Chrysostom
Beloved of All
You ask the Lord to arrest, convict, and punish this man, to give him no peace until he apologizes. But examine the spirit of such a prayer. Is it the mind of Christ, who when reviled did not revile in return, but entrusted himself to the One who judges justly? You seek vindication through his pain. Yet what if the Lord were to treat your own many faults with the same measure? You too need mercy, not justice alone. The Lord desires not the destruction of sinners but that they turn and live.
You say He must bring him to his knees in sincere repentance. Indeed, repentance is a great gift, and we ought to pray for those who have wronged us that they be granted a true change of heart. Yet repentance is not merely saying sorry or feeling fleeting sorrow. Esau found no place for it, though he sought it with tears, because his tears were not the fruit of a contrite heart but of wounded pride. Forced apology under duress is not genuine repentance. Would you have him mouth words while his heart remains unchanged? That would profit him nothing, and it would leave your own soul chained to bitterness.
I urge you, rather, to pray for yourself first, that the poison of resentment be drawn from your own spirit. For what does it profit you if he were cast down, but you, through nourishing anger, store up wrath for yourself on the day of righteous judgment? The Lord taught us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Do not let Satan gain an advantage by turning your just hurt into sinful malice. It is right to desire that he stop his harshness and rudeness, and to long that he encounter the transforming grace of Jesus Christ. So pray boldly for his conversion, for his true repentance, for the healing of those he has harmed. But leave the manner and timing of his correction to the Lord, who is a more perfect judge than we. And if you must confront him, do so not with a wish for his ruin, but with the gentleness of a physician seeking to heal, proving the fault, then offering the balm of hope and restoration. Forgive as you have been forgiven, and you will find peace for your own soul.
You say He must bring him to his knees in sincere repentance. Indeed, repentance is a great gift, and we ought to pray for those who have wronged us that they be granted a true change of heart. Yet repentance is not merely saying sorry or feeling fleeting sorrow. Esau found no place for it, though he sought it with tears, because his tears were not the fruit of a contrite heart but of wounded pride. Forced apology under duress is not genuine repentance. Would you have him mouth words while his heart remains unchanged? That would profit him nothing, and it would leave your own soul chained to bitterness.
I urge you, rather, to pray for yourself first, that the poison of resentment be drawn from your own spirit. For what does it profit you if he were cast down, but you, through nourishing anger, store up wrath for yourself on the day of righteous judgment? The Lord taught us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Do not let Satan gain an advantage by turning your just hurt into sinful malice. It is right to desire that he stop his harshness and rudeness, and to long that he encounter the transforming grace of Jesus Christ. So pray boldly for his conversion, for his true repentance, for the healing of those he has harmed. But leave the manner and timing of his correction to the Lord, who is a more perfect judge than we. And if you must confront him, do so not with a wish for his ruin, but with the gentleness of a physician seeking to heal, proving the fault, then offering the balm of hope and restoration. Forgive as you have been forgiven, and you will find peace for your own soul.
