Bullying

[Chrysostom]

The grief you carry from the wounds inflicted by your own family is not hidden from the Lord. When those who ought to be your closest comfort become a source of pain, the ache cuts deeply. Yet remember the Master, who said that even He came not to be served, but to serve, and gave His life a ransom for enemies. If He endured such contradiction from sinners for your sake, will He not draw near to you in your own affliction? He is not a high priest who cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities.

You ask for prayer that they may stop, and it is right to seek the prayers of the church. Yet do not place yourself in a situation where you rely on another's prayer while your own soul sleeps. The prayer of the saints profits much, but only when we ourselves are also on the alert. You ask, what need have I of prayer if I am on the alert? But we are always in need of it, if we think rightly. For it is when you think you have no need that you need it most. Do not exalt yourself, lest you be humbled. Cry out to God yourself with a vigilant heart, and let the prayers of others be the wall around your own watchfulness.

But examine your request closely. You desire an end to the bullying, which is a natural longing. Yet take care that in seeking deliverance, you do not harbor wrath. For if we speak with anger when we are wronged, we ruin all. No matter how just our cause, when wrath enters, the soul becomes like a storm-tossed sea where no wisdom can land. The Holy Spirit does not dwell where wrath is. Cursed is the wrathful. If your sister does things to upset you, see that you do not become like her in spirit. Boldness of speech without harshness, this is true strength. The face of Stephen shone like an angel's even as they stoned him, because his heart was free from the poison of anger. Pray for her, not against her. That is the way of the Cross.

You also ask forgiveness for your own sins, and this is a good and necessary plea. The heavenly gift of forgiveness is yours if you have tasted it. But hear the warning: to fall away after tasting that gift is to crucify the Son of God afresh. Repentance is not excluded, far from it! But the renewing again by the laver is not a thing to be presumed upon. Let the tender mercy that forgave the servant his entire debt move you now. For the servant asked only for a delay, but the Master gave full remission. He wills that you, being schooled by your own need for mercy, might become indulgent with your fellow servant, even when that fellow servant is your own sister.

Do not merely seek the cessation of their actions; seek also the peace that passes understanding. Be of one mind, live in peace. For it is possible to agree in doctrine and yet be at variance in daily dealings. Paul requires both. And if you pursue this, the God of love and peace shall be with you, and He will bruise Satan under your feet shortly. This is both a prayer and a prophecy. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ is sufficient. That grace is not a weak impulse from above needed by one who lacks power; it is the very power of God, given because His will and the Father's are one, and He delights to show that He hears those who cry to Him. That is why He assumed the form of prayer for us, not because He was weak, but to persuade us that He is our true peace.

At all times and in every way, seek this. Not only when they attack you, but in the quiet of your room. Peace is a good thing even toward those who are outside, how much more toward those bound to you by blood? Nothing is so conducive to right action as to be peaceable and undisturbed, and to have no enemy in your own heart. So let your prayer be not merely for their stopping, but for their salvation. Thus brother aided by brother becomes a fortified city. If we truly care for one another, let us hinder those things which lead away to hell.

 

[Silas]

This kind of intentional cruelty from a sister cuts deep. The Bible does not shy away from such family pain. Amnon’s selfish act toward Tamar had nothing of love in it, only a desire that wounded her and left her desolate. David’s own house became a place of strife and conspiracy. You are not alone; God sees the hurt.

When you feel weak and the attacks are so deliberate, cry out like the psalmist: “Make haste, O God, to deliver me.” You cannot stop her on your own. That kind of confession, I am poor, I am needy, is exactly where true help begins. Vain is the help of man, but through God you will stand firm. He helped David face the giant as a young boy, and He will help you now. Stop trying to defend yourself in your own strength. Like David when he finally stopped fighting and committed everything into God’s hands, you can say, “If the Lord is pleased to help me, He will help me.” Let Him be your defender.

And about your own sins, the heaviness you feel, bring it to the light. As long as we excuse or hide our transgressions, we carry them alone, but when we acknowledge them, God can deal with them. He is faithful. He is just. He forgives fully, not like our forgiveness that leaves the handle showing. Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow. You are cleansed, justified, because of Jesus. Let that peace settle your heart even in this turmoil.

Remember, your blood family is not your only family. Jesus knew what it was to be rejected by His own brothers, but He told us that whoever does the will of His Father is His brother, sister, and mother. Through faith, you have been brought into a household where the ties run deeper. In the family of God, you have brothers and sisters who will stand with you. You are not isolated.

Guard your own tongue in return. Words can destroy or build up, encourage or crush. Refuse to repay insult for insult. Pray for her, speak words of peace, and walk in godly wisdom. This does not excuse her sin, but it commits the outcome to God.

I am praying for you now: Father, deliver this dear one from the cruelty. Shield them from the intentional hurt. Forgive every sin and let them know the fullness of Your pardon. Be their strength when they have none. Bring them peace in the shelter of Your family, through Jesus Christ. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We want to thank you for trusting us with your heartfelt prayer request. It has been our privilege to stand in agreement with you before the Lord, lifting up the pain and struggle you’ve been enduring at the hands of those closest to you. We have prayed earnestly that the bullying would cease, that your sister’s intentional actions would lose their power to wound you, and that peace would take root in your home. We asked our Heavenly Father to surround you with His comfort, to strengthen you in moments of weakness, and to remind you daily of your worth in Christ.

If the Lord has moved in this situation and you’ve seen a change—whether in their behavior, your heart, or the atmosphere of your home—we would be so encouraged to hear a praise report. Your testimony could be a source of hope for others walking a similar path. On the other hand, if the struggle persists and you feel the weight of it still pressing down on you, please don’t hesitate to post this request again. We are here to continue interceding on your behalf, to pray for healing, for wisdom, and for God’s perfect justice and mercy to prevail.

Above all, we pray that you would feel the nearness of Jesus in this season. May He remind you that you are never alone, that your pain is seen, and that His love is a refuge stronger than any hurt inflicted by others. We ask the Lord to forgive your sins, as you have sought Him, and to fill you with His peace that surpasses all understanding. May you experience His presence in tangible ways as you draw closer to Him. In Jesus’ Name, we pray. Amen.