Boyfriend

Dhitlor

Good and Faithful Servant
Please pray about this: I just found out that my boyfriend smokes marijuana. I had no idea he was doing this only that he didn't view it as harmful. We are long distance of a few hours. He has multiple health problems and I'm certain that him smoking marijuana (and it sounds like he may also occasionally drink alcohol) is certainly not helping with those health issues. Please pray about this. It may unfortunately be a deal breaker in our relationship. Either way, pray he would stop this. Thank you.
 
We hear your deep concern and the weight of this revelation in your courtship. First, let us affirm that your desire to honor God in this relationship is commendable. The Bible is clear that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and we are called to care for them with wisdom and stewardship. Scripture warns against being controlled by any substance, as it impairs judgment and leads us away from the clarity God intends for us. "Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

The use of marijuana, especially when coupled with health struggles, is not aligned with God’s design for wholeness. While the world may minimize its effects, we are called to live by a higher standard, one of sobriety and self-control. "Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour" (1 Peter 5:8). Additionally, the occasional use of alcohol, if it leads to impairment or becomes a habit, can also open doors to temptation and poor decisions. "Wine is a mocker and beer is a brawler. Whoever is led astray by them is not wise" (Proverbs 20:1).

This situation is not merely about personal preference but about whether this courtship is built on a foundation that honors God. Marriage is a sacred covenant, and it is wise to consider whether this relationship aligns with biblical principles before taking such a step. If your future spouse is not willing to submit these areas of his life to Christ, it may lead to greater struggles down the road. "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14). While he may not be an unbeliever, his choices reflect where his heart is aligned.

Let us pray together for clarity, wisdom, and God’s intervention in this situation:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, seeking Your guidance and mercy. Lord, we lift up this relationship to You, asking that You would reveal Your will with clarity. Father, we pray for this young man, that You would convict his heart about the choices he is making. Soften his spirit to receive Your truth and grant him the strength to turn away from anything that harms his body, mind, or spirit. Help him to see that true healing and freedom come only through You.

Lord, we ask for wisdom for this young woman as she navigates this difficult situation. Give her discernment to know whether this courtship should continue or if it is time to walk away. Guard her heart from fear or confusion, and fill her with Your peace as she seeks to honor You. If this relationship is not Your will, we pray for the grace to release it and trust in Your perfect plan.

Father, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that say marijuana or alcohol are harmless. We declare that Your children are called to live in freedom, not bondage. Break any chains of dependency or deception in this young man’s life, and replace them with a hunger for righteousness. Surround him with godly influences who will encourage him to walk in Your ways.

Lord, we also pray for restoration in his health. You are the Great Physician, and we ask that You would bring healing to his body and strength to overcome any struggles he faces. May he come to rely on You alone for his well-being.

We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, for it is only through Him that we have access to You and the power to live victoriously. Amen.

We encourage you to have an open and honest conversation with him about your concerns, rooted in love and truth. Share your heart with gentleness, but do not compromise on what you know to be right. If he is unwilling to change, it may be a sign that this relationship is not God’s best for you. Remember, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding" (Proverbs 9:10). Trust that God will direct your steps as you seek Him first. If you have not yet done so, we also encourage both of you to surrender your lives fully to Jesus Christ, for it is only through Him that we find true purpose, healing, and the strength to live according to God’s design.
 
We’re sorry you’re walking through this discovery, it hurts to learn something like this when you care about someone, especially from a distance. Your concern for his health shows real love, and we understand why this feels so heavy.

It sounds like you genuinely want what’s best for him, and that’s worth honoring. Since he already has health problems, gently encouraging him to speak with a doctor about his marijuana and alcohol use could be a practical and caring step. A medical professional can help him understand how these substances interact with his health issues in a way that’s concrete and non-judgmental, sometimes that makes all the difference. You might also mention that many churches offer recovery groups like Celebrate Recovery, where people find support without shame.

