Boyfriend
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We hear your deep concern and the pain of discovering these habits in someone you care for deeply. It’s clear your heart is burdened, not only for his well-being but also for the direction of your relationship. We want to first acknowledge the courage it takes to bring this before the Lord, and we stand with you in seeking His intervention.
The use of marijuana and excessive drinking are not aligned with God’s design for a life of holiness and self-control. Scripture is clear: "Do not get drunk with wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18 WEB). While some may argue that marijuana is different, the principle remains, any substance that alters the mind, impairs judgment, or leads to dependence is not honoring to God. The Bible also warns us, "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company corrupts good morals.' Wake up to righteousness, and don’t sin, for some have no knowledge of God" (1 Corinthians 15:33-34 WEB). This isn’t just about the substances themselves, but about the heart posture behind them, whether it’s a desire to escape, numb pain, or follow the ways of the world rather than God’s ways.
We must also gently address the nature of your relationship. You refer to him as your "boyfriend," but Scripture calls believers to pursue relationships with the intent of honoring God and moving toward marriage, not simply dating for companionship. Courtship should be entered into with the goal of discerning whether this person is a godly spouse, someone who shares your faith and commitment to Christ. If he is not living in a way that aligns with God’s Word, this is a serious matter to consider. "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14 WEB). This doesn’t mean he is beyond God’s grace, far from it, but it does mean you must prayerfully consider whether this relationship is leading you both closer to Christ or pulling you away from Him.
We also want to gently remind you that our access to God is only through the name of Jesus Christ. It is by His sacrifice on the cross that we are forgiven and reconciled to the Father. There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). If you or your boyfriend have not yet surrendered your lives to Jesus, we urge you to consider what it means to follow Him wholeheartedly. Salvation is found in no one else, and it is the foundation for true transformation.
Now, let us lift this situation to the Lord together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this young man and the woman who loves him. Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of addiction in his life, whether it’s marijuana, alcohol, or any other stronghold. You are the God who sets captives free, and we declare that freedom over him in the mighty name of Jesus. Father, soften his heart to Your truth. Let him see these habits for what they are: not just personal choices, but things that grieve Your Spirit and hinder his walk with You. Replace his desire for these substances with a hunger and thirst for righteousness.
We also pray for wisdom and discernment for this dear sister. Lord, give her clarity about this relationship. If this man is not the one You have for her, reveal that to her heart. If he is, then we ask that You would draw him to repentance and transformation. Help her to set godly boundaries and to not enable behavior that dishonors You. Give her the strength to stand firm in her faith, even if it means making difficult decisions. Surround her with godly counsel and support.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of addiction and deception in this situation. We declare that no weapon formed against Your purposes will prosper (Isaiah 54:17). We speak life, healing, and restoration over this man’s mind, body, and spirit. May he come to know the freedom that is found only in Christ. And Lord, if there are deeper wounds or struggles driving him to these substances, we ask that You would heal those as well. Let him experience Your love in a tangible way that draws him closer to You.
We also pray for their relationship, Lord. If it is Your will for them to be together, then we ask that You would purify it and make it a union that honors You. Let them both grow in their faith and encourage one another to walk in holiness. But if this relationship is not of You, then we ask that You would close the door gently but firmly, and lead them both to the paths You have for them.
Thank You, Lord, that You are a God who hears our prayers and moves on behalf of Your children. We trust You to work in this situation, and we declare that Your will be done. In the precious and powerful name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to seek godly counsel from your pastor or a trusted Christian mentor as you navigate this. It’s important to have wise, biblical input as you discern the next steps. Remember, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6 WEB). You are not alone in this, God sees your heart, and He will guide you. Keep praying, keep seeking Him, and trust that He is at work even when you can’t see it.
The use of marijuana and excessive drinking are not aligned with God’s design for a life of holiness and self-control. Scripture is clear: "Do not get drunk with wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18 WEB). While some may argue that marijuana is different, the principle remains, any substance that alters the mind, impairs judgment, or leads to dependence is not honoring to God. The Bible also warns us, "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company corrupts good morals.' Wake up to righteousness, and don’t sin, for some have no knowledge of God" (1 Corinthians 15:33-34 WEB). This isn’t just about the substances themselves, but about the heart posture behind them, whether it’s a desire to escape, numb pain, or follow the ways of the world rather than God’s ways.
We must also gently address the nature of your relationship. You refer to him as your "boyfriend," but Scripture calls believers to pursue relationships with the intent of honoring God and moving toward marriage, not simply dating for companionship. Courtship should be entered into with the goal of discerning whether this person is a godly spouse, someone who shares your faith and commitment to Christ. If he is not living in a way that aligns with God’s Word, this is a serious matter to consider. "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14 WEB). This doesn’t mean he is beyond God’s grace, far from it, but it does mean you must prayerfully consider whether this relationship is leading you both closer to Christ or pulling you away from Him.
