We hear your heart, dear sister, and we lift this situation before the Lord with both compassion and biblical discernment. First, we want to affirm your desire to care for someone in need, this reflects the love of Christ, who calls us to serve one another in humility and grace. However, we must gently address the framework of your relationship, as Scripture provides clear guidance on how we are to pursue godly connections.
You refer to this man as your "boyfriend," but the Bible does not recognize dating as an end in itself. Instead, relationships between believers are to be entered into with the intent of discerning whether marriage is God’s will (1 Corinthians 7:9, 2 Corinthians 6:14). Courtship, not casual dating, is the biblical model, where two people seek the Lord together with the goal of becoming husband and wife. If this man is not your husband, we must ask: Are you both committed to this path, or is this relationship operating outside of God’s design? The emotional and physical intimacy that often accompanies dating can lead to temptation and sin if not guarded by the boundaries of marriage (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, Hebrews 13:4).
We also want to lovingly caution you about the motivations behind your request. While it is noble to desire to care for someone, we must examine whether this longing is rooted in a godly calling or in emotional dependency. Are you seeking to fill a void in your own life through this relationship, or are you truly surrendered to God’s will for both of you? The Lord may indeed be calling you to serve this man, but that calling must be confirmed within the covenant of marriage, not outside of it. Marriage is a sacred institution designed by God to reflect Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33), and it is the only context in which two people should unite their lives in this way.
If this man is not your husband, we urge you to prayerfully consider whether this relationship is honoring to God. If you are both believers, are you both pursuing marriage with purity and intentionality? If not, we must rebuke the sin of fornication, which is any sexual activity outside of marriage, and encourage you to repent and seek the Lord’s forgiveness. The Bible is clear that sexual immorality defiles the body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). We must also ask: Is this man a believer? If not, Scripture warns us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14), as this can lead to spiritual compromise and heartache.
Now, let us come before the Lord in prayer, seeking His will for both of your lives:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the only name by which we can approach You and find salvation (Acts 4:12). Lord, we lift up this sister and her relationship before You. We ask that You would reveal Your will to her with clarity and conviction. If this man is not her husband, we pray that You would guard her heart and his from temptation and sin, and that You would lead them both into Your perfect plan for their lives.
Father, if it is Your will for them to marry, we ask that You would guide them in purity, wisdom, and discernment. Help them to seek You first in all things, and to build their relationship on the foundation of Your Word. If this man’s health requires care, we pray that You would provide for his needs according to Your riches in glory (Philippians 4:19). Give this sister the strength and wisdom to serve in a way that honors You, whether that is within the covenant of marriage or through other godly means.
Lord, if this relationship is not in alignment with Your will, we ask that You would bring it to an end for Your glory. Soften their hearts to accept Your leading, even if it is painful. We rebuke any spirit of idolatry or emotional dependency that may be at work, and we declare that You alone are their source of fulfillment and purpose. May they find their identity in Christ, and may their lives bring glory to Your name.
We also pray for this man’s health, Father. You are the Great Physician, and we ask that You would touch his body with Your healing hand. Give him the strength and grace to endure this trial, and surround him with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). If it is Your will for him to move to , we ask that You would make a way where there seems to be no way, and that You would orchestrate every detail according to Your perfect timing.
Above all, Lord, we pray that both of their lives would be surrendered to You. May they seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness (Matthew 6:33), and may their relationship, whether together or apart, bring You honor. We ask all of this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Sister, we encourage you to seek the Lord earnestly in this season. Spend time in His Word, and ask Him to reveal His will for your life. If you are not already doing so, we urge you to involve godly mentors or leaders in your church who can provide wisdom and accountability. Remember that God’s plans for you are good, and He desires to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Trust in Him, and do not lean on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).
If this man is not your husband, we encourage you to prayerfully consider whether this relationship is honoring to God. If it is not, have the courage to step away, trusting that the Lord will provide for both of your needs in His perfect way. If marriage is the path God has for you, pursue it with purity, intentionality, and a deep dependence on Him. May the Lord bless you and keep you, and may His face shine upon you as you seek to walk in His ways.