At the same time, it’s okay to tell him, calmly and honestly, that this matters deeply to you, and why. Long-distance relationships thrive on trust, and sharing your heart isn’t controlling; it’s an invitation to be real together. Whatever you decide about the future, you don’t have to carry this alone. Lean on friends, family, or a trusted mentor who can pray with you and help you think clearly.

Lord Jesus, we lift this man to You, body, mind, and spirit. Bring clarity about the harm these habits may be doing to his health, and stir in him a genuine desire to stop. Give him wise counsel and supportive people around him. Grant our friend here wisdom and peace as she navigates this, and protect her heart from despair. We trust You to work in ways we cannot see, for his good and Your glory. Amen.
 
Please pray about this: I just found out that my boyfriend smokes marijuana. I had no idea he was doing this only that he didn't view it as harmful. We are long distance of a few hours. He has multiple health problems and I'm certain that him smoking marijuana (and it sounds like he may also occasionally drink alcohol) is certainly not helping with those health issues. Please pray about this. It may unfortunately be a deal breaker in our relationship. Either way, pray he would stop this. Thank you.
I prayed for this in Jesus name. amen.
 
The secret of health is what has been hidden from you, and now it is brought to light. That which was done in darkness is revealed, and your spirit is troubled, as well it should be. For true health, the health of your entire being, spirit, soul, and body, cannot coexist with a fondness for that which stupefies the mind and weakens the moral nature. It is no small matter when one who is bound to another in the affection of a near relationship conceals a practice that is not only unwise for the body but ruinous to the soul’s watchfulness. The health of the countenance is the outward sign of the inward condition, and what shall we say of a countenance clouded by a substance that dulls the mind and opens the door to further carelessness? If he finds no harm in it, he is already deluded; they have no longing to rise to spiritual health, of which, indeed, they know nothing.

The relationship of marriage, if it is to be entered into, is a matter of the most solemn responsibility. He who would be a husband must assume the weight of leading, protecting, and nurturing, and whatsoever clouds his judgment or enslaves his appetite makes a mockery of that holy charge. You have discovered a portion of his life that was kept apart, and this must bring you to earnest searching. For the wife is to reverence her husband and be subject to him in all things; but how can reverence be given to one who is himself in bondage to a foolish and fleshly indulgence, and how can subjection be safe where the helm is held by a hand made unsteady? You do well to see it as a weighty matter, for what fellowship has light with darkness?

Yet let us look deeper, for the physical ailment is but a shadow of the spiritual danger. Do you remember that fine, athletic young man who was envied for his robust health, and yet he fell into a course that wasted his strength and brought him low? So it is with the soul that trifles with these things; God forbid that he should run the frightful risks that backsliders run who thus walk wide of Jesus Christ and dwell far below the elevated region where spiritual health is sustained. The craving for such things is often a sign of a soul ill at ease, seeking a false peace instead of flying to the cross. When the sharp and deep cut of the first surgeon ministers to ultimate health and is absolutely necessary to a cure, is it not best? This news, though painful, may be the very incision of the Lord’s mercy to awaken you both.

And what is our hope in such a case? It is this: God is the health of the countenance of His people, and He can restore even the backslider. He has said, "I will heal their backsliding." He can drive out the love of the drug, break the chain of secret indulgence, and make the man a vessel of honor. Pray, then, with all importunity that he would stop this, but pray with a larger view, that his soul would be brought into the health that comes from beneath the wings of the Sun of Righteousness. For nothing but a sight of the Crucified One will truly sever him from his sin.

As for yourself, is it not a sweet contentment that does not need to see all the outcome at once? "Since I never did trust in my substance, or my health, though He goes farther, still, and slays me, yet will I trust in Him." If this relationship must be broken for the sake of your own fidelity to Christ, then it is the Lord’s taking away of a support that would have been a snare. Do not trust in the substance of your hopes for this union, nor in the appearance of health, but in God alone. Lay the whole matter at the foot of the cross. If you perish, perish there. If he is to be saved, it must be there. Christ is all our salvation, all our desire, and all our praise.
 
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.


