Forgiveness and Reconciliation in the Bible: Meaning and Differences
Reconciliation and forgiveness are similar in some respects. So much so that sometimes we confuse the two of them. But they are not the same thing. So then what is reconciliation? And what is forgiveness? How do they apply to me as a person? And as a believer?
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Does Forgiveness Mean Reconciliation? - Jodie Stevens
Does forgiveness mean reconciliation? The quick answer: No. The reason is because forgiveness and reconciliation are two separate things. It is wonderful when relationships can be reconciled. However, that is not always possible or even safe for that matter. It is possible to forgive a...
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What Are Forgiveness and Reconciliation in the Bible? Are They Different?
Reconciliation and forgiveness are similar in some respects. So much so that sometimes we confuse the two of them. But they are not the same thing. So then what is reconciliation? And what is forgiveness?- Ed JarrettContributing Writer
- 20199 Jul
Forgiveness Definition
We are instructed a number of times in the Bible to forgive others. It was an explicit part of Jesus’ model prayer in Matthew 6:7-15. Forgive is the Greek word aphiēmi, meaning “to send away, dismiss, suffer to depart; to emit, send forth.” In relation to an offense against us, it means that we dismiss it, or send it away. We do not hold onto that offense, harboring it in our hearts. Instead, we treat it as if it had not occurred.Reconciliation Definition
The word “reconciliation” is less commonly used. And generally, at least in the Scripture, it deals with the relationship between God and humanity. Reconciliation is the Greek word katallagē, meaning “an exchange; reconciliation, restoration to favor.”Reconciliation assumes a broken relationship. Something has happened that has caused two parties to become estranged. The two might have been friends. It might be a business relationship. Or it might be as intimate as marriage. But there is now something between them.
What’s the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation?
Reconciliation involves forgiveness. But it goes beyond forgiveness. When I forgive someone, there is no guarantee that we will have a restored relationship. It may well be that even after I have forgiven someone that we remain estranged. Reconciliation, however, restores the relationship.Forgiveness may be one-sided. But reconciliation requires both parties to be willing to participate in restoring the relationship. It is always possible, and expected, for me to forgive. But reconciliation will not be possible if the other party is not willing to participate.
Forgiveness and Reconciliation in Human Relationships
Forgiveness is commanded.Forgiveness is hard. But the follow-up to the model prayer (the Lord’s Prayer) in Matthew 6:9-13 is clear. If we are unwilling to forgive others, we have no reason to expect that God will forgive us (Matthew 6:14-15).
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).
Forgiveness isn’t necessarily a two-way street.
One problem that many have with forgiveness is that they envision it as a two-way street. They are willing to forgive only when the one who has wronged them repents and seeks forgiveness. But the Scripture puts no such limit on forgiveness.
Quite the contrary. The examples of Jesus (Luke 23:34) and Stephen (Acts 7:60) both demonstrate forgiveness, even when the wrong is occurring. In the midst of their executions, both prayed for the forgiveness of those killing them.
Seek reconciliation where it’s possible.
While Romans 12:18 does not use the word “reconciliation,” I believe it does give us explicit instructions about the need for reconciliation. Paul tells us that “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” I should strive for reconciliation. But it may not always be possible.
In Matthew 5:23-24, Jesus also gives instructions concerning the need for reconciliation. He says to us that “if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” Broken relationships with people can impact my relationship with God, hindering my prayer.
What is my responsibility when I have a damaged relationship with another person? I need to forgive them whatever offense is between us. And I should seek reconciliation. But reconciliation may not be possible. I have no control over how the other person might respond. But, for my part, I should make the attempt. And even if it does not work out, I should continue to do my best to live at peace with them.
Forgiveness is NOT reconciling.
We can forgive an offender without reestablishing the relationship.
There are people in my life I have forgiven but who are NOT a part of my life. There are people I have forgiven who ARE a part of my life but not necessarily in the same magnitude as before. Forgiveness and subsequent reconciliation are quite circumstantial. The future of the relationship depends on many moving parts. All the same, forgiveness is ALWAYS for us–it is letting go of the anger, hurt, and negative emotions that follows from being wronged or betrayed.
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