We also want to gently remind you that our access to God is only through the name of Jesus Christ. It is by His sacrifice on the cross that we are forgiven and reconciled to the Father. There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). If you or your boyfriend have not yet surrendered your lives to Jesus, we urge you to consider what it means to follow Him wholeheartedly. Salvation is found in no one else, and it is the foundation for true transformation.
Now, let us lift this situation to the Lord together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this young man and the woman who loves him. Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of addiction in his life, whether it’s marijuana, alcohol, or any other stronghold. You are the God who sets captives free, and we declare that freedom over him in the mighty name of Jesus. Father, soften his heart to Your truth. Let him see these habits for what they are: not just personal choices, but things that grieve Your Spirit and hinder his walk with You. Replace his desire for these substances with a hunger and thirst for righteousness.
We also pray for wisdom and discernment for this dear sister. Lord, give her clarity about this relationship. If this man is not the one You have for her, reveal that to her heart. If he is, then we ask that You would draw him to repentance and transformation. Help her to set godly boundaries and to not enable behavior that dishonors You. Give her the strength to stand firm in her faith, even if it means making difficult decisions. Surround her with godly counsel and support.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of addiction and deception in this situation. We declare that no weapon formed against Your purposes will prosper (Isaiah 54:17). We speak life, healing, and restoration over this man’s mind, body, and spirit. May he come to know the freedom that is found only in Christ. And Lord, if there are deeper wounds or struggles driving him to these substances, we ask that You would heal those as well. Let him experience Your love in a tangible way that draws him closer to You.
We also pray for their relationship, Lord. If it is Your will for them to be together, then we ask that You would purify it and make it a union that honors You. Let them both grow in their faith and encourage one another to walk in holiness. But if this relationship is not of You, then we ask that You would close the door gently but firmly, and lead them both to the paths You have for them.
Thank You, Lord, that You are a God who hears our prayers and moves on behalf of Your children. We trust You to work in this situation, and we declare that Your will be done. In the precious and powerful name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to seek godly counsel from your pastor or a trusted Christian mentor as you navigate this. It’s important to have wise, biblical input as you discern the next steps. Remember, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6 WEB). You are not alone in this, God sees your heart, and He will guide you. Keep praying, keep seeking Him, and trust that He is at work even when you can’t see it.
We hear the hurt in your words, learning that someone you love has been hiding marijuana and drinking from you is a painful shock. It’s normal to feel confused, even a little betrayed, while still caring deeply for him. We’re grateful you reached out to share this with us, and we’re praying with you.
You can’t make him stop using, as much as you wish you could. Lasting change has to come from his own willingness, and that often involves professional or pastoral help. What you can do is speak truth gently and then give him space. Find a calm moment to tell him what you discovered and how it affects you, not to accuse, but to let him know it matters. Ask if he’d be open to talking with a doctor, a Christian counselor, or a recovery group like Celebrate Recovery, many of which meet in local churches and understand both the struggle and God’s power to bring freedom.
Boundaries are not unloving; they’re wise. If his use continues and he refuses help, you will need to decide what you can and cannot live with, especially while this remains a dating relationship. In the meantime, don’t carry this alone. A trusted older Christian, a pastor, or a wise friend can help you sort through your next steps without pressure.
Lord Jesus, we lift up this boyfriend. Free him from marijuana and alcohol. Stir his conscience and give him the courage to step into the light and seek real help. And we ask you to hold this woman close, guide her words, steady her heart, and give her clarity about what to do. Protect her from fear and shame, and surround her with good support. In your name we pray. Amen.
You can’t make him stop using, as much as you wish you could. Lasting change has to come from his own willingness, and that often involves professional or pastoral help. What you can do is speak truth gently and then give him space. Find a calm moment to tell him what you discovered and how it affects you, not to accuse, but to let him know it matters. Ask if he’d be open to talking with a doctor, a Christian counselor, or a recovery group like Celebrate Recovery, many of which meet in local churches and understand both the struggle and God’s power to bring freedom.
Boundaries are not unloving; they’re wise. If his use continues and he refuses help, you will need to decide what you can and cannot live with, especially while this remains a dating relationship. In the meantime, don’t carry this alone. A trusted older Christian, a pastor, or a wise friend can help you sort through your next steps without pressure.
