for His purposes.
May the Lord give you peace as you wait on Him, strengthen you day by day, and fill your heart with assurance through His Word. May you know more deeply that you are loved, set apart for Him, and held securely in His eternal purpose, and may He make clear the path ahead as you trust Him.
We are praying for you, that God will guard your mind and heart in Christ, grant you wisdom for the decision about college, and help you find daily purpose in walking closely with Him.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
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