🙏Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so
. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

 
You ask prayer for your boyfriend who smokes marijuana and sees no harm in it. But consider: what communion has light with darkness? He lives in a fog, calling a poison harmless. The body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and he defiles it with smoke and drink, as if he owed no account to the Maker. You are right to be troubled, his health decays, but the soul’s sickness is the truer peril. Yet I must ask: why do you call him “boyfriend”? The Scripture knows no such bond; it honors only the covenant of marriage. If you have yoked yourself to him outside that holy estate, examine your own standing before God. The prayer of the disobedient is a breath wasted.

Do not think that if he merely quits the herb for a season, all will be well. Men fast for forty days and then return to their vomit, as if Lent could sponge away a year’s filth. Temporary abstinence is no cure; the heart must be changed, not the habit paused. Let him that thinks he stands take heed lest he fall, but also let not the fallen despair, many sick become whole, and many healthy grow infirm by carelessness. Yet he must first awake from his stupor and cry out with the publican, “God be merciful to me a sinner!” To say “it is not harmful” is to call evil good and make a covenant with death. If he breaks the law of sobriety, any outward profession of faith is made void, like circumcision on a lawbreaker.

Do not judge by appearances, that because he is pleasant or claims belief, the matter is small. His desire for this drug proves his poverty. The truly rich man is he who needs nothing but God; he who longs for many things is a beggar, even if his purse bulges. Like the rich man who saw Lazarus only in torment, this man does not see his own soul famished at the gate. Pray that his eyes open before the great chasm is fixed.

You are right to consider that this may end your bond. If he will not turn, what fellowship has the believer with the infidel? Your first love must be Christ, who bought you with His blood. Better to enter the kingdom alone than with a companion who drags you toward the pit. I will pray not merely that he stops smoking, but that he becomes a whole man, crucified to the world and the world to him. But do not ask God to bless a path that wanders from His commandments. Fall on your face and cry for mercy for both your souls, that when the dread voice cries, “Holy things for the holy,” you may be found among the sheep and not the scabbed goats.
 
What you’re facing touches on something deeper than the behavior itself. The use of marijuana and alcohol in the face of health problems shows a person who is seeking comfort or escape apart from the Lord. Behind every such choice is a soul that hasn’t yet found its rest in a loving, intimate relationship with God. That’s the real root, and that’s where our prayers must go.

Many people live in what feels like a legal or distant connection with God, going through motions, trying to be good enough, when He is offering them something entirely different. He wants to be known as a Father, close and tender, not a list of rules. He wants a relationship where His love changes us from the inside out. When that relationship is right, the fruit of the Spirit grows naturally. You don’t have to fight in your own strength to avoid things that harm you; the desire for God begins to overcome lesser desires.

Your concern for his health is not misplaced. There is a real connection between the state of the soul and the body. While we are careful not to turn every promise into a formula, Scripture does show that a soul prospering in the Lord often brings health and wholeness. When someone is caught in patterns that damage the body, it points to a soul that needs healing first. So yes, pray that he would stop. But even more, pray that the Lord would draw him into a living, loving relationship with Himself. That’s the true axis on which everything turns.

As you pray, examine your own heart as well. The Bible teaches that our relationship with God is the foundation for every other relationship. If your own connection with Him is vibrant and close, you’ll have wisdom and peace for this situation, whether it leads to a restored relationship or to letting go. Sometimes we spend all our energy trying to fix a horizontal problem, a struggling relationship, while neglecting the vertical one that holds it all together. Lay this burden before the Lord, and ask Him to align your own heart with His. As you do, He will guide you.

I will join you in praying that this man’s eyes are opened, that the deception of these things is broken, and that he comes to see them not as harmless but as a poor substitute for the life God has for him. I’ll also pray for you, that you would know the nearness of the Father and trust His timing and His ways, even when it’s painful. True change is not about scraping up willpower to quit a habit; it’s about falling in love with Jesus to the point that these other things lose their grip. That’s the kind of relationship we all need.
 

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