Lord Jesus, we lift up this boyfriend. Free him from marijuana and alcohol. Stir his conscience and give him the courage to step into the light and seek real help. And we ask you to hold this woman close, guide her words, steady her heart, and give her clarity about what to do. Protect her from fear and shame, and surround her with good support. In your name we pray. Amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
The discovery of hidden sin in one so near to you is a sore trial, and I do not wonder that your heart is troubled. Yet I would have you see in this the hand of a Father who chastens those He loves. Troubles do not spring out of the dust, neither does affliction grow up from the ground like hemlock from the furrows of the field, but the Lord Himself kindles the fiery furnace and sits as a Refiner at the door. That which we receive from the rod of the Lord bears the blessed aspect of chastening from a father's hand, and this gladsome fact makes even the sharpest smart to be profitable. This unveiling, though bitter now, may be the first step toward a far greater mercy, if it drives both him and you to the only One who can break these chains.
You ask for prayer that he would cease from these habits, and we will surely bring this burden before the throne. But you must understand that deliverance from the power of sin is as much the work of God as deliverance from the guilt of sin. No human resolve, no mere wishing, no pleading of a tearful heart can snap the fetters that hold a soul bound to the weed of the earth or the intoxicating cup. Unless a supernatural power is put forth, any form of deliverance is worth nothing. The Lord must speak the word, “Deliver him from going down to the Pit,” for He has found a ransom. Point your boyfriend to that ransom: without the shedding of blood there is no remission of sins. Tell him that only the atoning work of Christ can set him truly free, and that there is no liberty but that which Christ makes free.
Yet you must also guard your own soul. You did not know of these things, and the shock reveals that he walked in darkness while you walked in light. Be not unequally yoked together with him in a way that would lead you into the same snares. If he will not turn from his sins, you must be delivered from evil company, for God has said it, “Deliver him from going down to the Pit”, and that includes delivering you from being dragged there with him. The power of darkness has a fascinating hold, and you would be wise to stand apart until you see clear evidence that the Lord has translated him from that kingdom into the kingdom of His dear Son.
Pray, and pray without ceasing. Entreat the Lord to deal powerfully with his conscience. But let your own conduct be marked by a quiet trust in the God who can save to the uttermost. Cast this care upon Him, and be not driven to despair or to rash actions. If deliverance comes, see to it that all the glory goes to Grace alone, for truly it is not of him that wills, but of God that shows mercy. And should the Lord in His time break these bonds, then shall you both declare His works with joyful lips, saying, “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.”
You ask for prayer that he would cease from these habits, and we will surely bring this burden before the throne. But you must understand that deliverance from the power of sin is as much the work of God as deliverance from the guilt of sin. No human resolve, no mere wishing, no pleading of a tearful heart can snap the fetters that hold a soul bound to the weed of the earth or the intoxicating cup. Unless a supernatural power is put forth, any form of deliverance is worth nothing. The Lord must speak the word, “Deliver him from going down to the Pit,” for He has found a ransom. Point your boyfriend to that ransom: without the shedding of blood there is no remission of sins. Tell him that only the atoning work of Christ can set him truly free, and that there is no liberty but that which Christ makes free.
Yet you must also guard your own soul. You did not know of these things, and the shock reveals that he walked in darkness while you walked in light. Be not unequally yoked together with him in a way that would lead you into the same snares. If he will not turn from his sins, you must be delivered from evil company, for God has said it, “Deliver him from going down to the Pit”, and that includes delivering you from being dragged there with him. The power of darkness has a fascinating hold, and you would be wise to stand apart until you see clear evidence that the Lord has translated him from that kingdom into the kingdom of His dear Son.
Pray, and pray without ceasing. Entreat the Lord to deal powerfully with his conscience. But let your own conduct be marked by a quiet trust in the God who can save to the uttermost. Cast this care upon Him, and be not driven to despair or to rash actions. If deliverance comes, see to it that all the glory goes to Grace alone, for truly it is not of him that wills, but of God that shows mercy. And should the Lord in His time break these bonds, then shall you both declare His works with joyful lips, saying, “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.”
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying for this request in Jesus Name.
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
It is good that these hidden things have come to the light, even though the discovery troubles your heart. For the deeds of darkness cannot remain concealed forever, and now that you know, you must not let that knowledge lie idle. The Apostle says we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness. Sin loves secrecy, but love that is true love shines the light. If you remain silent to keep a false peace, you walk in craftiness yourself. Renounce that path, and speak the truth in kindness, yet with a love that is vehement for his soul, a love that cares more for his eternity than for his fleeting ease.
Do not be afraid to stop his mouth when he makes excuses. The Lord gives boldness to His servants, not so that we may lord it over others, but so that we may snatch them from the fire. The law reveals sin, and his own conscience knows these are not the ways of a sober and watchful spirit. Marijuana clouds the mind; alcohol drowns reason, both are foes of the godly life, making the body a slave instead of a temple. Confront him gently but plainly, for the sake of his soul and for the sake of others who see his example.
Pray without ceasing, and I join my supplications with yours. Let us ask the merciful God to break these chains. His power is made perfect in weakness; where human strength falters, divine grace can raise the fallen. He who turned whole armies by tiny gnats can use the small sting of a faithful word and earnest prayer to rout the enemy’s hold on this man. Beseech the Lord to grant him a spirit of repentance, that he may see his sin and turn from it with all his heart.
Yet while you pray for him, search your own life as well. Are there any hidden things of shame in you? The same light must purge every corner. And consider the yoke you share: if he walks in darkness and you in the light, what communion can there be? I do not say to abandon him to his destruction, but to stand firm in the faith yourself, and call him only to that which is holy. Do not partake in his sins by silence or complacency. Let your own conduct preach the gospel to him more loudly than any words.
Commit all to God, who loves mankind and desires not the death of a sinner. He will befriend you and crown your perseverance with good fruit. May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ give you wisdom, courage, and a love that is both kind and unyielding in the cause of righteousness. Through your faithful prayers and witness, may this dear one be freed from these deadly vices and find the true freedom that is in Christ alone.
Do not be afraid to stop his mouth when he makes excuses. The Lord gives boldness to His servants, not so that we may lord it over others, but so that we may snatch them from the fire. The law reveals sin, and his own conscience knows these are not the ways of a sober and watchful spirit. Marijuana clouds the mind; alcohol drowns reason, both are foes of the godly life, making the body a slave instead of a temple. Confront him gently but plainly, for the sake of his soul and for the sake of others who see his example.
Pray without ceasing, and I join my supplications with yours. Let us ask the merciful God to break these chains. His power is made perfect in weakness; where human strength falters, divine grace can raise the fallen. He who turned whole armies by tiny gnats can use the small sting of a faithful word and earnest prayer to rout the enemy’s hold on this man. Beseech the Lord to grant him a spirit of repentance, that he may see his sin and turn from it with all his heart.
Yet while you pray for him, search your own life as well. Are there any hidden things of shame in you? The same light must purge every corner. And consider the yoke you share: if he walks in darkness and you in the light, what communion can there be? I do not say to abandon him to his destruction, but to stand firm in the faith yourself, and call him only to that which is holy. Do not partake in his sins by silence or complacency. Let your own conduct preach the gospel to him more loudly than any words.
Commit all to God, who loves mankind and desires not the death of a sinner. He will befriend you and crown your perseverance with good fruit. May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ give you wisdom, courage, and a love that is both kind and unyielding in the cause of righteousness. Through your faithful prayers and witness, may this dear one be freed from these deadly vices and find the true freedom that is in Christ alone.
Silas
Beloved of All
I will pray for him, and I understand why this has shaken you. Finding out that someone you love has been hiding a habit feels like a betrayal, and the smell and the secrecy make it harder. But do not treat him as if he is beyond the hope of Christ. The answer is not to tell him he cannot be saved while he smokes or drinks; that kind of message has driven many people away from the Lord rather than toward him. Pray that the Holy Spirit would stop the advance of this in his life, because God is able to stop what seems unstoppable.
At the same time, do not call it harmless. Smoking marijuana to get high and drinking to the point of losing control are not spiritual freedoms; they are bonds. He may be medicating something he does not know how to face, but the Lord can reach the root. The Scriptures show the Spirit warning Paul of bonds and afflictions before he saw the full cost. You now know what you did not know before, so let that knowledge become a call to pray rather than to panic or accuse. Do not let your own peace and joy vanish over the offense. Keep your faith before God, and do not turn this into a rumor you have to manage.
I will ask the Lord to take away the desire itself, to stop the drinking and the smoking, and to bring him to repentance and clarity. May the Lord give him a new fear of God and give you a quiet, steady spirit while you wait.
At the same time, do not call it harmless. Smoking marijuana to get high and drinking to the point of losing control are not spiritual freedoms; they are bonds. He may be medicating something he does not know how to face, but the Lord can reach the root. The Scriptures show the Spirit warning Paul of bonds and afflictions before he saw the full cost. You now know what you did not know before, so let that knowledge become a call to pray rather than to panic or accuse. Do not let your own peace and joy vanish over the offense. Keep your faith before God, and do not turn this into a rumor you have to manage.
I will ask the Lord to take away the desire itself, to stop the drinking and the smoking, and to bring him to repentance and clarity. May the Lord give him a new fear of God and give you a quiet, steady spirit while you wait.
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